Help with mom!

[court_betha]

So my boyfriend wants just him and I in the room when the baby is born because he thinks this should be an experience just for us becoming parents. Also my mom is always over riding us whenever she is included in things with planning for the baby. But now that I told her this she is pissed and saying I'm breaking her heart so part of me wants to give in and let her be there. Any advice?? Please help!

[cadosanjos]

Lotsof_luvv made a good point-- if you want your mom there then it is a completely different story! Also (responding to lotsof_luvv) i think your doctor might let them switch off if you need that to happen. I would definitely look into that. I'm sorry that your mom and boyfriend aren't getting along :( I think I might have my sister and my hubby in the room bc I am not able to have my mother in the room either.

[lotsof_luvv]

Its totally up to you but I think your mom should be in the room with you even if its just for a while...its obviously important and exciting for her to be in there. Not everyone gets to have their mom there for that special moment and in my case i want my mom and bf in there but they don't get along and if i could have it my way i would love for both of them to be in there and im stressed because i don't think the Dr will let them take turns switching off. Its nice to have the two most important people in your life there with you but like i said its up to you if u and hubby want a special moment just the two of you in there then let her be mad she will get over it. When its all said and done everyone will be so happy including grandma :)

[cadosanjos]

I agree with some of the other women on here about setting boundaries. This is a perfect opportunity for you to do so. It's scary for you because you've never been in a position to do this with your mom before. Your mother sounds like she loves you VERY much. She's just excited about the baby. TRUST me-- as soon as she sees that baby she won't even care anymore that she wasn't in the delivery room. You just have to remind her that you love her too, but delivering the baby is something you feel more comfortable doing without her. Good luck!

[Nickyy700]

I am kinda having the same issue! My bf says he will deel uncomfortable with my mom in the room. He likes her but she is defintely bossy and always has her say on everything. We are first time parents and he just doesn't want her to b there.i am a little conflicted on it. My mom means alot to me and i think i would like her in the room but not 100% yet.

Ughhhhhh i feel your pain!!! My kom wud be absoutely herat broken if i told her no

[Crystalann43]

My mom tells me I'm selfish for taking away a special bond between her & her 1st grand child.  I'm only allowing my fiancée and I am the room. We will call everyone after our little baby boy is born. Don't let her make you feel guilty. It's yalls baby first, everyone else should be more understanding.

[lindashalee]

It's only breaking her heart cause you are not doing what she wants. She will get over it. Just like a child if you give in when they act a certain way then they will always do that to get what they want. If you want to let her in the room talk to both of them and if they agree to if she's quiet and not bossy then maybe she can be in there. If she starts anything you can always tell the people that you need her to leave.

[smydgen]

Dont cave if you agree with your SO. This is your first chance to set boundaries with your mum. She loves you and will recover if you firmly tell her no.

[eesscott]

Don't cave into your mother.  Stand up for yourself and your decisions!  Perhaps instead you can compromise and allow her to wait in the waiting room and can be the first person in afterwards?