No heartbeat

[Chickie101]

Hi, my daughter is prego with her first child.  Her and hubby have been trying for 3 years, married five and on this past Wed the 19th of Nov, she had her first u/s and he saw the sac and pole but no heartbeat.  He is a young dr and has already told her to prepare herself to m/c.  I think he is a jerk.  There is no need to say that.  Everything else is good, she has not had pain, bleeding nothing.  I think it was to premature of him to say that as every woman carries differently and also she has a tipped uterus and he made no mention of that.  He didn't even schedule another appt. for her.  We are searching for a new dr but in the meanwhile I told her to keep calm, well as calm as she can be and we will find another dr.  She was absolutely terrified, hysterical and really MADDDDD at his bedside manner.  Any input from you ladies would be so appreciated.

Thanks for listening...........

[mandy38]

Unfortunately miscarriages aren't determined by how good or moral you are or how much you believe in God, they just happen for all different reasons, some for the greater good, some not!  I lost my last child at 20 wks and that was a missed miscarriage.  I'm not saying that is what is happening with your daughter, please God it isn't, but some terribly unfair things happen in life that we have no control over and if being good was the answer to stop them then, life would be pretty easy and we wouldn't learn much from it!  My prayers are with your daughter, all you can do now is be there for her and help her through it as much as you can!

[Chickie101]

He never even told her the #s.  She had blood done this past Thursday and then Sat.  she is actually on her way there now to get the blood work.  This dr is a new young dr. She had my dr whom I have had for over 20 years but he retired before she found out she was pregnant.  She wants all her medical records and will try to find someone who will take her.  The initial blood work when they confirmed her pregnancy.......was all good is what she was told.  I wanted to go with her but she told me no.  She knows I will blow my stack and this incompetant dr who didn't even have the decency to tell her look don't worry just yet.  We'll get blood drawn see what's going on and take it from there....schedule another appt.  blah blah blan but he didn't say anything like that.  He was just throwing in the towel so to speak.  This really ***** waiting.  My daughter has always been a good girl, everything right, went to college for medical actually and her and her hubby of 5+ years just want a child.  He is 32 and she will be 30.  They have so much love to give a child, a gorgeous home that he built himself and the means to give this child a beautiful life.   I just don't understand why all this is happening.  As her mother I wish I could take away all here hurt and pain.  Which I mean mental pain.  She has no physical pains of any kind, just all normal preggo signs.  God, how we need his miracles.........

[ArmyPrincess819]

I wrote that above post without even reading anyother comments. It's important to see the hcg levels rising and they have to be over 1000 before you see everything. Zen hadn't even had her bloodwork done yet so chances are her levels at the time of her 1st u/s weren't high enough for all of the baby ot be seen. Go get a 2nd opinion definately and a dr who does bloodwork. I had 2 blood draws before seeing my dr for my 1st app.

[ArmyPrincess819]

If you think he is incompitent could you maybe get a 2nd opinion before throwing in the towel? There could be alot of reasons why he didn't see the heartbeat even down to hcg levels if she ovulated later than she thinks it would be to soon to see it. Is she having any pg complications yet. If it were me I would get a 2nd opinion. Is this dr a new one for her. I have had the same obghn for almost 10 yrs. I'm lucky. Good luck to you and your daughter. Let me know what happens.

[zenhopes]

NO problem...we are always here to help and support each other...:)) That is soooo normal....it's the little miracle making space in her uterus...I feel it, too!! It's almost like a tearing sensation...I felt it the first time during a yoga stretch...it hurt like if I had been doing lots of abdominals and crunches!!! :)) which I haven't.... so just hang in there...the first few weeks I did not have a lot of symptoms other than that one and fatigue....but now nausea has joined in!!! which I welcome with a smile...
Keep up hope alive and trust in the higher power.... things have a funny way to work themselves out.... :)) you will be OK!!
Hugs!
Carla

[Chickie101]

Thank you so much.  I was actually on the phone with my daughter when I read your e-mail and read it to her.  You just brought her sooooooo much hope and joy and she called me to tell me she felt something funny on the inside around her belly button.  Not pain but like a sort of tugging.  What is that?????? Please it's just been a long time for me to remember her pregnancy because unfortunately I had a lot of problems with her and she turned out to be a very beautiful and very smart young woman.........so bear with me.........

