Does anyone feel like they're barely staying above water??

[rccresswell]

I know I have messaged on here several times but I just don't know what to do anymore.  I went to the doctor on Thursday and she referred me to a  mental health nurse and she is checking my thyroid because of my panic attacks.

I feel like I have just had enough of everything!!!!!!  I try and be the best mum I can be and it is still NEVER enough (in my eyes).  My kids don't respect anything, they are spoilt little ***** with selective hearing!!!!!!!.

I just can't seem to do anything right.  My typical day starts at 5:30.  I make the beds, make breakfast for 6-6:30 and then I give the 3 of them a bath.  At about 7:30 the kids watch some cartoons while I put the dishes away from the night before, put a load of washing on.  At about 8:30 I do jigsaws with my kids for abit and then I wash the dishes from breakfast, vaccumn or sweep all while trying to hold Ella to stop her from crying.  At about 9 Ella goes down so I set up craft and hang out the washing.  They start doing craft and then decide to paint the concrete and themselves!!!!!!!!!!  I get so angry about that I then clean them and pick up all the craft.

Ella's up about 10-10:30 so now it is time for morning tea.  I make morning tea and then we back something for afternoon tea.  My kids are not allowed packaged/processed food or whatever you call it so everything is hand made.  We do some baking and the kids go outside for about an hour and at 12:00 I make them lunch.  After lunch I do the morning tea and lunch dishes and then sweep the floor again.  

At 1:00 the kids go down for a rest if they ever do!!!!!!  I have a rest after I have folded all the washing.  By the time they wake up or come out of the their rooms I give them afternoon tea.  They play for abit more and then at 3 they can watch cartoons and Mr Maker.  When 4:00 my husband gets home and spends time with the kids while I prepare and cook dinner.  At 5:30 we have dinner, one of us cleans the house while the other baths the kids.  6:00 is story time and 6:30 they are in bed except Ella.  She stays up till about 7:30.

My kids very rarely listen and I feel like I am yelling ALL DAY.  I am having so many anxiety attacks and I just want to cry.

[Majikat]

Hope you are feeling better soon.... depression is not fun to deal with...

[SunWorshiper_26]

I'm so glad your organs and all are ok!  Luckily post natal depression is very treatable. And remember we are all hear for you :)

[rccresswell]

Hey all just thought I would give you an update.
My doctor said my thyroid, liver and kidneys were normal so I have post natal depression.  I have been given this natural thing to take, I need to read a book and do one thing nice formyself everyday and she is referring me to the mental health nurse.  I have another doctor's appointment on Monday.

I am glad I have the ball rolling now so hopefully I will start feeling better in about 3-4 weeks :)

[trying43]

Hope ur appointment goes ok

[SunWorshiper_26]

Good luck :)

[rccresswell]

I have my appointment tomorrow.  I really hope it is that!!!!!!!

[SunWorshiper_26]

Have you heard back about your thyroid?  Have your iron levels checked too as that can cause fatigue too. I hope your appt goes well :)

[rccresswell]

I think its hard trying to be consistent.  I do so well for a few days and then I just stop - more lazy than anything else.  I am still on a real downer but that is probably from exhaustion.  I have my next doc appointment on Thursday and see where we go from there.

[trying43]

I am so glad u r getting some time for you.  We did the whole taking all toys away today.  They weren't happy but now understand what they have to do behavior wise to earn things back.  They were really good so they earned 1 toy and 30 minutes tv time.  Its hard to stay motivated but you can do it.

[rccresswell]

Yeah I can definately see why I am so run down now!!!  I thought all that behaviour was normal.  I took the kids to the park this morning.  I had a chart on the wall and if I growled them 5 times before 9 am we weren't going to the park.  I do know you should focus on their good behaviour but that is what my kids understood and it worked.  I don't know if they were good because I went out last night and had me time or if the whole 5 chances and then you don't go affected them.

Well we went to the park and then came home and made popcorn which they are eating right now.  I think we might read some books after they've eaten that and then go and have a rest.

