NO HEARTBEAT - CRUSHED

[mrsjermainjackson]

Hi all,  I am in desparate need of advice.  I just had my ultrasound today and I am supposed to be 8w5d.  There was a sac, yolk sac and fetal pole, but tech said that baby stopped growing around 7 wks and there was no heartbeat.  Dr came in and said I could either wait to miscarry naturally or have a d&c TOMORROW????  Omg, that is so soon.  They said that the pregnancy is NON VIABLE!!!   I have read many stories about misdiagnosed miscarriages and I felt like I wanted to wait a little while.  In the mean time, I did more bloodwork, which came back 41050 at 8w5d, up from 7583 at 6w0d.  I found an hcg calculator online and it says my doubling time is 186 hours or 7.8 days.  Thats way too slow isnt it?  I also had very low progesterone 2.3 at the beginning and they put me on suppositories 200mg 3x a day.  At my 6 week appt I was told that my progesterone was 25.4, my hcg was going up and they saw a gest sac and yolk sac and everything was moving along perfectly.  NOW THIS!!!  I literally felt like I was dreaming.  I finally just stopped crying and have a splitting headache.  I called the dr back and asked if there was any chance that if I waited a week or 2 that this could change and she just kept saying it was a non viable pregnancy.  She would not elaborate as to why, besides the lack of heartbeat.  I also had blood around the gestational sac.  
I have a terrible history of miscarriages.  This will be my 8th.  In all the posts I have read, I have NEVER heard of so many.  I also have one child, a beautiful healthy 5 year old boy.  With all of my previous miscarriages they never made it past 5 weeks with the exception of the last mc which turned out to be a partial mole.  That one lasted to 7w3d.  I only used progesterone with my son, so I thought that was the problem and started suppositories with this pregnancy immediately.  I thought that if I made it past 5 weeks that I would be in the clear.  I am just so confused and in such agony.  My husband and my son are keeping me strong but I am hurting so much.  
So my question to everyone is, should I stop taking the progesterone suppositories since it will only prolong the miscarriage, and wait to mc on my own? Should I go in for the D & C? Should I go for a second opinion and get another ultrasound?  I made an appointment with my old doctor to get a 2nd opinion but it will cost me 250 cause I dont have insurance.  Is there ANY HOPE AT ALL!!!  Even if I miscarry on my own I need to collect the tissue for testing.  they recommended  d&c so that they can make sure they get all of the tissue themselves so that they can rule out another molar pregnancy.  This is crazy. PLZ HELP

[mrsjermainjackson]

Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement.  It really meant a lot to me to have the support of women who have been through this or just know what I am going through.  

Well after going through all of my stages, first grief, then denial/hope for different outcome, then pure anger, I believe I have now come to the acceptance stage.  I have decided to do the d & c as soon as possible so that I can begin to move forward and heal.  I stopped taking the progesterone, I will save them for my next pregnancy.  I also need to make sure this was not another molar pregnancy.  (I thought they were supposed to be very rare to begin with, much less have 2)  I am hoping that it is not.  I am still extremely sad and cry at the drop of a hat but I will be ok, I have a wonderful support system from my family and the wonderful women here.  You would think I would be used to this by now.  Thank God I have my son.  I want to wrap myself around him and never let go.  I feel blessed through all this that I am even able to get pregnant.  

So anyway, the hospital called me this morning to make an appointment for the procedure so I am just waiting for a call back.  It will be a matter of days.    Then we can look forward to trying again.  Thank you again everyone and I am very sorry for all of your pain that you have gone through also.  I wish everyone the best!!  Oh and sorry for all the double posts, I was desperately trying to make sure someone heard me.  Thank you!

[Frances0730]

I'm so so so sorry for your loss.  More than likely, the doctor is right.  If you are sure about your conception date, then if no heartbeat was seen at 8w5d, the pregnancy is not viable.  The doctor should be more understanding about your situation and that a D&C the next day is too soon!  I know it must be hard, but don't give up all hope.  You will carry another baby to full term, you already have one, it can definitely happen again!  Stay strong and I'm sorry again for your loss.  

[kmcarino]

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I have just gone through a similar situation.  I was pregnant with two and one of them was a lot smaller than the other.  At my first ultrasound they did nto see anything in the second sac, not even the yolk.  At the next ultrasound, they saw the yolk sac, the fetal pole, AND the ehart beat.  They could not hear the heart beat yet though.  I was surprised since I thought it had not developed from teh beginning.  Even though it was still smaller, I thought it would be ok.  I was 6 weeks 5 days at that ultrasound and the smaller one measured 6 week one day which was a week later than what it measured the week before so there was a lot of hope for the second one!  At my 8 week ultrasound last week, the doctor did not see anything in the second sac and did not see the heart beat and told me that the baby had passed.  I am guessing it passed sometime during the 7th week.  I will have my next ultrasound in two days and am praying for a miracle even though I know that it has got to be impossible for the baby to have gone from having a heart beat to nothing and then back to being fine so there is very little hope if any at all.
I am sorry to go on and on about my situation.  I feel so sad reading your post.  If you are for sure on yoru conception date, that you are 8 and a half weeks and they do not see the heart beat, I think the doctor is probably right about it not being viable.  But maybe you should give it one more week taking the progesterone and have another ultrasound just to be absolutely sure.  I have heard that some women's babies do not show the heart beat until later than most people.  Since they see everything else I am not sure I would stop the progesterone just yet.  Whether you have a D&C or wait to miscarry naturally is a very personal decision.
I am so sorry again and I will keep you in my prayers.

[waitin4baby]

I'm so sorry to hear your story. My sister in law had almost 20 miscarriages over 7 years before finally being able to carry twins to term. If you think its too fast, maybe see if you can get a second opinion, or wait 1 week just to confirm with another ultrasound. Everyone is different, having a d&c so they can get the tissue and you can be on your way to healing, seems like the best option, but that is a personal choice.