Pregnancy: May 2009 Babies Community
117 Members
143123 tn?1274300825

Pregnancy Blues

Ok, so let me just start off by saying I am not regretting my pregnancy or anything like that.  SH and I have wanted this for a long time and suffered 2 m/c’s and help from an RE before successfully getting pregnant and making it this far with Reece.  But, I’m just a little down.  I have this protruding belly that I don’t know what to do with it.  I don’t feel attractive, especially getting intimate with DH.  Someone told me the other day that I was “glowing” and I immediately asked them “do whales glow?”.  That’s what I feel like and I know I’m going to get bigger and I want to because that means Reece is getting bigger and will be a healthy baby.  Things are tense between me and DH in the bedroom sense.  We aren’t intimate at all and I think it’s because I’m disgusting to him.  He claims he is very much attracted to me and a pregnant belly is just part of the scenario right now.  But, I can’t feel comfortable being naked with this belly and I guess it’s more my fault than his that we haven’t DTD.  I should be grateful, and I am, to have a successful, uneventful pregnancy this far.  Besides no sleep and no appetite, things have been great.  I guess I just have “pregnancy” blues, but I don’t know how to shake them.  I know being pregnant is a gift from God and is a beautiful thing, but I’m not feeling it, at all!  I feel as though my body has been taken over (which I know it has) and I am not in control at all and I don’t know how to cope with that.  Plus, I have all of these raging hormones and I’m crying at the drop of a hat.  I’m just not “happy” right now.  Maybe this vent will help…Thanks for reading!!!
9 Responses
514585 tn?1328740013
oh krushing.... i understand completely it is hard sometimes to feel comfortable in your own skin before pregnancy but then add the changes that happen to your body and hormones it can be horrible.  this is my 4th child that i have carried into the 6th month and 6th pregnancy total.  i definately have a pregnant belly and i sometimes feel like it is growing by leaps and bounds daily which is frustrating. the only differance i think i have compared to others is that i was over 300 lbs at one point and so never noticed much about my body until AFTER i had lost the weight and such.  it is a phase and will pass...not sure what i can do/say to help except that i am sure this will pass and you will be your old self before too long, and Reece is sooo worth it all. keep your chin up and talk about how you are feeling... rant and rave and vent on here or to your DH or if it gets to the point that you think you need it, talk to a counselor or therapist. pregnancy depression is actually more common than most ppl think.  i am here for ya hun if you want to talk.. hugs and luv to you dear.... now go take a long bath and a good cry... then sit down with a hot cup of tea and relax... hope you feel better soon.
Avatar universal
I can definitely relate to you ladies, having tried for 3.5 years to get pregnant with this little one and then feeling depressed. I start feeling ungrateful when others are still trying so hard to conceive and I'm pregnant and feeling sad. The whale comment I totally understand after I took pictures I was like, OMG I look like a whale, of course everyone says you look great and the OB says we are very pleased with your weight gain but I look huge. I agree with Joyce it is so common for women to get baby blues during pregnancy I was actually watching a show where they were talking about how in the 2nd trimester they can do a blood test that determines if a woman is susceptible to getting postpartum. A problem I have is being impatient I'm so excited for Noah to be here that it feels so far away still even though it is more closer than I think. We are all almost there so hang in there girl, your little one will be here before you know it. =)
562884 tn?1279632334
I had the talk with DH last night about the whole uneventful bedroom, I feel bad b/c I feel like I am neglecting him but I am so cumbersome right now it is not a "good" experience. I was overweight to start with so I don't really have a self image issue, just that I am SO uncomfortable.

I think that this is all part of the experience, one that you actually forget about, until you get pregnant again and then your like "Oh that's why I swore I didn't want anymore!" LOL But you do put all of this behind you when you see that little baby.

