Life is really difficult without Evalynn. I miss her.
I am so sorry for your loss, my heart grieves for you!! You and your family are in my prayers!! My first was a sweet baby girl who was still born, I did get to hold her, though she was not alive! It has been 9 years ago and I still cry , my heart still hurts some days, but I promise it does get better, I can talk about her now without crying I can think of her without feeling I want to die!! The real thing that helped me was when my 2nd child was born she was my lifesaver!! I know that there is a reason for everything but it doesn't take the pain away you will have good days and you will have bad days but don't give up, it does take time and you will always love her and cherish the sweet time you did have with her!!
I am so sorry for your loss! Look into other moms who lost their babies and follow their stories. You may find comfort in following their stories.. that helped me after a miscarriage. Don't listen to what people say on how you should grieve- this is your loss and it's a very difficult one. You need to grieve the way your body feels necessary and no one else can tell you how to feel.
As for physically, if you want your milk to dry up ask your doctor how to get your milk to dry up faster. I've heard cabbage helps. If you're wanting to donate your milk to a baby in need, you could ask the NICU at your hospital about that as well. Either choice is the best choice for you, however you feel comfortable.
I can't imagine your pain and I'm deeply sorry.. Child loss is my biggest fear, but I'm a Christian and I believe God wouldn't give you what you can't handle (as insane as that sounds in your situation right now). I'll be praying for you and your sweet angel baby!
Neither is going to be easy.
With the milk, your Dr can give you something to dry it up. Do not pump. Don't touch them at all and they will dry up naturally.
I cannot say I understand what your going through. I couldn't even imagine. My prayers are with you + family & I am sooo sorry for your loss: -(
I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and Angel Evalynn.