OT- I want your opinions please

[GRose]

I posted this in 18-34 too but I wanted to see what you ladies thought.
Joe and I have been together for over three years and have lived together basically the entire time and now we have our second child on the way. We have always talked about getting married and now that I am pregnant again I think we should really do it soon. I have been feeling like **** about myself to the point where I don't want to tell people about my pregnancy since I am not married. I love him very much and want to spend my life with him so the baby isn't the only reason for getting married.
I have always dreamed of having a beautiful wedding with family and close friends, nothing too big but we are not in a financial place to have an actual ceremony and reception even if my Dad helps. Joe doesn't have parents so there will be no help on his side either. So, I have been thinking that we can just get married in the court house and have a party late next summer after the baby comes and I can wear a wedding gown then.
What do you all think of court house wedding? Did any of you have one? If so, how did you make it special and not depressing?
It makes me sad to think that I wont have my dream wedding but I don't want to wait anymore.

[Karen616]

First, the feeling like **** is probably your hormones, so try not to read too deeply into that. Second, me and my fiance were engaged on Sept 24th and I found out I was pg on Nov 3rd so we are not going to have a wedding anymore we are going to have a courthouse marriage before the baby comes. We hadnt even started planning a wedding to begin with and that has never really been anything I cared about, or him. We both have really small families and we arent really that close to them, only get together on the holidays, so this isnt a big deal to us and we are going to be happy to be husband and wife, rather than worried about the ceremony. I completely understand your view though bc most girls do have that wish to wear a beautiful dress and walk down the isle. You just need to figure out what will make you happy. The baby is coming and thats a fact that isnt going to change so the only variable is if you want to get married before the baby or after. Only YOU know what you want...just do whatever makes you happy.

[IsabelleCanada]

I got married with a judge of the peace (civil) in a hotel wedding room; then we had a small reception in the restaurant that was reserved for us... there were a total of 40 guests, it was nice and simple and I really got to enjoy this wedding; the only down side was that it was rainy and my hair was not great so the pictures came out so-so.

I thought the wedding would be such a big deal and frankly, now that I look back (it was 5 years ago), I barely remember and it was the best day of my life until my boy was born... now that's a big deal!

A year later, we went to France where my in-laws live and got married again but in a church this time... it was beautiful and stress free since I was already married for a year... so I got to wear my dress again and this time it was a gorgeous summer sunny day and I had killer hair with little flowers in it... my pictures were gorgeous!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/119/5770/640/mariage3.jpg

Good luck!

[kc1021]

Also, if you are feeling judged because you are not married yet... get engaged. (Im not sure if you already are).  It might make you feel better to wear a ring on your hand and tell people that you are so excited to expecting a baby and have an engagement at the same time.  I did feel weird some of the time when I said my "boyfriend" when referring to my son's father.  We've been engaged for several months and are perfectly happy the way things are progressing.  

[kc1021]

Grose,

Hey, do what you want to do! Don't get married in a court house if you don't want to, just to be married!  There is no rush just because you are expecting a second child.  In fact, I am pregnant with #2 with my fiance.  He's the father of my first child and we planned this 2nd pregnancy.  We are engaged to get married but chose to have a baby before a wedding.  Some people may judge and think you should be married before you have children, but it's our life and our priorities that are important.   Even if you do have a small wedding, I say wait until next year and you'll have your two kids there, not in a courthouse.  Just my opinion, but whatever you decide to do make sure it is what makes your happy!

[SoCalTricia]

I'm in a similar situation. My BF and I have been planning to get married...we were thinking this spring. We decided to start trying for a baby, thinking that because of my age it would take a while, like maybe six months or so. Surprise! We started trying in October and I got pregnant in November. This will be a first wedding for both of us, and I wanted something small, but special. I want to wear a pretty dress, and I want my family there. We considered Las Vegas...but now that I'm pregnant, I don't want to go there (too much smoke and I can't drink...lol). We definately want to be married before the baby gets here...but this will be my only wedding, and I want to have fun at the reception (and on the honeymoon). At this point, money is a factor for us, also. We can't afford the kind of wedding we were planning to have now because of other things that have come up. I think what we've decided to do is get the license and have a small ceremony at home with just immediate family...on our first anniversary, we will have a big "reception" with friends and extended family and go on a honeymoon. By then the baby will be about six months old, and my mom will babysit while we're off on a cruise somewhere!

So, to answer your question, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing a civil ceremony right away, then celebrating with friends and family later!

Tricia

[GRose]

I guess part of what bugs me is that I worry that we will say that we are going to have a party this summer and we will never get around to it.
We live in an apartment so the option of getting married at home really isn't there and it is too cold to do it outside.
We want to do this so bad but there are so many reasons I don't want to get married in a court house.

[Anya1984]

My brother had a wedding in a court house and then the reception in the restaurant...it was great! Make sure that you have a white dress on and then it won't be depressing at all!!
Another thought is you can invite a wedding officient to whereever the party will be (it can be even the backyard of your house), it is not expensive, only up to $200 for a simple ceremony and then have a little party at the bar/restaurant/your house....
I did that and it was beautiful!!!

And yes, you should get married :)

[Darkestlight]

I got married in a court house and we have always said one day we will have a real wedding. which is fine it doesnt bother me. I'm just happy to be married to my husband.