Husband wants to have another

[kristin928]

I had my baby June 1st. My husband wants to start trying again right away. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I know it may be hard to conceive since I am breastfeeding. I'm wondering what happens to your body when you are pregnant just months after the first child. What are the risks? Anyone out there who has had kids close together have any advice?

[Marietta2000]

Kristin, you have a lot to think about.  Much of it really comes down to you, and how you will feel, as you are the one carrying the baby.  But also remember, just because you got pregnant quickly the first time, does not guarantee this will happen in the future.  Some people do suffer secondary infertility, or take much longer to conceive subsequent children.  I had my son first attempt, and my daughter third, but haven't been so lucky trying for a third, so you can't ever be assured of these things.  Funnily enough, after having each of my children, I had an overwhelming desire to be pregnant again, so maybe your husband is having some male form of this!!!  It's great he loves being a dad and all, but there are many things to consider, more so for you.  I preferred a small space between my kids, and looking at them now, my daughter just two, and my son four, they are still fairly close in age, and great friends!    Like Nola said, pregnancy does take it's toll on the body, even if you may not be conscious of it.  If you're having doubts about it, just talk it over with him, tell him your worries about being pregnant again so soon, the breastfeeding issue, and give yourself some room.  Goodness, even if you were to get pregnant when your little one is six or seven months old, your children would still be close in age!!  Don't put pressure on yourself, and enjoy the beautiful wee baby you have right now!!  .....About my mum, you're right, I also couldn't recover, I'm sure.  The terrible thing was that she was never allowed to hold or touch her beautiful boy, even though the nurses took him out of his incubator to feed him.  He was born two months premature, and his lungs weren't developed, but he was a good weight.  He was born 1969, and in this era, the medical profession really didn't have any consideration for the emotional well-being of patients.  My Dad also couldn't touch him, and my grandparents couldn't even visit him.  Not even a photo was allowed.  We have absolutely nothing to remember him by.  After he died, my mother was still in hospital, she almost died from a haemorrage, and she was put in a ward with the new mothers and their babies!!!!  Just awful, I don't know how she got through it.
Anyway, good luck with your decision.  I'm sure you and your hubby will come to a compromise.  Whatever, babies are wonderful, and we are blessed to have them!!

[nola0805]

My sister conceived again when her first was 3 months old (unplanned).  She was 34 at the time and had no problems at all with the pregnancy or birth.  My niece and nephew are exactly one year apart and are now 6 and 7.  My sister had stopped breastfeeding right before she became pregnant, but I do know that you can safely breastfeed while pregnant - the only issue is making sure you take in enough calories and fluids and it can change the taste of you milk.  I know of several women on the pregnancy forum have also had healthy pregnancies close together, but pregnancy does take a toll on your body (and I cannot imagine dealing with morning sickness while caring for a newborn), and given the fact that you conceived quickly, it might make some sense to wait a little while.  I would talk to your ob about it.

Also, my sister would not change a thing now and loves having her two so close in age, but I will not lie - that first year was really, really hard for her - taking care of a new baby while her first still needed so much - it was a ton of work.

Good luck in whatever you choose and congrats on your new bundle of joy.  

[kristin928]

Marietta, thanks so much for your response. I'm 32, so I do want to have another soon, but how soon? I was very surprised about my husband wanting another so soon because he was unsure about the first. We had a great birthing experience so I thought it was just the endorphines when my hubby asked me when we could start trying again on the way home from the hospital!!!! But he is still enthusiastic about it, so I want to gather up more information. He says he wants the kids to be close in age. It is actually really cute because he isn;t pressuring me, he just loves being a daddy. :) I'm concerned about what it would do to my body. Also, can I handle having morning sickness, and everything else that comes with pregnancy and take care of my little angel? What about breastfeeding? What are the stats on how many people continue breastfeeding once pregnant? What are the chances of miscarriage? We conceived very quickly with our first, but you nver know how long it will take. I just have so many questions and I can't seem to find any answers online. I have a obgyn appointment next week, but I am curious about what other mothers have experienced.


That is so sad what happend to your mom. If something happened like that it would just crush me to pieces. I'm not sure how long it would take me to recover.

[Marietta2000]

A lot of things come into this - firstly your age?  If you're in your mid thirties, I wouldn't waste too much time, as TTC gets harder, especially after 35.  But, of course, other considerations have to come into it as well.  Your baby is still so young - do you really want to be pregnant again so soon?  The age gap between my son and daughter is two and a half years, and I was very happy with that.  I wanted time to enjoy my first born, to be able to enjoy having him on his own, before bringing in another child.  About conceiving, I know women who have gotten pregnant whilst breastfeeding, but I thought it was somewhat harder.  The risks, I'm not entirely sure.  My mother had placenta previa, and her second son died at two days old due to this dangerous condition.  Her specialist told her it could have been caused by her body not having time to return to it's pre-pregnancy state, as her second child was conceived quickly after having her firstborn.  I'm not sure if there is much truth in this, but that is what he said.  Why does your husband want to start trying again so quickly???  Personally, I would wait a bit, unless you have any fertility problems.