I think everyone is having a welcome to the 3rd trimester pitty party. I know I've had mine all week. It will pass soon.
Avatar universal
krushing- have you talked to dh about how you are feeling? I was surpirsed to learn my dh loved my pregnant body and he makes sure to tell me all the time now,b/c i shared how i was feeling.
i keep saying to dh we should be having more sex, it seems strange that we arent. but everytime we mean to I am way to tired or just soooooooo not into it. i feel bad for him. i did tell him if he needs some loving to tell me and i will do what i can. LOL> its hard to have fun when you have this big belly infront of you. and my hips hurt!!  I keep hearing from all my friends how much sex they had when they were pregnant and i am thinking i am a weird one or something. 1 gf od mine said she had it like everyday in the 3rd trimester. WTF?? i thought pregnant women were horny at some point, but i dont feel that way at all :(

we should start a 3rd timester bitching forum!!
143123 tn?1274300825
kiki:  I'm going to finish up my pity party...and just go with the flow...or at least try!  I was a very sane and stable person before getting pregnant and now I feel like I should be locked in a mental ward somewhere, especially when I cry at some stupid commercial or because my crib bedding didn't fit right the first time.  

hkenny:  I've told DH how I feel and he has tried and tried to assure me that he is just as attracted to me now as he was before I got pregnant.  But, it's hard for me to believe that when I see the big belly and lets not forget the weird changes in my breasts and those darn stretch marks that are trying to creep up on me...regardless how much belly butter I use.  I'm actually in the mood...but the idea of me being naked freaks me out.  We tried to DTD awhile back and I it was uncomfortable and I couldn't stop thinking about how awful I must look naked...so it didn't work out.  So, like I said...I'm going to try and go with the flow because the way I look is normal...I am growing a baby!

And bring on the 3rd trimester ***** forum...I'm there!!!!
593530 tn?1263847957
I'm in somewhat of the same boat as you when it comes to sex.  I've found that our problem is more me being to overly concerned about what he's thinking rather than him thinking anything negative about me.  Some things to keep in mind that may make you feel better for the time being:  As you said it is much more uncomfortable in most positions at this point in our pregnancies.  So if we're uncomfortable, it'll make our men uncomfortable.  Also, not sure if you're affected with this, but I've found that there's a lot more "lubrication" since I've been pregnant which isn't always a good thing.  What I've tried is just not putting pressure on myself or my BF to have intercourse and just let it happen when it happens.  Taking our time and just finding a position that makes me feel more comfortable makes the situation much more enjoyable!  And if you're worried about how you look naked right now, just tell your DH and keep those lights off until after the baby's born!  There's no crime in that if it makes you feel better.  :-)

Also keep in mind that MOST men don't see stretch marks and breast changes...they just see boobs and butt and that's all they need!  LOL!  I hope things get better for you!
143123 tn?1274300825
Thanks Cyrena!  DH isn't the one complaining...it's me.  He tells me all the time, he's not turned off by anything, etc.  But, I can't get in the mood, because all I think about is what I see, which is what he sees...and I personally would be turned off.  But, again, like you said, men are only interested in boobs and a$$.  So, I just have to not be so modest, go with it.
554628 tn?1362777919
hmmm i feel modest as well when naked around my bf or ne thing at all but like hkenny said just just talk to him and maybe it won't be so bad, my bf loves my pregnant belly and body too for some reason lol but feel lucky i can't even have sex at all even if i wanted to, and havn't since late october due to my cerclage....crazy so that does make me feel a lil more unwanted and etc but bf seems to like my pregnant body and i'm sure your dh does as well.... good luck krushing!
Avatar universal
I'm pregnant with my first baby, planning a wedding, gearing up to go back to work as an elementary teacher and just moved. I'm only 13 wks and so far everything has been great health wise. Before we found out I was pregnant I was in Prozac for anxiety but I'm trying not to take anything during the pregnancy. I'm slowly starting to unravel emotionally. I cry almost everyday at the smallest things and feel completely out if control. My fiance doesn't understand how I can be so emotional when we're going to have a baby. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm just lost. How can I find peace and calm when I feel so out of control? I'm thrilled to be pregnant but I'm so scared of being so stressed out.
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