Stress and anxiety at 9 weeks! Heart palpitations, chest pain.

[Hope75]

I am so stressed out.  My mother and I had an argument and it was pretty heated, but we finished it and I thought we got over it.  Well, she is bipolar and has a very bad habit of obsessing over me.  I am an only child, 34, first pregnancy - unplanned.  My husband and I are very stable and both work, so the unplanned part is just an oops, but we can handle it.  So, she keeps calling me, every stinking day, with nothing to say.  She just wants to call me, and obsesses over it, because we had this fight.  It's like I have to kiss her butt (sorry, but true), blow her kisses and act like everything is great between us, or she'll call - over and over again and drive me insane!  She called yesterday, said she went somewhere with my grandmother.  I said that's good.  Then, she called again, after 10pm when I was in bed and left me a voice message to say she went somewhere with my grandmother - same dang story!  She is also a recovering alcoholic and prescription drug addict.  This is what she does when she is spiraling down with bipolar/OCD issues.  It really, really stresses me out.  I can't be stressed out right now.

She calls me to quell her own obsession - that is what makes me so mad.  I am pregnant, and I don't need this - so she needs to stop getting a fix by calling me for her OWN gain!  Help, I am so mad and stressed that my heart hurts!

[bam1014]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  Sounds just awful.  My mother is bipolar too, but we severed our relationship a very long time ago.

I think you may know that you can't change her behavior?  But is there a support group for you?  Perhaps some coping techniques for dealing with her or relaxation techniques for putting you in a better frame of mind after you deal with her?  Is there anyone in your family who can help run interferance?  Take over the "mom duties" for you for a while?

Take care of yourself and big congrats on the pg!!  I'm 34 too and this is DH's and I's first.

[Hope75]

Yes, we've been doing this for 20 years, lots of meds.  I can't count how many times we've been through the "stop obsessing and calling me" issue.  

I have a difficult time faking niceness with her and she sees through me when I do try to fake it.  I don't know if I can make her feel like a mother - it's been like this for years.  

I'll try my hardest, but I'm skeptical that she'll buy it;o)  I'll update!  Thanks for your support!!!

[waitn838]

i would suggest trying to talk to your mother and let her know how you feel in nice terms...explain to her that you are in bed by 10pm and very sleepy and will not answer the phone...

i am sorry you are going through this but it sounds like your mom needs you too...is your mom taking meds to help her? maybe you can come to a compromise....the worse thing you can do is make your mom feel bad for being a mom

the only way you will get through this stress is to sit and talk to your mom and make her feel ike a mother and not a pain in your butt