Dearest Trace,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to describe how my heart goes out to you, there are so many things that you must be feeling, (the loss, the trisomy and confusion of which not to say the least). Just as a few mom's above have mentioned, Trisomys are random (95% of them) and when it involves 13 or 18, (even 21 which is Ds) more then 50% may not be carried to term. There is nothing you could have done or known to stop it from happening, I know that nothing I can say here will help alleviate the pain and loss you are feeling but I wanted you to know above all else - it is not your fault and the one thing maybe you can take peace in (even though you didn't get to hold him or say goodbye) is that he is resting and peaceful knowing he has a mommy & daddy who loved him very much before he ever made his presence known. I have had three losses before this very pregnancy myself so I understand first hand (as many mommy's do) what you are feeling. If it helps, there is a group here on MedHelp called Baby Dust Buddies - TTC after a loss and one specifically about Loss. You can find one of them here for when you are ready -
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Baby-Dust-Buddies---TTC-and-Pregnancy-after-a-Loss/show/470?camp=msc
Please let me know or any of us know if we can be of help. If you have any questions about Trisomy's or Loss, I can certainly lend an ear and provide support on the topic.
Much love & support,
Sincerely,
Sandi (Dragon1973)
MedHelp Genetics Community Leader;
Children - Special Needs Community Leader;
Down syndrome Community Leader & Ds Group Forum Founder/Moderator;
MTHFR Group Forum Founder/Moderator;
Pregnancy: June 2011 Community Leader