Don't know what to do

[bean1506]

My OH has just got in from a night out with his friends and he told me he's chested on me 15 days before I'm due to give birth! I am heartbroken and confused and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do I don't want my son to grow up in a broken family :(

[hunnibunni14]

A lesson learned over the years is that if you forgive him forgive him completely.. don't keep bringing it up or it will be a miserable relationship especially for you but whatever you decide stay strong.. praying everything works out

[bean1506]

Just an update he's still home I must be a mug! But we seem to be getting back on track thank you all for your comments!

[cef1990]

It's never going yo be you! Please don't blame yourself, by blaming yourself and asking him if it's you, you are giving him excuses. (Even if he said it was you thats not a valid excuse, if he was unhappy because of you the adult thing to do would have been to have a conversation with you not cheat). He doesn't deserve for you to feel at fault, he is the one in the wrong not you.
Don't waste your time asking him why or if it was you because you will just find yourself even more hurt by the excuses that he will 'claim' are valid. If you want to see and work it through you just need to make him see how unacceptable his actions are and how bloody lucky he is to be having you give him a chance, don't you chase him for answers, this is his mess he needs to do all the leg work to start to fix it.

As I have said before tho please don't allow him to think this is your fault or your doing by pushing him away,some people don't need a reason to be a inconsiderate b.a.s.t.a.r.d,  just remember you've done nothing wrong.

[bean1506]

I think it is the most disrespectful thing they can do also, I don't know what to do...I want to wake him so we can talk but I don't know what to say, I asked him if it was me and he said no...but why else would he do this if I didn't push him away obviously I have :( thank you very much X

[cef1990]

I honestly feel that a man cheating while his gf/fiance/wife is carrying his child is the most disrespectful thing they can possibly do. Not only are you pregnant but you are very close to labour, unfortunately he may say he's sorry but you weren't a priority to him when he was doing this.
I commend you for wanting to forgive him and try and move on but he has to realise how horrendous his actions are, it will take time but it's possible (I personally couldn't forgive that behaviour).

I also read your comment about you being quite hard to live with lately, please don't ever excuse his actions by blaming the way you've been, nothing you could do would every justify his behaviour so don't think that.

I really wish you the best of luck with everything.

[bean1506]

Thank you zay07
I said this to him he said he would be back by 12am and he wasn't drinking so from 12.30 I was calling him and  it hung until he rang me at 4am saying he had cheated! I said what if I had gone into labour but that's me saying he isn't allowed to see his friends when it isn't at all! I need to have a serious think after I have given birth cause after everything and after the problems I have I don't know if I will be able to let it go 100% it will always be in the back of my mind he's only done this to himself

[bean1506]

Yeah...I definitely will....I tried to speak to him tonight but he was just getting angry with himself but soon as he fell to sleep I've just cried but he will soon realise how close he was to losing us.....I have a baby to worry about now and if he doesn't feel the same then he can walk away I will be happy to bring my son up alone...He needs to understand that the party life has to be put on hold now and start growing up cause we are days away from having a family now...thank you so much for your advice you've really helped a lot! X

[Zay07]

I am so sorry to hear that I can't imagine what you are feeling right now. First off he shouldn't  of gone out with his friends while you are at home and only 15 days away from your due date second ok he was honest with you but still is he stupid how dare he come home and tell you he cheated on you as if it was something to be proud of. Try to calm down font make any decisions right now I know you probably  have many things on your mind but think of your baby and his well being. Once he is born then think about it really  hard to see if it is even worth it to stay with him. I know you don't want your child to grow up in a broken home but do you want to stay in a relationship where unfortunately  trust had been broken? Because  unless  you are willing to let go 100% there will always be that trust issue that will only cause problems and you definitely  don't want your baby to grow up in that type of environment... you are a strong woman you can make it good luck and I hope he realized the mistake he made.

[ladyhawk83]

i'm so sorry this is happening ....  i've been there before too. once he wakes up, have him pack some stuff and leave. he needs to prove himself to you now. he is your baby's daddy so he deserves to be listened to, but he messed up ... bad. very bad. he needs to realize how inexcusable his actions were. speak openly to him about how you feel and what you expect. either he gets it and figures out how to be a better partner... or you have to walk away. this isn't just about him or you anymore. it's about being parents to your child. being in a broken, messy relationship is worse than being a single parent.

[bean1506]

I mean I know I haven't been the easiest person to be with recently...being fed up, no self confidence, general pregnancy pains....I also suffer with quite bad anxiety and also depression but he knows exactly how I feel I thought he was supposed to be there for me through out the tough times not do this

[bean1506]

Thank you so much, he seems sorry but he's still drunk so leaving him to sleep it off just can't stop crying and I don't want little man to get stressed, I have been cheated on in every relationship I've been in and some more horrible things be done...He promised this would never happen but hey Ho I'm here again! I'm still quite young at 23 were engaged too...I really hope I can forgive him for my baby's sake....my trust has been broken again and I'm struggling to see how I will ever get it back...Once a cheat always a cheat, right?.....I love him but I need to be shown some respect cause this is a lot harder for me then it is for him  

[ladyhawk83]

good. give each other space. pregnancy is hard for both partners, but that's absolutely no excuse to break trust though! if you both love each other and he shows true remorse, i would attempt to save the relationship since you're going to have a child together. if, however, he doesn't respect you.... leave and never look back sister. you are a strong, beautiful woman.. and mother. you have to be a role model for your child. do not let anyone put you down or disrespect you.

[bean1506]

It's 5.35 am I have been sat up all night waiting for him he hasn't rang or text once and I was in a lot of pain before he left and he isn't bothered all he wanted to do was get drunk not even asked how I am now....

[bean1506]

I'm going to have him stay at his brothers for a bit when he wakes up.....I'm feeling so low in myself he knows this....I don't feel good enough and I feel fat and then this happens :(

[taciaa]

clearly he doesn't respect you , I wouldn't want my child seeing or being around someone who doesn't respect me ! He don't deserve you if he did that and be obv don't care about you !

[ladyhawk83]

.... ugh. worst nightmare!!! talk it out, find out why. see if you two can work it out before doing anything rash. have him go stay with family or friends and give each other space to really think this through. breach of trust is never okay and it's extremely painful! good luck sister... your baby needs positive vibes right now.