how do i not offend mil?

[scelesta]

I'm 13 weeks she is saying she wants to host my baby shower when it's time to do so. I said that's fine BUT how can I tell her I have no desire to do it at her house which reeks of ferret and they have a dog and I don't like dogs..also have to figure out how to tell mils mom she cannot bring her dog( she takes it everywhere). I want the shower in a place I'm comfertable as I'm not a social person and being around more then one person stresses me out.

I don't know how to explain this without sounding rude but I'm the mom to be I should have a say in this right? If I had my way there'd be no baby shower but I lost that battle with hubby

[scelesta]

Oh we found a solution that ts being done at my mother's planned by me. Going to just invite all family male and female and do a Bbq to celebrate not jut the baby but us getting married as we are not having a ceremony. So this is the perfect time for the families to meet for the first time. Now we just have to tell mil lol

[lorinewmum]

Mil's are quite tough. You should talk to hubby so he can tell her not to be so controlling. Write down your ideas and emphasise that if you had the energy that you'd be doing it but since she's so helpful, she can do it your way. Are any of your family members close by? If they are, get them to help too just to neutralise her opinion a bit.

[scelesta]

That could work I really wish I could just plan it myself so I don't have to deal with drama. I'm worried if I bring it up with dh it will start an arguement as he thinks his mom is going to be WAY more involved in everything and I've flat out said no way.  

If you can't tell I'm not a big fan of my mil she thinks my ideas on how to raise a child, how I plan to give birth etc are stupid

[mommalombardi]

I would either a. Show her a few places that you guys could rent out and tell her the benefits..i.e she doesn't have to clean or there is plenty of room. And then save your mom's for last and say plenty of room and it's free. If she says why not my house say that she is already throwing the shower you don't want her to have the burden of cleaning up after everyone like that and some people have allergies to dogs. That what I would say..I'm sorry if that doesn't help. My mil has 6 dogs and a nasty bird so I understand!

[scelesta]

I also wouldn't mind doing it at my mom's as she keeps a clean house and actually has room for people to sit etc and places I can hide out if I need a few minutes alone but again I know I'll offend someone. Hubbys family and my family have met once and that was it...