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Okay.. I have been with the same man for 12 years.. we have two boys together 8 and 5 and expecting a little girl (29 weeks).. We got together when we were in High school. During my second pregnancy he cheated on me and left to be with the girl. After I had our second son he wanted to be back with me.. I set some obligations.. that he will never do it again etc bc I will be done for good. Well we discussed everything and both decided what we wanted for our family he even asked me to marry him. We haven't got married yet bc we wanted to finish our Bachelors degrees before we do. I HAD let go of the past and nothing bothered me anymore. Anyways I am now pregnant again and it's like I'm freaked out of my mind. I know it's just my emotions but one night I got on to do homework and his email was up and there was a lot of messages from a mother of a kid on the basketball team he coaches well he coaches 7 different teams and this boy is on 5 of them.. they didn't really say anything bad but you could tell there was a little flirting involved.. My heart instantly dropped. I asked him about it and he swears nothing is going on and that he talks to all the kids mom's bc he has to but the only thing is I didn't see any convos with any other mom.. I guess what I'm getting at is do you guys feel as if I'm making something into something it's not.. should I be worried? Etc. I don't want to bring up the past because we left everything in the past and moved on and it's been great up until I seen those messages. One message was her asking if he could puck her son up and take him with him to his other kids practice.. then him begging her to get him a job where she works.. also him saying he's going to claim her child on his taxes.. to how good of a coach he is etc. I knew they were texting bc at a game she said my man's name texts her all the time thinking he's the boss.. which I didn't think to much into it until I read the emails.. plus my hormones have been going crazy being pregnant and all. What do you ladies think?
9 Responses
Avatar universal
Such a sticky situation. But honestly you worrying won't change anything. If he's cheating and you have no proof he will just deny it and make you feel like you're crazy. So until you have hardcore evidence of something "wrong", just chill. I would be pissed about the emails as well, my opinion would be voiced, but what difference does that make? He's just gonna work harder at remembering to log out of his email in the future. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst. May the odds be ever in your favor!
Avatar universal
YOU have every right to feel the way you do. Although you put the past behind you will never forget. Its a natural instinct to feel like he reverted to his old ways. Try not to accuse him but keep your  eyes open. If it bothers you ask the two of them to keep their "relationship" professional and that all the extra conversation is not necessary. Good luck,I been through it too.
Avatar universal
Uh, I hate to be a downer here, but he wants to work with her? And he said he is going to claim her child on his taxes? And now she wants him over to pick up her son? Um, I would have a MAJOR problem with that and forbid him to communicate with this woman or else the relationship is over. That is totally unacceptable and my husband would never ever talk to another woman one on one, much less say some of those highly inappropriate things. You need to stick up for your self and show him what will not be tolerated.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but if you feel something isn't right always trust your instincts.
Avatar universal
I can see where your coming from, my husband cheated on me and I found out two weeks before our wedding... Talk about pressure to forgive! I will never forget what he did to me and I'm petrified it will happen again. I found out through reading txt msgs and now I can't even pick up his phone without my heart going into palpitations!!

There is obviously a reason he came back to be with you and have a third child so you need to remember that. If I were you I would be telling this other woman to pull her head in and leave ur husband alone! I just don't understand why women feel the need to be like that!

It's hard not to blow the situation out of proportion unnecessarily when to you it seems like it's clear as day that he is up to no good... Keep ur eyes open and don't take his crap, u owe it to yourself and kids to be happy. Good luck xx
Avatar universal
Thanks ladies.. I Def confronted him about it the day I seen them asking what that was all about and if the roles were flipped he would feel the exact same way as I do. He does take our 8 year old son with bc he's on all of the teams as well. I forgot to mention that but even of he's going to pick that kid up the boys could be distracted etc. Who knows.. I just know it does bother me and he knows about it. The only thing I don't know is if he is still talking to her like he was in them emails.. I'm 29 He's 30.. this woman is dang near 40 and of course can't keep a relationship.. I have known her for a long time but we were never friends like hung out etc. She does mess with other people's men.. etc. When I confronted him he said if you don't believe me then ask her etc. Which doesn't put my mind at ease specifically bc I know how she is and
Avatar universal
She doesn't care. I think I only feel threatened bc I am pregnant. I feel huge etc. But in reality I'm all baby.. everyone says that. He said I have nothing to worry about that he doesn't ever want to hurt me again bc he loves me more than anything and he will not make that's same mistake again. He also said that he DEF wouldn't mess up what we have going on for an older chic let alone any chic. He said he has all he wants here his family. But like yall said men will say just about anything! Just having a hard time trusting right now through this pregnancy. The thoughts and feelings didn't arise until I actually started to get bigger etc. I hope and pray he doesn't do it again bc we have made it past so many obstacles together.. have a family.. etc. But I do know one thing and he ALSO knows that I won't put up with it again and he will lose his family forever if he does make the mistake. Of course I wouldn't keep the kids from him by any means bc he is a great father but we won't be together.
Avatar universal
I'll play devil's advocate.. See, I'm an extremely friendly person always have been. Maybe if Hsu personality is very talkative and outgoing then let him be himself. I guess if his friendliness is exclusively with this lady maybe there should be a sit down convo with him and express your concerns so he can reassure you. I how you feel better about this.
Avatar universal
Yeah he is not very talkative.. he is shy.. etc. People honestly don't know how to take him and ask me how we got together etc. Bc I'm talkative.. happy show emotions.. he is complete opposite.
Avatar universal
This might seem childish but i would just grab his phone and read his texts every now and then to ease your mind...if you notice that he constently deletes the txts then there is something funny goin on in that conversation you will notice if something is off..some women can be really s.l.u.t.y though and try to seduce a guy even if he isnt interested or is marries just saying ..my bf had trust issues with me before i got pregnant and i always left my phone at his reach whenever he was concerned if their is nothing to hide their is nothing to fear goodluck!
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