stressed and venting!!

[Daphni]

Im about 31 weeks and my boyfriend and i ( have been together for 3 years) are extrememly excited about our 1st together.  his parents are also excited and my mom is coming around.  however... i haven't spoken to my father since i told him we were pregnant back in february when he told me i was a disappointment to him and my baby was nothing but a mistake. i seen him for the first time at a family gathering yesterday for mothers day and he couldn't even say one word to me.  what makes this even harder is my parents are still married and my mother doesn't wanna get in the middle of this. i don't blame her but common!!! to top everything off i ran into some trouble 3 years ago with a loan i had on my car and they bought my car from me to pay my loan off so it wouldn't ruin my credit and i'm slowly paying them back which i have been paying extra towards the loan for the last 2 years to make up for my mistake.  but it's a 2 door convertible and i can't fit the carseat in the back and my father refuses to give me the title to sell it so i can get a car that will work for my child. the only way he will give me the title is if i pay it off completely, which is next to impossible in the next  8 weeks.  i just don't understand how he can let his first born granddaughter be so unsafe!!! i so just wanna drop the car off on his doorstep and tell him to keep the damn thing but i know that will not help the situation at all.... what else can i do im so disappointed and upset with him...thanks for listening girls it feels good to vent and get some advice from the outside!

[4slenderthread]

   Baby1forme made a very good suggestion regarding your car and a new loan. I would certainly give it a try!

   I am so very sorry about the way in which your father is behaving. Ordinarily I would suggest taking a seat, and having a conversation with your father. But at this point, he sounds completely disinterested. Only you can look back over the years and decide if you and your father have any long standing issues that he may be holding onto.
   First of all, you need to be completely understanding and honest with yourself. Your dad is behaving as though he is irritated and disappointed with you.Only you would know if he has a reason to feel this way ... and why. Are there any other grandchildren in your family, or are you the first to have one?? I 'm sorry that you father is behaving the way that he is ... but for some reason, he believes in the way he is acting. If you don't know why or recall what would set him off this way, then I would try to find out why. You always have the option of speaking to your mother. I would hope that she would tell you what is going on. If she knows how much this situation is affecting you, she may then decide to share your father's aggravation with you. I would hope so! Are you certain that your dad doesn't have a problem with being pregnant and unmarried? I know that if it was one of my daughters, I wouldn't exactly be thrilled. But I wouldn't hold a grudge. I would get over it! I don't know how old your parents are ... but your father may be disappointed in your life choice ... having children before marriage - and let's face it, there is nothing you can do about that!
   When and if you discover what has your father so unsettled, then it may be a good time to try and talk to one another. Whatever this is all about, it should be a happy time for everyone! As a mother-to-be, you should be looking forward to the arrival of your baby. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to take care of yourself first. Until you CAN actually do something about your fathers behavior, you need to work at your own well being and happiness! Feel free to message me any time if you need to chat with someone! Bye for now ....

[brit0585]

Sounds like the only thing you are going to be able to do is try and get a loan from the bank. It has been a while since that happened and you may have a high interest rate but at least you can pay him off and then get something different instead. He doesnt need to know where they money came from. I am sure he will figure it out but at least he will be paid off. IT is hard to understand why he is acting like this but my moms dad was very mad at her when he found out she was pregnant also. Although my parents didnt tell anyone until after they were married but my mom was 5 months pregnant when they got married. He eventually go over it and I am sure your dad will too when that little baby is around. I seem to think that babies make everyone happy and they cant hardly turn them down once they see them... It was the exact same with my husband and my puppy I got lol!! :) He said I am not getting attached and he loves my dog who is now a year and a half old... With time the situation will get better but I think the only thing about the car you can do is get a loan thru a bank.