feeling a little depression

[chiquita416]

I need to get it out and this is the only place I can think of since no one on here knows me. I think my mom kinda gets the feeling I'm depressed she just doesn't know why. I can't tell her cuz I feel stupid for even feeling like this. I'm 23 a single mother of 2 and I'm 27 weeks pregnant. My first born has a different dad from the last 2 who share the same dad. It just didn't work out. I'm not sure if it was me or what but it just didn't work. I was one of those kids that grew up too fast. I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 18 which was my oldest daughters father.. I started working at 16 and went to nail school and high school usually all 3 on the same day. Anyways I grew up wanting to go to college get married like every other normal person. I'm usually pretty determined. But after high school and after everything I went through in high school things just started going down hill.. now 5yrs later I get on fb and I see my friends married engaged and with their families and stuff.. it gets me depressed it always has even before the pregnancy.. that 2 kids later I had never been on my dream date or know what it is to be in love someone. N now with the 3rd pregnancy I just feel pathetic..

Sorry I wrote so much I just needed to vent...

[chiquita416]

Thanks!! It helps someone knows what I'm feeling.. and yes child#3 is the last one I can't physically carry anymore I'm surprised the doctor hasn't put me on bed rest.. then again he doesn't know I wale up at 4am to go to work and don't go to sleep till 10 or 11 cuz of school work..

[chiquita416]

Thanks!! It helps someone knows what I'm feeling.. and yes child#3 is the last one I can't physically carry anymore I'm surprised the doctor hasn't put me on bed rest.. then again he doesn't know I wale up at 4am to go to work and don't go to sleep till 10 or 11 cuz of school work..

[4slenderthread]

Just because you may not love your life right now does not mean you don't love your children, I understand that. Pregnancy can be the 'poster child' for depression, I remember! It sounds as though you feel you got left out or just a bit 'ripped off' by the way life happened to you. I went through the same thing. I had 3 daughters with two different fathers and I didn't have the soccer ball mom type of life either. Until my girls got older (and I got wiser!) I didn't have any prince charming's in my life either. Eventually I got married to a wonderful guy, (and still am!)  Whatever I may have 'missed out' on, I didn't bother looking back with regret. I just made sure I stopped at daughter #3! :-)  It can be better ... just hold your head high and surround yourself with loyal friends! Be kind to yourself ... Take care!

[chiquita416]

Thanks.. I think its just all the stress from working being in college and having two kids. Don't get me wrong I love my girls they are my world its just I hate the looks people give me like poor girl or how does she juggle everything or shes so young.. n it frustrates me cuz I don't feel that cuz I'm 23 I need to be out partying or nothing.. I'm still in school n I'm working n I'm managing my household like seriously I feel like superwoman sometimes n other times I hate being superwoman but not cuz of the kids just the loneliness.

[Lesley27]

That doesnt sound pathetic... life can be stressful and being a mom in general can be stressful too... but being a mom is such a blessing and can be the most rewarding part of your life! you dont need a man in your life to feel proud of who you are... focus on what you do have... 2 beautiful children with another on the way! thats something to be proud of! being a mom is hard work and if you focus on being the best that you can be thats something right there! and you are so young still you have lots of time to go for your dreams... take it day by day for now but dont give up your dreams, if you want to go to college or whatever then make sure you get there, and as far as finding a great guy who cares about you and who will care about your kids just as much... dont give up on that either... there are good men out there!  but dont ever feel that being a mom isnt anything less than amazing! thats the toughest most rewarding job of your life :)