Aa
o... m... g... .................. ...b ...f ...p.
Oh. My. Gosh.
You have got to be kidding me. We took plan B. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!! WE ARE SEPARATING!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh... Could there maybe possibly be hcg in me from Kendall over a year ago??? Please tell me it could be. I don't really feel pregnant at all.
Holy crapola. What am I going to do?? I am moving out at the end of this month. We can't get along. Our home environment has become so toxic and so abusive, I have to get my kids out. I cannot stay the way he is right now. And we took plan B because he said even if we can work it out and be together, he absolutely wants no more kids (boy, was that a slap in the face! i had no idea he felt that way).
Someone please calm me down and tell me we're going to be ok and this is going to be wonderful and a blessing... hurry before I cry.
You have got to be kidding me. We took plan B. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!! WE ARE SEPARATING!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh... Could there maybe possibly be hcg in me from Kendall over a year ago??? Please tell me it could be. I don't really feel pregnant at all.
Holy crapola. What am I going to do?? I am moving out at the end of this month. We can't get along. Our home environment has become so toxic and so abusive, I have to get my kids out. I cannot stay the way he is right now. And we took plan B because he said even if we can work it out and be together, he absolutely wants no more kids (boy, was that a slap in the face! i had no idea he felt that way).
Someone please calm me down and tell me we're going to be ok and this is going to be wonderful and a blessing... hurry before I cry.
Oh no Hun, glad you are able to get out before the abuse gets worse. I hope things pick up with your job soon! You are doing a great job as a mom for yor kids! I am sure you will figure things out and we are here for emotional support!
Thanks for the encouragement, Mamas. I'm starting to feel a lot more optimistic about the baby... but as for the relationship, not so much. I still haven't told him. Still don't know how or when.
AP, there is no way he will go to counseling, or even read a book aimed at helping. I've begged him for 2 years now (when I still believed it was both of us and our miscommunication style). He is technically "evicting" me and "terminating" my "unpaid tenancy". It's not the first time he's tried it, it's just the first time I've signed his contract (literally) and am not begging him to let me stay for the sake of the kids/our relationship.
He has been emotionally and psychologically abusive for the last 5 years and it's starting down the road to physical now. More and more out of control. When I finally realized it, I began to take back control of myself and stop playing into his mind games. But the more "together" I became, the more "unhinged" he became--his house of cards was falling down around him. I love him, but he needs help. And he's made it clear that he disagrees and will not get help in any way.
So all I can do is walk by faith. I have no idea how I'm going to pull off being alone, especially since my job is commission only and hasn't started paying yet... But I don't have a choice anymore. I can't put these kids through it. I won't.
So there ya have it! Ugh. I wish there was an instruction manual for this... lol!
AP, there is no way he will go to counseling, or even read a book aimed at helping. I've begged him for 2 years now (when I still believed it was both of us and our miscommunication style). He is technically "evicting" me and "terminating" my "unpaid tenancy". It's not the first time he's tried it, it's just the first time I've signed his contract (literally) and am not begging him to let me stay for the sake of the kids/our relationship.
He has been emotionally and psychologically abusive for the last 5 years and it's starting down the road to physical now. More and more out of control. When I finally realized it, I began to take back control of myself and stop playing into his mind games. But the more "together" I became, the more "unhinged" he became--his house of cards was falling down around him. I love him, but he needs help. And he's made it clear that he disagrees and will not get help in any way.
So all I can do is walk by faith. I have no idea how I'm going to pull off being alone, especially since my job is commission only and hasn't started paying yet... But I don't have a choice anymore. I can't put these kids through it. I won't.
So there ya have it! Ugh. I wish there was an instruction manual for this... lol!
