No heartbeat? :(

[meme1988]

i know i posted this question before but i need as much help as i can get

last week at 8w1d i had vaginal ultrasound there was no heartbeat seen. i freaked out the next day i went to an ultrasound specialist and he used the doppler and confirmed that he heard the heartbeat i had hcg checked 50,000

today i went to my regular dr, fetus measured 9w1d right on schedule. still no heartbeat seen, he did not use the doppler. my hcg level dropped to 37,000,
when i showed him the other drs report he said that its not true, and it must be my heartbeat!

i cried in his office, he said i had a 50 50 chance of continuing this pregnancy.

plus i have no bleeding at all

anyone been through this or know someone that did and continued the pregnancy ?

[SunWorshiper_26]

Lil_lady, alcohol at that stage could not have done anything. The baby isn't getting nutrients from you at that point so you could have done drugs and it probably wouldn't have made a difference. Though it is hard to not beat ourselves up over it. I also blamed myself. There was nothing really I could have done though. We were trying at the time but like your OB said, it was predetermined. Nothing that could be done about it.

Meme I'm glad to hear that the hcg level drop is normal and because you have heard the heartbeat you have better odds too. So continue to have faith, relax and try so very hard to rest. I know first hand how hard it is, as does lil_lady but the best thing you can do is put your feet up, rest and relax.

Hang in there!  Let us know what the OB says later this week and how your blood draw goes!

[meme1988]

Thank you so much.. You made me cry, i know that nothing is in my hand, whats killing me is that its not like a cold or any sickness that u take pills for to make u get better, there is nothing me or any doctor can do to make my baby better. I have been ttc for a year. When i finally did i get the bad news. I still have hope though, i beleive the dr that said that he heard the heartbeat, waiting is very very hard.

Yes i have another blood draw scheduled next week. But i read that its normal for hcg levels to decrease after week 8.

[lil_lady25]

Please dont blame yourself for something you did or could have done. It is hard to believe but there was nothing you could have done but to let nature take it's course. My OB said that when we conceive it is determined then if the baby will survive or not. So there was nothing anyone could do to prevent it. I beat myself up over my first m/c because I had gone out the bar a week before finding out I was pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant and we werent "trying" but nor preventing. I kept telling myself if only I didnt have those drinks that I would have that baby in my arms this month as my due date was July 21st. But my OB insisted that everything was so small at that point that I wouldnt be able to harm the fetus even if I tried. I am hoping that you get some positive news and my fingers are crossed for you. Are they going to monitor your HCG levels?

[SunWorshiper_26]

Meme I have also experienced a miscarriage and it I did the same thing, I blamed myself that I did something wrong. But I promise you unless you were smoking crack or shooting up heroin actually scratch that opiates are ok... Yeah there is no way that you could have done anything to cause this. If drug addicts and boxers can get pregnant and stay pregnant than certainly we can too. Really the main thing is that until the end of the 9th week of pregnancy all of the major parts are still forming (heart, brain, liver, spine, kidneys and so on) so this is the time that most m/c happen. If you do have a m/c than it's probably a genetic problem in the baby that led this to happen.

After my m/c I was convinced it was my fault for not drinking only tap water, taking baths even though they were only warm, using face wash with salysilic acid in it and so much more. Tap water will not cause a miscarriage, hot bath unlikely, laying flat on your back or not laying on your left side certainly will not cause a miscarriage. Please try not to beat yourself up about this. If you ever want to talk I am more than happy to chat via private message. I'm more than happy to share with you my m/c and fertility journey. It is important for you to know you are not alone and that this is NOT your fault no mater what happens. You are in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time and I pray that everything turns out to be fine. Please keep me posted. I'm here for you!

[meme1988]

Thank u ladies. i am sorry for your loss.
It is really hard to think that my baby is dead inside of. I keep thinking what have i done wrong. Sleep on the wrong side and stopped the blood fromreaching my baby? My showers were hot? It hurts but im trying to keep some faith in the dr that said that he indeed heard the heartbeat. I want to be positive but still prepare for the worst.

[lil_lady25]

I am also sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know how much it hurts to lose a baby as I have lost 2. Since your HCG levels are dropping that is not a good sign that this pregnancy will be a viable one. I would continue to get your HCG read and if it continues to lower you can decide whether or not you would like everything to pass naturally (could take up to three weeks) or get a D&C (everything is removed in one day). I understand your not bleeding but sometimes people have m/c and have no symptoms at all. My first I found out at 11 weeks that the baby stopped developing at 9 weeks. I had no symptoms of the m/c and was still having pregnancy symptoms. My body didnt recognize the loss and I went on to have a D&C the following week. I was in absolute shock because I didnt have any cramping or bleeding so I thought they were wrong. I hope everything works out for you. Please keep us updated.

[SunWorshiper_26]

I posted on your wall but I'll reply here as well. I would suggest getting a second opinion and additional bloodwork. I would have them repeat the hcg and ultrasound and figure out whats going on. I am so very sorry that you are going through all of this stress and confusion right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted!