Should I let the dad know of my baby?

[lizy23]

I'm currently 16 almost 17 years old...i'm 5weeks and 2days and I havn't told the dad (a current 17 year old) about my pregnancy..some people are telling me I should tell him but he already told me he doesn't want a relationship with me and in his facebook its clear he likes someone else..
I don't want to tell him because I don't want my little one growing up with another female in his life..or calling another girl mom...i might be exagerating but thats how things might go...
First comes child support
then part time custody
And then a dumb female who thinks she has to try to be in my childs life..
Imagine your bbydaddy loving someone else, kissing someone else, having sex with someone else..would you want your bbys father in your childs life?

[kerryann123]

listen i know you posted this up in feb im new here.i was a teen mom i was 15 when i had my daughter and it was scary but my family help out alot and as for the father i really was scared he wouldnt be there but i told him i made up my mind that he has to know and its his choice if he wants to grow up and be a man or be a bum well thank god he choice being a man he is a great father even though we are not together he is a very good dad. what im trying to say is i know being pregnant at such a young age is scary but dont waste your time if you already know the dad is not going to be there but in the other hand he does need to know. i wish you and your baby the best and i really mean that.....oh and my daughter is now going on 16 and im pregnat with my second child

[donnah92]

It's not fair to deprive your baby of a father just because he has a new girlfriend. And its not fair to not tell him. He might want to know there is soon to be a baby of his walking around. That baby is half his whether you like it or not. He doesn't have to be in a relationship with you to be a dad.

[jrobertson20]

I know this is a lot to take in and I do understand your concerns.  But this is about your baby.  Is it fair that the baby doesn't know their father?  What if the baby grows up and finds out they could have known their real father all their life but you decided not to include him?  They may be resentful to you in the end.  Personally I think you should tell him.  If he decides not to be there then his loss.  I do think it is his right to know.  Good luck hun and I wish you all the best and all the happiness.  

[ebbimumof2]

And although he came to no docters appointments he was there holding my hand when I delivered and he is an awesome dad to my 3 year old :-)  

[ebbimumof2]

I had my daughter a month after my seventeenth birthday and I struggled with the same question. I didn't want to tell her dad cause I knew that he would treat me different. But I was so relieved that I decided to tell because his family rallied around to help supportme.

[westernbabe]

I think you should tell him cause even if he don't want to be with you he has every right to know since he is the dad & if u want child support I'm pretty sure he has to know about what he'll be paying out for I've been through the child support stuff not with my bbydaddy but my own dad but the way my mom was she'd say he ain't seeing u unless he pays so ya

[AnnieBrooke]

Sorry, hit 'send' too early.  

I realize that he doesn't sound at all like long-term relationship material, but in a lot of ways that is secondary right now, primary though it is in your mind.  What you need to be starting to think about seriously is the future of the baby.  Any child deserves to know who its parents are, what their medical history is, what kind of character they have, whether they are tall or short, if there is male pattern baldness in the family, and everything els, important or trivial.  Even if the mom is mad at the dad.  I think you really can't take that away from the baby.  Even if the guy is a pill, the baby will grow up to be a child, then teen, then adult, and deserves to know where he or she came from.

And as for the financials, well, as I said before, it's astonishing how much a child costs month by month.  Please be ready to get going on the child support discussion if you find that this is a relevant point.

All the above is assuming you don't intend to put the child up for adoption.  Good luck to you and your child.

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you have an adult in your life to advise you?  Your mom, dad, aunt or grandparent?  It sounds like you need help sorting it all out.

If you don't file for child support from this guy, how are you going to pay the endless and sizeable bills that come with raising a child?  Sorry to say, but with the obligation to pay child support, he does get the right to be in the child's life.  You are right now saying that you would prefer to keep him out of the baby's life entirely (presumably by lying about his paternity) rather than share the baby with him [or with some unknown female on whom you are presently venting your irritation].  

What you need to talk to that reliable adult about is whether you can fairly keep the guy from the information that he is going to be a parent.  Whether being angry at him with being interested in someone else more than you is enough to withhold such a material fact from both his life and (especially) the baby's.  And whether you could live on your own, pay all your own bills, finish school, and take good care of the child, all without any financial help from him.

[colorado_g]

what if he sees you pregnant , he will know it's his . So its better if he finds thet from you then from sb else. Also what will you tell your baby when he/she asks who the dad is. I is a big decision and you have to think about all   + and - of this situation.