Hi Jess, i hope everything works out for you. Like AP said everything happens for a reason and maybe this baby will bring you back together with your partner or maybe the baby will be the guiding strength to help you get through this tough time. I hope you can relax and see the bright side to this. Good luck xoxox
Hey Jess...Everything happens for a reason. My marriage was going down the hill and I had no idea until after I became pg w Jeremy. All the while fighting for my marriage we had no Idea of the battle that laid ahead with my complicated pg w Jeremy it was a freakn nightmare but here we are a Jeremy is 1 and dh and I have never been stronger! We lost so much together so many m/cs and the idea that after finally getting pg w Jeremy that we almost called it quits and even last yr! Woo we did it we hung in there after countless hrs in therapy seriously we were going sometimes 2xs a week it was that crazy and then w Jeremy's pg I was doubling up on my own therapy. Honestly tho I wouldnt' have traded things for the world it's made me a better woman. Umm fyi bc is never 100% ! U should know that! I'm here if you need to talk! Good luck and congrats! hang in there it's all worth it!
Hugs,
AP
Hugs,
AP
aw girls, thank you so much for your encouragement. i know i'm going to need it. when i start getting scared, i'm going to come back to this thread and just keep reading your words over and over, heh...
part of the problem in our situation is that i have allowed myself to become very isolated, so as far as a physical support network, there simply isn't one. but you are right, tasia, that i have a great one with the ladies on here! you guys are the best, i mean that.
lbb, i think i am like you in a lot of ways, lol. and yes, the stress does get the best of me sometimes, but you are also right that this is going to actually help me through. it will give me something joyous to focus on, and i won't have the luxury of being able to mope or wallow, because the weight of caring for and supporting three kids will not allow time for weakness.
i'm terrified to tell him. should i wait until i'm gone? or tell him now? or...? i don't know what to do.
part of the problem in our situation is that i have allowed myself to become very isolated, so as far as a physical support network, there simply isn't one. but you are right, tasia, that i have a great one with the ladies on here! you guys are the best, i mean that.
lbb, i think i am like you in a lot of ways, lol. and yes, the stress does get the best of me sometimes, but you are also right that this is going to actually help me through. it will give me something joyous to focus on, and i won't have the luxury of being able to mope or wallow, because the weight of caring for and supporting three kids will not allow time for weakness.
i'm terrified to tell him. should i wait until i'm gone? or tell him now? or...? i don't know what to do.
Wow! Congratulations! I don't think it could be the hcg from a year ago because I have had to take pregnancy test a few times to see if I was pregnant in the last year and they all came out negative. It is definitely a blessing to have children and this baby may have been unplanned but can be a blessing in disguise. I'm sorry to hear about you and your husband but I'm sure you are a strong woman and have a great support system with the ladies on here and at home. Good luck hun! If you ever need to vent we are all here!
You will be amazing!! You were such a support for me during my pregnancy that I know you are strong enough to handle this. And who knows, the little one may be just the blessing you need to help you and your kids get over this rough patch in life. It will give you new focus and a reson to be sure to take care of yourself!! Bc if you are anything like me sometimes I let stress get the best of me.
Congratulations and be sure to surround yourself with positive people and leave the negative ones alone!
We will be here with you!!
Congratulations and be sure to surround yourself with positive people and leave the negative ones alone!
We will be here with you!!
congratulations on the bfp!!!! I am not sure about the hcg (I don't think it would still be lingering around) but I suggest you see a doc to confirm your bfp. This may be a stressful time for you but I truely think it's a blessing and that you and your children will be alright.
i am sorry to hear about your marriage. toxic environments are definitely not healthy for you nor your children. i think your hubby was very selfish in not communicating his feelings about not wanting more kids. i do know that sometimes plan B is not effective and definitely not a method of contraception. perhaps he needs to double up on the condom or get fixed if he doesn't want anymore children.
Again, congrats and I wish you all the best. everything will work out. attach yourself to your supports and continue being the amazing mom that you are. HUGZ
i am sorry to hear about your marriage. toxic environments are definitely not healthy for you nor your children. i think your hubby was very selfish in not communicating his feelings about not wanting more kids. i do know that sometimes plan B is not effective and definitely not a method of contraception. perhaps he needs to double up on the condom or get fixed if he doesn't want anymore children.
Again, congrats and I wish you all the best. everything will work out. attach yourself to your supports and continue being the amazing mom that you are. HUGZ
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