Advice

[Rlbonar2]

So I'm on the verge of ending my marriage.  I'm tired of fighting the same battle things are never going to change. It's a drinking problem and we are having another child in May I don't want him the baby to be around this nor do I want my two year old either so stressed feel alone some many emotions as well help

[Rlbonar2]

Thank you all for the advice I really appreciate it

[holly_86]

My ex was an alcoholic and i spent many years trying to help him. It broke my heart to leave him but he was making me ill with worry and depression. I went to alanon meetings with fellow families of alcoholics and they really helped.  Do whatever you think is right for you and your children. Good luck

[thspeach_02]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, i was at the breaking point the day before thanksgiving (before we found out we were expecting) we got into an argument and it was the worst we've had in 8 years. I told him I was done and moving out, we talked and he apologized, i wasn't ready to accept till Monday morning when we found out we were expecting. The knowledge has totally changed him for the better...

Hopefully you can find in your heart what's best to do for you and your babies!

[b4b]

I have been in your shoes. I had and 11 month old and we just found out our second was on the way. We constantly argued about his drinking. One night, I got a phone call that he had been caught driving drunk. I had to go bail him out the next morning and he had his eureka moment when I looked him in the eye outside the jail. I told him, that was his last chance, one more time and he had better call someone else to bail him out because by the time he got home the kids and I would be gone and I would old have him stripped of his rights. That night cost us over 15000. I will say that tossing divorce around as a constant option isn't a good idea (obviously I have no idea if you are doing this or not), but if he feels like you always have one foot out the door, then he has no reason to change. Likewise, don't make a threat/promise you won't keep. My husband knows, if it happens again, the kids and I are gone and my family is at the opposite end of the country. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

[b4b]

I have been in your shoes. I had and 11 month old and we just found out our second was on the way. We constantly argued about his drinking. One night, I got a phone call that he had been caught driving drunk. I had to go bail him out the next morning and he had his eureka moment when I looked him in the eye outside the jail. I told him, that was his last chance, one more time and he had better call someone else to bail him out because by the time he got home the kids and I would be gone and I would old have him stripped of his rights. That night cost us over 15000. I will say that tossing divorce around as a constant option isn't a good idea (obviously I have no idea if you are doing this or not), but if he feels like you always have one foot out the door, then he has no reason to change. Likewise, don't make a threat/promise you won't keep. My husband knows, if it happens again, the kids and I are gone and my family is at the opposite end of the country. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

[Ashley_Lemons]

I've looked at this post a couple times, not really sure what to say. I did have to make the decision in October to stay with my baby's father or leave him, an I choose to leave. It was the best decision for me. My advice is to really think about it and if you would be better with or without him.

[imfinallypregnant]

I was in a similar situation years ago but i had no kids. my husband started drinking heavily and we used to fight alot he used to get agressive and try to start arguments and of course the angrier i got the more heated the fights would get but it was only on his days off and at home i never really thought about separation or divorce because he was still providing even though he drank and we would fight nonstop he never stopped being responsible with the bills and i think that unless a man is cheating anything can be fixed i know its different when you have kids in the house but in my opinion ending a marriage or in your case not just a marriage because now you are a family with kids for drinking is not worth it.. try helping him or just do what i did whenever he started drinking and try to argue over nothing instead of fighting back like i did everytime i would just go in my room or ignored him and then we talked when he was sober i know its hard. it was hard for me to hold my anger but i guessed me changing my attitude also changed him he stopped drinking we have been together for 11 years and expecting our first baby he hasnt gotten drunk in years except at my stepdads birthday party last august but it was because he was happy we just had found out we were expecting and this time he was a happy drunk. Not that it makes it better but at least its not like before. Think about what you want to do but dont act on anger because nothing good comes out of it wait till the baby is here then make your decision maybe when he sees the new baby he'll change