How to deal?

[VaniDavila]

Ok, so this pregnancy was such a big suprise to me and my husband and now it's causing problems. Today, he actually took off for the first time and I fear he won't come back. He doesn't understand the stress I am under, especially him being unemployed. The only income we currently have is his unemployment benefits,  but it's still not what we were use to having. He was so used to vacations at any time and now with another baby coming it's impossible. He doesn't understand and wants to visit his parents in Mexico for the 4th time this year. Worst of all is that he wants to go for Christmas and leave us here. His parents are able to come but they refuse to. Now I told him that I was tired of all his cr@p and that I didn't want to put up with his irresponsibility. He always just thinks about himself and he always leaves his daughters out. I feel as if he cares more about his mom, dad and siblings than he does for me and his daughters. Do you think I have every reason to be upset?

[MamaBear0612]

I'm also having some issues with my ex...I do think they just don't "get it" sometimes, that this can be a really different experience for them.  That said, I don't think it excuses them for being selfish. Anyways, just letting you know if you wanna talk that you're not the only one out there dealing with this mess. I mostly try not to think about it; it's easier, and definitely less stressful that way sometimes.

[babytime7]

aww i dont know what to say but he needs to understand that you under a lot of pressure and im sure he knows if this isnt your first pregnancy it would be best if you two sat down and talked about the money issues and try not to get so upset you are carrying a baby dont stress relax yourself and then when you are ready talk to him calmly and help him understand how you feel and that you are hurt because you feel that he's putting his paretns before the family he created with you and that you would like to spend christmas with your husband and two daughters relax your self mostly though to much stress can hurt the baby and you good luck!

[VaniDavila]

Thanks girls!!

Heatherm4- He has been using our savings. That's what is getting me so upset. He doesn't realize the amount of money we have used up from our savings just so that he can enjoy time with his parents. How about the family he helped form? Are we worth nothing? That's what I ask him, but he never responds!! I told him that if he decides to come back he has to limits the number of visits. I don't really know if he even wants to come back to his family. That's what hurts so much that he prefers to pick his vacations than be with his family!!

[mature_enough]

YES. Your feelings are more than acceptable. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Heatherm4]

You completely have the right to be upset. I would be offended if my husband didn't want to spend time with me and my son for Christmas. How does he afford to go to Mexico so many times if he is unemployed?!