Upset with doctor...any advice?

[kmcarino]

I am very upset with my doctor right now though and I don't know what to do.  I don't even want her to deliver this baby anymore.  She was so rude to me last night.  She obviously is pissed that I canceled my induction event hough she told me that it was completely up to me.  She has rescheduled my induction for next Wed. the 23rd.  She does not think I should go past 41 weeks, which would be next Thursday.  She is concerned about his size and because my last baby was small and he was high risk.  Basically, there is no medical reason to induce this baby.  His growth has been completely normal.  We have had several ultrasounds and he is going to be a normal sized baby.  Nothin is wrong with anything so why do we have to induce?  I want to experience spontaneous labor and I want him to decide when he is meant to be born.  I did not cancel my induction for her to reschedule it.  I asked her....ok, well do I have a choice on the day?  She said "No you don't have a choice.  Wed. June 23rd."  I said "well, we could compromise and do it at 41 weeks which is Thursday."  She said no.  I told her that that would give him one more full day to come naturally and it is a better day for us.  She never gave an explanation as to why not Thursday.  She intentionally was not going to do an internal exam on me, which is the reason I went 45 minutes away for the appt to have that done and see if there had been any progress.  I asked her "What about my internal exam?"  She said "There is no point to do it now since we are not doing anything."  What does that mean?  I told her that the internal exam is why I came to the appt. and I wanted to see if I was more effaced and she said that it didn't matter.  She also said that since I said I was not having real contractions that there was no point in checking dilation.  She finally said "OK.  I'll check you."  Then she just said that there hadn't really been any change, which I can't believe what she says anyway.  I asked, so 25% effaced?  And she said "Well, I called you 50% last week."  I said, "No, last week you told me there had been no change and the week before you told me 25%.  She doesn't remember anything, including what happened with my first child and why it happened.  I was high risk that whole pregnancy with a small uterus.  My high risk doctor was worried that the placewnta may separate since he was small and slowed in growth.  She felt that i9t was safer to induce me earl;y at 38 weeks five days.  I am not seeing a high risk doctor this time....there is no reason too.  
I told my doctor that I am really excited to be able to experience spontaneous labor.  I also said that I did nto want to decide when he would be born and she said "You're not.  I am."  They tone she was using with me was horrible.  She was so rude and so cold.  She told me last week that I was not high risk and that the decision was completely up to us and I should go talk to my husband.  Now she acts like this.  At the end of the appt, I said,' So you have concerns based on my last pregnancy since he was small and there was a placental concern last time?>  She said yes.  I said "Even though this has been a normal pregnancy and his growth has been tracked and is normal."  I told her that I did not feel that there was a medical reason to induce.  Even though I wasn't happy about it, I tried to compromise for Thursday but she wouldn't have it.  She wants to control this thing and I don't want her to control when the baby is born when there is no good reason to induce.  What if I just don't show up next Wed?  What if my husband will be away which he will by the way?  Then what?  I am going to talk to my cousin today who works in Labor and Delivery at the hospital and ask her if I have any options.  I really hope he decides to come over the weekend, or at least before Wed. so I don't have to deal with this again next week.  Plys if it is over the weekend, it will be another doctor delivering him.  I don't want her to get the money for it.  She should not have treated me the way she did.  I was not rude but she was.
Sorry this is so long.  I needed to vent.  Any opinions?

[Melka76]

I wish you the best - it does not sound like it will go without stress for you unless you go tonight.... I doubt you will be able to find another dr being this far along. I have read  issues with going over - I am not sure of how far over but I have heard 10days is as far as they will let you at my practice because of the risks the first poster stated.  But I am sure different drs, hosptials and such will all have different views of it and times.  I would think that you could speak to the head of the department when you arrive at the hospital - explain your feelings and thoughts and share with them the way you were treated... maybe they can have a different doctor work with you .... best of luck.

[kmcarino]

Thanks for all of your advice.  I didn't read this until today.  I agree with you.  I think it would be too much for me to switch at this point, but if it comes to Wed. with no spontaneous labor, I don't knwo what I'll do.  We'll have to see for sure if my husband would be better off taking me Thursday, which I think he would but his work schedule changes a lot.  If I do end up going in on Wed. I am going to try to slow labor down as much as possible.  I will arrive as late as possible too.  I am 45 minutes away.  She was very unprofessional and I really am hoping for this baby to come while she is away but there are only four days left and nothing has happened yet.  I am getting discouraged.  I don't want to be induced.  I wish I could just be excited and calm just awaiting my labor but in stead I have a limit of how long I have before induction will happen.  Ugh!

[ALT76]

There is no danger in carrying your baby until at least 42 weeks!  In fact, my doula and birthing teacher says it can even go longer but most doctors are too scared of liability.  I am SOOOO angry reading your post!  My OBGYN is the head of the dept and has delivered over 7,000 babies, and he has no problem whatsoever letting me wait until 42 weeks.  I think if anything the above poster said was common before 42 weeks, I seriously doubt he would let me wait that long.

This is the LAST thing you need at a time when you shouldn't be stressing and just focusing on a positive, NATURAL (meaning non-induced...regardless of your medication choice) birth!!  WTF!!???!!  YOU HAVE A SAY!!  IT IS YOUR BODY!!!  Personally, I wouldn't want that women anywhere NEAR me!  I know it would be extremely stressful, but is there any way at this point you can switch doctors?  Regardless, I would absolutely and positively cancel the induction - TELL them your husband will be out of town and it is NOT possible.  If this b itch refuses, then simply don't show up!  F 'em!  They can't MAKE you have this baby!  I've read plenty accounts on other forums about women not showing up for their inductions.  It's been done.

You know, doctors are so concerned about liability, and that's why they induce and that's why they are so quick to do c-sections, and yet c-sections have so many more health risks!  Perhaps you may want to say something to her in a tone that would imply that you may seek legal advice if she insists you induce when there is no medically proven reason to - that might make her listen!  Overall....STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!  I once got in a screaming argument with a GP, and another time fought so badly with the bimbo nurse at my old OBGYN's office that I was sent a letter saying that I had 30 days to find a new doctor.  Doctors do not like when patients stand up for themselves, but it's YOUR body and YOUR baby - YOU HAVE A SAY!!!  I know it's the last thing you should be dealing with right now, and maybe you should let her know that.  Straight up tell her how unprofessional you think she's being, and how she does not have the almightly right to dictate these things just because she's a doctor.  

Good luck!  I'll be checking on you!

[apple5]

I understand wanting to go into labor naturally but you may want to read into the risks of going overterm which are decreased amniotic fluid, decreased blood supply for the baby, higher incidents of traumatic instrumental (forcep) and c-section deliveries., meconium aspiration, and excessive blood loss after delivery.
It sounds like your doctor could have a better bed side manner however i'm sure you and the baby's health are her #1 priority. i hope you go into labor this week on your own, but if you don't i think you should consider the dr's instructions.