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2011837 tn?1343797528

Just A Vent, How Can I Help Him Understand?

Im 13 weeks and 1 day pregnant as of today. My boyfriend has been a complete jerk the whole pregnancy. Well, maybe my hormones are mking me think he's a jerk but I still really dislike him at times. He always wants to be out with his friends. He lives with me so at night when hes sleep is the only time we spend together. He spends all his hours of the day with him pothead cheating bestfriend. He doesnt get why I dont want them hanging out! Like hello! The guy is known as a HUGE cheater, he smokes 24/7, and doesn't respect the fact my boyfriend has a pregnant girlfriend at home. So since I always yell and get mad my boyfriend is starting to lie and make excuses but really be with his bestfriend . I hope/think he isn't cheating but I just want him to stay in the house more often, check on his pregnant girlfriend, and leave the streets alone for a while because once the baby comes Im going to have zero tolerance for this. How can I talk about my concerns .. in what ways can I bring it up nicely and help him understand? I dont want him to feel im choosing his friends i just want to come first .. sorry it's so long :/ Please help!
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Avatar universal
I think you guys have to come to a MUTUAL agreement, not just try to cut him off. Remember he's not legally tied to you nor the baby (at least not yet) so what would happen if you give him zero tolerance and he's like ok see you later? Do you know what I mean?
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2011837 tn?1343797528
Yea we have arguements over it all the time as well . I sure hope things get better .. goodlyck !
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2218623 tn?1355278513
Ughh i know how you feel. My boyfriend always wants to go out to parties/clubs and doesnt get that i dont want to go and dont want him always going. he says hes just having his fun while he can and then when the baby comes hell calm down. I understand he doesnt have to change his life completely yet but ive got a hard time believing hes gonna change. i feel like he should start proving it now. it causes a lot.of arguments between us. im working 2 jobs so i have nooo time for any fun time. Youre not alone!!
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2011837 tn?1343797528
Hopefully :( I miss my boyfriend.
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2020005 tn?1628125976
I know it can be hard to separate, but I'm sure as soon as his friend sees how life is when you've got a pregnant wife, or a child, they usually bail on their best friends to party and what not, so hopefully you don't have to deal with it too long!!
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2011837 tn?1343797528
Thank you. I'll sit him down right after work tonight ughh. He even works with his bestfriend, im starting to think they date eachother LOL .
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2020005 tn?1628125976
I would just sit him down and tell him this all, calmly, definitely. You are NOT overreacting, and like you said, if he's doing this when the baby is born you're going to really resent him. Tell him what bothers you, and exactly what needs to change, if it doesn't change, then there are consequences of course, but if you don't put your foot down then he'll never learn. Lying is something I will NOT tolerate, even if it's just where he's at, my husband wouldn't think of lying to me, so make sure you address that with him too! Good luck hun!
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