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loss

I was supposed to be due June 22.  At 18 weeks my doctor called me to tell me my blood tests showed I had greater than a 50% chance of my baby having Trisomy 18.  We scheduled an ultrasound and an amino for the next day, but when I went for the ultrasound my baby had no heartbeat.  I had had a doctors appointment 5 days prior and my baby had a heartbeat, but at the ultrasound only measured at 14.5 weeks.  I had a D&E 2 days later.  I was told after surgery that I had a little boy, but I never got to hold him or say goodbye,  All I have left is my 10 week ultrasound pictures...you can see his little face...his eyes, nose and mouth. Is something like this happening to anyone else???
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1227139 tn?1462334630
Dearest Trace,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I can't even begin to describe how my heart goes out to you, there are so many things that you must be feeling, (the loss, the trisomy and confusion of which not to say the least).  Just as a few mom's above have mentioned, Trisomys are random (95% of them) and when it involves 13 or 18, (even 21 which is Ds) more then 50% may not be carried to term.  There is nothing you could have done or known to stop it from happening,  I know that nothing I can say here will help alleviate the pain and loss you are feeling but I wanted you to know above all else - it is not your fault and the one thing maybe you can take peace in (even though you didn't get to hold him or say goodbye) is that he is resting and peaceful knowing he has a mommy & daddy who loved him very much before he ever made his presence known.  I have had three losses before this very pregnancy myself so I understand first hand (as many mommy's do) what you are feeling.  If it helps, there is a group here on MedHelp called Baby Dust Buddies - TTC after a loss and one specifically about Loss.  You can find one of them here for when you are ready - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Baby-Dust-Buddies---TTC-and-Pregnancy-after-a-Loss/show/470?camp=msc
Please let me know or any of us know if we can be of help.  If you have any questions about Trisomy's or Loss, I can certainly lend an ear and provide support on the topic.

Much love & support,

Sincerely,
Sandi (Dragon1973)
MedHelp Genetics Community Leader;
Children - Special Needs Community Leader;
Down syndrome Community Leader & Ds Group Forum Founder/Moderator;
MTHFR Group Forum Founder/Moderator;
Pregnancy: June 2011 Community Leader
Helpful - 0
1014822 tn?1338648073
I'm so so sorry you have to go through this. My heart goes out to you!
Helpful - 0
591409 tn?1218886407
Very sorry for your loss!!! We lost our little girl at 19 1/2 weeks. We found out at 17 weeks that she had Trisomy 18, but we knew something wasn't right from the first ultrasound at 12 weeks. She didn't move, in fact she never moved in any ultrasounds, she was tiny and I had huge 'lakes' within my placenta. However she always had a strong heartbeat. I had very strong contractions - so we prepared to miscarry (if you can).  I know how hard of a time this is, and every one mourns there own way - take the time and heal yourself mentally and physically. Your little guy is still with you in your heart. I wanted to start trying again after3 months, but my body must not have been ready - and to be honest I don't think my heart was either (in hindsight). I still had all the hormones raging inside. We are pregnant again with a healthy,active baby now - a year 1/2 later.  Just know that it is extremely common - its a 'fluke' as the genetic counciler told us, along with my GP my husbands gp and my OBGYN. Most people don't talk about it that's all. I know that doesn't make the pain of losing him any easier - but know that there was nothing you or your husband could have done differently. My heart goes out to you... stay strong.
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1439241 tn?1306300511
I am so so sorry for your loss. Keep the faith, I know its not easy.  Blessings

Helpful - 0
1266942 tn?1373038925
I had a miscarriage last year in March and I know the pain you are going through, but you will survive. There is a great group here you may want to join for m/c. The group really helped me get through. Your pain never really goes away you just learn to live again. My prayers are with you. Stay strong and cry when ever  and where ever you want. You have a right to grieve.
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Avatar universal
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how heartbroken you must be during this difficult time. Keep your head up you will be blessed with a healthy baby someday.
Helpful - 0
1559231 tn?1297059408
I am so so sorry for your hearbreak and loss.

Please take it easy on yourself and this is something you had no control over.

God Bless.
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