[zenhopes]

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through such a stressful time. I am going to share my story with you because I went through it last week!!!! i am supposed to be 7 weeks preggo...I went for my first US on Nv 11 and my Dc could not see a pole or detect a HB. He asked me to comeback Nov 18th for a 2nd u/s....this time he could see a pole but no HB....he told me right away that this was not a viable pregnancy and that it would be better to schedule a D&C for the following week...Nov 26th (this coming wed)...he had concluded this without giving me a blood test of any sort!!! I was VERY UPSET...cried my self to sleep that night...but, the next morning I called another Dc and implored the nurse to take me in that day...I could not wait another week...I wanted some test done.....I went to this appointment hoping for the best, but expecting the worse and a miracle happened... my new Dc saw the HB and fetal pole measuring 6 Wks.....he told me that I just probably ovulated late!!!
A second opinion is a MUST in your case...Dcs. are just human and they make mistakes, also machines can  malfunction.  Never give up hope.. every woman develops different...and at the end it's not in our hands....someone else is in charge!!!
Just hang in there, I know it's hard, but try to think positive and let God do its work..l!!!  I send you lots of good thoughts and and well wishes for you and your family! Hope all turns out great....keep us posted!
Carla

[aweeonetolove]

Of course you don't want your daughter to suffer!  You sound like such a good caring Mom and I'm positive your daughter will be one as well.  I'm glad she is getting her HCG leves checked.  They will tell let her know what is going on and hopefully everything will be perfect!  I forgot to mention in my previous posts that ultrasounds can be up to 5 days off in dating pregnancies this early on.  So it is possible that your daughter is actually earlier than what they thought. I agree with darkestlight that if things go badly, your daughter should talk to a new Dr. about what is going on.  It normally takes up to one year to conceive, three is uncommon.  I hope for the best and wish you and your family well!

[Darkestlight]

I definitely agree. God's in control.

[Chickie101]

Oh I hope all goes well for you too.  I'm sooooo sorry if I've been so absorbed in our own problems,  I was being so insensitive. I'll pray for all of you that God will Bless everyone with a beautiful little miracle. But we are getting another dr. she is going to get all her records from this one and go to another dr to have everything done all over again.  We actually get the HCG levels tomorrow from Thursday and Saturday.  Whatever happens it's in God's hands.  

[Darkestlight]

And to tell you the truth it happens to the best of us. I went to the hospital the other night and thought I was miscarring.... my mom started crying. Of course you don't want her to suffer.... completely understandable. I still might go on to miscarry. who knows. All you can do is have u/s's and wait. until you know there is no hope. And if she does miscarry I'd tell her to go to a doctor to have tests run. .... to see why it took her 3yrs to conceive and why she miscarried this one.

[Chickie101]

I have heard of soooo many women not hearing the heartbeat until 9, 10 and 11 weeks and came to have a healthy baby.  Doesn't having a tipped uterus have something to do with it also.  I just want her not to suffer.  She has waited soooooo long.  

[aweeonetolove]

I experienced a missed miscarriage.  I had no pain and my symptoms remained for quite awhile after the baby passed on.  I saw the baby with a heart beating at 6 and 1/2 weeks.  About one week later, I had some brown discharge.  The Dr.'s told me that was normal.  During the next two weeks, my symptoms slowly started to fade.  I went to the Dr. and the baby had stopped developing shortly after my ultrasound.
I seriously hope that your daughter is not experiencing a missed miscarriage.  They are quite rare ~ Only about 1% of pregnant women go through one.  Perhaps she is not 7 weeks along yet.  But if the baby is measuring that length with no heartbeat ~ It doesn't look too good.  She should definitely follow up with a kinder Doctor.  Tell her to keep strong and rely on her faith. All the best!

[Chickie101]

Well that's the problem. She has never had a regular period.  Now in October she only had a few days of spotting and then on the 18th she took a HPT, well a couple of them and they came out positive.  I believe in miracles but mostly God and my daughter is a devout catholic, goes to church all the time.  So we believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will continue to pray.........

[Darkestlight]

Well alot of times people go by their last period  and it isn't always right. We can ovulate at  different times.... its not always set in stone. So If the baby is measuring 7wks 3days with no hb... it doesn't look good, but like i said don't call it over until there is a second u/s. Always have hope. Miracles happen EVERYDAY.

[Chickie101]

By the u/s.  Why?  See I didn't have all that stuff back then.  She is my youngest and will be 30.

[Darkestlight]

There is something called a missed miscarriage it's where your body doesn't realized the embryo has died and never dispells it. You need a D &C for that. I'm not saying thats the case here and im not a doctor and i didn't see the u/s, but I'd definitely get another u/s before calling it all over. My question is is she 7wks 3days by u/s or by Last period.... that makes a difference.

[Chickie101]

She is 7wk3 days according to him.  Yeah he didn't even tell her we'll schedule another appt.  This was very strange to me since it was her first appt and u/s, not to mention it wasn't like she went in there complaining of anything other than hunger, fatigue and weight gain, the normal pregnancy signs.  

[Darkestlight]

I've had many doctors with no bedside manners... its a shame. How far along is she supposed to be? I'd definitely get a new doctor if he doesn't want to see her back. A lot of times hb arent visible till 6 or 7wks