Sad

[naryashadow]

This weekend has been the hardest out of my pregnancy. As I have posted before, I had an ailing grandfather that I love dearly and Sunday God finally ended his suffering and took him home. He was barely in his 60's. I'm glad he is no longer in pain, but I am deeply saddened at the loss because he is really the only real grandfather I had, and because my little boy will not have the chance to know him as his big sister has. He wanted so badly to hold out until Colin was born so he could at least hold him once before he went, but his body just could not handle it. He was a great man, one that could show nothing but kindness towards others even if they were completely rotten. Just meeting him once would be enough for one to always remember him. It didn't matter who you were, his great grandchild, his grandkid, his biological/adopted kids, even people that marry into the family or are close friends, he would treat everyone like they were his own child which makes it feel like I lost not only my grandfather, but a parent as well. My husband, who did not expect to be affected by his passing, is almost taking it as hard as I am. We both want to do something to honor him with our son, make it so that he is a part of him even though he is not physically here with us any longer. Our first thought was adding his middle name into our sons name, making it Zachary Colin Vernon, Vernon being my grandfather's middle name, but I am being told giving him 3 names on top of his last name might get confusing legally so we are not sure about it. Our other idea was going to Build a Bear and as his first bear get him one in an Army uniform and name him Charles Vernon. (My grandfather fought in Vietnam, where he was exposed to Agent Orange without being told until weeks after the fact which is where his deep roots of illness began) All in all I'm not sure what to do but I want my grandfather to be a part of his life because he was such a huge part in mine. If  any of you ladies have any suggestions, opinions etc, please share. I welcome each one.

[wifenmomto6]

I hope u view my post. I can totally relate to your story. My mom passed July 11, 2000. At that time my oldest daughter was 1 yr old. I miss her dearly. Everyday she crosses my mind. I wanted to honor her in a special way. I wish she could see my family, especially my 9 year old who looks so much like her and me. When she was born I named her after my mom. I named her Kelsey Isabel. My mom's name was Isabel. My daughter loves the idea of having her name because she was so special to me. I have tons of pictures and stories that I share with my family. Telling them about her makes it easier for me. The pain will never go away but I can tell u it does get easier to handle with time. Best wishes to u and Ur family

[naryashadow]

Thank you all, it truly has been a hard week for me. I'm glad that I am not the only one out there that thinks such a long name would be alright. That was the main thing bothering me.

[Heatherm4]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grandpa will be there in spirit and if you believe in that kind of stuff then I'm sure your son will see your grandpa around. They say children are open to that stuff and see things we don't.
I think 2 middle names is fine. I myself have 2 and gave my son 2 as well. If his last name is going to be hyphenated then it may make it a little too much but I think it's a great way to honor someone you love.

[jennkenn2000]

Im so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my uncle. He was to me like your grandfather was to you. Like a father figure to me. It was soooo hard and it still is. I am 33 weeks having a boy as well. Ke'Sean Aaron Lee. I have chosen two middle names as well aaron for my boyfriends middle name and lee for my father who passed and uncle who passed. I want u to know y'all r in my prayers. I TRULY FEEL YOUR PAIN...

[Ayeshaislovedbyall]

Sorry for your loss keep your head up

[Lesley27]

im sorry about your Grandpa as well, and i think you should include his name... all my brothers kids have 2 middle names and its totally do able and i think its a really nice way to honor his memory <3

[naryashadow]

Thanks much baby1. I know exactly what you mean by this all, for the longest he was in such terrible condition. Living on an oxygen tank, unable to walk thanks to gout and the water weight that just kept forming on his body, his heart was pooling with blood instead of pumping it, and on top of it all he had accumulated diabetes from being exposed to AO in Nam. The last few years have been so hard to watch, and every year the doctor would say that it was his last but he kept going none the less. Now that he is gone, its so surreal. At times I break down over it even though like you said I just wanted his suffering to end, and other times I still feel like I will walk into that house and there he will be. I totally agree that Carpenter can be used for a girl as well, so definitely go with it if that is what you want. As for your other grandfather, I hope he gets to see your little girl and build that dollhouse(or at least get her one) like he wants. I know my Poppy wanted to see Colin so bad, but as I said his body just could not handle it. The way he went was just terrible. I was there after, but they wanted me there before, and after hearing how he went, I am glad I was not there to see it. I don't think I could have handled it. It was hard enough sitting in front of his chair seeing him lifeless until the mortician came, but at the same time for the first time in years he finally looked like he was at peace. That was all anyone could hope for. Thanks so much for your opinion. Grandfathers are some of the most wonderful beings, cherish the time you have with yours, you won't regret it.

[brit0585]

First off I am so sorry for your loss. It reminds me of my grandpa who passed away almost 12 years ago. He got to meet his first great grand child is all and we have a picture of my grandpa, my dad, my brother in law, and my nephew all together! It is hard when they are such wonderfully nice people. But like you said the Lord has him in a better place now and he is pain free!!! That is what is important. It was the same with my grandfather who near the end you almost wish they would pass so you dont have to see them suffer any longer. It is very difficult to see someone suffer but my grandpa is in heaven and I know I will see him again which I cant wait. I also have wanted to try and figure a way to use his middle name in my baby's name. We are having a girl this time but I think even if we have a girl next time we will still use it (it is Carpenter which I think can go either way). We are dealing with my other grandfather right now that is not doing very well and hasnt for a while. I was blessed to have him at my wedding last June and that was the only time I got teary eyed was seeing him there because he had been in and out of the hospital. I keep telling him "You cant go anywhere until this little girl is born!" He was so excited when he found out I was having a girl because my sisters had all boys.. 5 total between the 2 of them. He said "oh good now I can make a doll house." :) I only have 6 more weeks to go thankfully!

I dont think it matters if a child has 2 middle names though. Its what you picked for your child and that makes them that much more different than any other. I think using his name is a great way to incorporate your grandfather into your child's life because it will be with him forever!!