Aa
Rant! so fed up with other judgemental mothers.
I am so fed up with judgemental sahm!
I dont tell them how to raise their kids but its ok for them to make comments to me? Right so long story short in UK we are legally entitled to one year maternity. For 6 months I am paid full pay (though I am very lucky with this) and last 6 months is no pay. When I've been asked by other mums amongst my 5 year olds daughters friends about what I'm doing after the maternity leave I tell them im going back to my studies (I'm a funded phd student) and I intend to start full employment after. Yet many sahm think it's then ok to criticise my decision to return to work even after 6 months/year off having the baby. So far I have heard 'why bother having a baby when you won't be the one taking care of it?' And 'you're not prioritising your children enough'. I find it INCREDIBLY rude as I would never question another's women's decision about what she is doing and what is best for her family.
Anybody else getting this?
I dont tell them how to raise their kids but its ok for them to make comments to me? Right so long story short in UK we are legally entitled to one year maternity. For 6 months I am paid full pay (though I am very lucky with this) and last 6 months is no pay. When I've been asked by other mums amongst my 5 year olds daughters friends about what I'm doing after the maternity leave I tell them im going back to my studies (I'm a funded phd student) and I intend to start full employment after. Yet many sahm think it's then ok to criticise my decision to return to work even after 6 months/year off having the baby. So far I have heard 'why bother having a baby when you won't be the one taking care of it?' And 'you're not prioritising your children enough'. I find it INCREDIBLY rude as I would never question another's women's decision about what she is doing and what is best for her family.
Anybody else getting this?
Exactly, hats off to those who stay at home, it's not easy. Just as some folk wonder how I manage 3 kids and a full time job, I wonder how some manage to stay at home! We all have a hard time one way or another and all mums need to support each other, because we all face our own challenges every day.
That's exactly how I feel sorenr. I was at home with my eldest until she was eleven months then last year I had her full time (when not at nursery for two hrs day) while doing my masters full time. It killed me and I became so jealous of my husband and the adult conversations he was able to have. I'm not made to be at home full time and I know I'll be happier and more balanced going to work then coming home and spending time doing fun things with them like lego and then doing home works. I admire sahm because I know I'm not capable of it.
I'm going to have my 4th child in June, I stayed at home with my first 2 for 8 years working part time at nights. I can honestly say I wasn't good at it. I love my kids, but it wasn't good for me being at home, I was miserable. I went back to full time work when my 3rd was 9 months old and he loves nursery, gets to do loads of things I would never do with him and we're all happy when we get home at night as I've spent grown up, responsible time at work and can be fun mum at home. Neither of us would be happy if I was there all the time. For me, my job is important in keeping a happy home life and I will be returning to work after my year maternity leave with a big smile!
Don't EVER let anyone make you feel bad about your choices as a mum, we all carry enough guilt 24/7 whether we stay at home or not without letting all by one else's feelings get on top of us too! Plus...Some of them will just be jealous. I've been THAT mum too. Do what's best for you and your child and never mind anyone else :)
Don't EVER let anyone make you feel bad about your choices as a mum, we all carry enough guilt 24/7 whether we stay at home or not without letting all by one else's feelings get on top of us too! Plus...Some of them will just be jealous. I've been THAT mum too. Do what's best for you and your child and never mind anyone else :)
I'm very lucky that I get paid full pay for 6 months, it's definitely not common and I didn't have it with my first, I was SMP with her which isn't great. But yeah we are very lucky with the length of time off we get. I can't believe your maternity in US is so short! You think they'd have caught up with the times for working mothers.
Thank you all for your comments, you've all been lovely and there's been absoloutly no judgement which is great :)
I think as long as we do what makes us feel good as mothers then that's the best for our kids. We already have enough guilt about things compared to the dad's, because we always feel like we could do something better. So it's nice that none of us judge each other and question each others decisions regarding whether to work or not as many of us don't have a choice because of mortgages or childcare. And those that choose to be at home or to work is because they know what's best for their own family.
You have all made me feel better, thank you. :)
Thank you all for your comments, you've all been lovely and there's been absoloutly no judgement which is great :)
I think as long as we do what makes us feel good as mothers then that's the best for our kids. We already have enough guilt about things compared to the dad's, because we always feel like we could do something better. So it's nice that none of us judge each other and question each others decisions regarding whether to work or not as many of us don't have a choice because of mortgages or childcare. And those that choose to be at home or to work is because they know what's best for their own family.
You have all made me feel better, thank you. :)
Women are just childish at times. I've always wanted to be a sahm but after realizing it would be hard financially I'm going back to work, only on the weekends though. I think what you are doing is great!! :)
Wow, I only get six weeks and its unpaid. I think its wise to finish your studies and there isn't anything wrong with going back to work. Just ignore them.
I am a stay at home mom and dude hats off to you! I wish I could go back to the work force. Don't listen to them. Don't listen to anyone. It's not their life, it's yours. You do what you want and what you feel is right. I personally think it's awesome you are going back to the work force. It's so drive and passion and thats a beautiful thing, not to say sahm's don't have that, but if you know this is right and what you want than go full force and never look back! The ones who talk down don't matter.
I wish I could get 6 months paid! I am wanting to stay with my baby at least that's before I get back to work, but don't think I can afford to go without pay....I don't know how many weeks I get paid, but is no more than 12 and is also not 100% pay. I always say I should move to England, US maternity leave *****. I agree with the other women. It's your choice to do what's best for your family. Those other women need to mind their own business.
I've done both, pros and cons to both sides. I love pay day knowing it's money I earned and things aren't such a struggle. I also love spending time with just me and my boys. Children learn and gain from both sides. Do what works for your family.
I moved to the us when I was 10. Born in canada. Anyways I have a lot of family still there. Including my sister and she was in shock when I returned to work with my first one.
Thank you all for you comments. I agree with them all. I have a lot of reps for mothers who stay at home and mothers who work because both are gaming different challenges. I need to return to work because I want to complete my course but also because I love my field. My 5 year old knows this and has an interest in it already as she likes to talk to me about it. I would choose to return to work and it is this that the other mothers have an issue with and while I know not all mothers would make that decision, the really aggressive ones need to realise that every mother/family/child is different. However my youngest will be in child care three days a week and with me the rest of the week for the next 3 years and I think that is a good compromise. But at the same time I feel like I need to make excuses for myself. I don't understand why women cannot just be more supportive of each other, we all already have so much stress in trying to juggle our lives and it's not a competition.
Wow really?? I'm planning to return to work when bubs is 6-7 months!! And that's something I don't want to do but I have to. I would have liked a year off but the bills, mortgage etc isn't going to pay itself!!
Every mom has the right to work or stay home - and no mom should be critical of another for making a choice that's different from her own on this topic. For myself, I am hoping to be able to stay home, but I think it's AWESOME that you're going to juggle both a career and parenthood! Hope those other moms that you know start keeping their opinions to themselves!
i'm in the uk as well, and only getting SMP. my partner was made redunant a few weeks back, battling to find work. so as it stands i'll be back at work after 6 weeks. so no. you must do whats right for you and your situationm screw the others.
Yeah US maternity leave sounds horrendous! I thought it would have been more in line with Canada's? I just think people are very judgemental and if others don't criticise them for their choices then why is it ok for them to do it?
Screw em hun,im a full time stay at home mum myself by choice but many people just have to work,do whats best for you,life doesnt stop just because we have babies
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