I just need some ME time!!!!  I'm going out thursday night as well!!! The only problem with this is I am like this for a week and then I go back to being my crazy self.  I just need to keep motivating myself to have some me time :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

Wow you are super mum!  You work so hard and are so selfless, always putting your children before yourself. It's hard to work so very hard and not get anything in return but poor behavior from your children. I'm so very sorry. My pediatrician said that as a stay at home mom I MUST do something for myself every single day. A hot bath, read a book alone, watch a movie with my husband but every day something. I think it helps, I am able to unwind and stop being mum and instead be ME which sometimes is hard to remember who ME is. We want to give our family everything but we need to all remember that if we cannot take care of ourselves and be happy that we cannot take care of our family. I'm glad you are getting out a bit and doing things for yourself. I think that is very important.

Hugs!

[rccresswell]

Hey
Thanks for that.  I went out last night with my aunty for a coffee so I feel a but more rejuvinated.  It was nice to have a moan about my pitiful life lol.  I have 3 kiddies also, Austin 4, Caitlyn 2 and Ella 7 months.  It is a bloody hard job and challenging.  

I'm having a date night with my hubby tonight when the kids go to sleep.  A date night to us is sitting in the lounge and having a wine together.  That will be nice :)  I think my problem is trying to find time for me which I have lost amongst being a wife, a mum, a cleaner and a healer lol.

[trying43]

I think we have the same ideas on cleaning...I really struggled with letting things go for a bit but if it gives me a little extra time then so be it.  Just last week the house looked like a bomb went off in there.  I really just didnt feel like dealing with it so i went out and got some scrapbook stuff .(i havent used it yet lol) Being a mom is hard work!!  I never thought it would be such a big change adding an extra baby. (3 kids now)
I am glad you are taking some time for you, its so easy to put everyone and everything ahead and forget about you.

On the taking stuff away, today my dh and I are actually going to take every toy out of their rooms and let them earn them back one at a time.  Their behavior has been better as I said but they are not keeping their rooms clean their only chore! I know it may sound a little harsh but if we don't keep out kids in line society will
and I don't want to visit my kids in prison lol
Good luck and keep your head up!

[rccresswell]

Hey
Thanks for that.  I had a very good cry this afternoon and wrote some words to describe how I was feeling in a journal.  That did make me feel better to let it all out but not really let it out.

I know what you mean about trying to be supermum and I try so hard to be a great mum but I feel as though I am just falling apart.  I never have me time and I think that is half the problem.  I am going out tonight for a coffee with my aunty to get back some part of who I am.  If someone asked me who I was the big answer would be I don't know anymore :(

I know it is easy to say not clean but it is soooooo hard putting it into action - I really struggle with not cleaning.  I think I just need to change my perspective on that.

As for the toys I will give it a go.  I have taken a whole heap of toys off my kids and I put them in containers in the garage.  Once a week they get the opportunity to change their toys.  With craft today we did it outside so they decided to paint and then stand in it and walk all over the concrete with paint on their feet.  I was beyond FUMING!!!!!!  So I said they weren't allowed craft for the rest of the week and they didn't even care.  I have done that a lot :(  They're not allowed playdough because they throw it around the house.

I am definately going to try taking their stuff away.  'Thanks for that :)

[trying43]

Omg!!! I can see why you are having problems!!! If I did all that in a day I would kill over and where in there is your time???  And as far as the kids not listening I have 2 boys that I feel like all I do is yell at them. They don't listen.  I finally hit my breaking point and enlisted dh to have a big talk with them and take away some of their favorite toys.  They could earn them back when their behavior improved.  It has actually helped a lot.  Its not perfect but better.  And as far as all the housework I used to try to be supermom and keep everything all done but I have learned u get burned out quick.  Let some of it slide, it will be there tomorrow when u get ready to do it I promise!  It never does itself! lol I think you are very overworked and need to get some time in there for you.  Try to remember everything doesn't have to be perfect.  And when the kids don't do what u tell them don't bother yelling, take something away, I have found their hearing becomes really good when I tell mine no football or swimming or take the xbox and tv.  I am sorry you are so upset I know where ur coming from.