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Avatar universal

Visiting After Birth???

With my first experience being an emergency csection, pain after, bleeding, drowsy from the meds, needing rest without ppl in my room, trying to nurse my son & do skin to skin with out worrying about covering up wasn't pleasant with round the clock visitor's & they over stayed their welcome. This time I'll have a scheduled csection & after mnts without decent sleep on top of everything I expect all over again I honestly dnt want to see anyone until I get home & settled. Bt this is my husbands first kid so I dnt want to spoil the experience for him. We agreed no visitor's until day 2 except our parent's & they still need to call before popping up. We're not even going to announce the arrival until a few  hrs later so that way we have a lil private time, I can get a cat nap, & make myself presentable for myself & company. We understand the family's excitement bt ultimately their wants do not trump our family's right to privacy, bonding need's, & my recovery.  What do u ladies plan to do?
8 Responses
12981378 tn?1440334797
That is exactly what I plan to do. My husband n I will be there but we won't let anyone know well mostly my family since his family lives in Vermont n we live in TX. But we will let them know like 6 to 7 hours later since I'm planning a vaginal delivery. I had a very bad experience during my 1st pregnancy when they allowed for my mom to walk in n without my permission n the medical staff were cleaning me. She got to see my privates. N I couldn't get over it. So now no one will know till I'm ready. Already rested n baby was feed.
8377023 tn?1399509160
The same exact thing
Avatar universal
I'm glad you posted this so I could share with my husband. I also want at least 1-2 hrs alone time just the 3 of us to feed/love/bond/freshen up :) before he calls the i laws and they pile in the room with cameras and questions. I know they are family & are excited but my plan is to be stress free! Thanks again ladies & good luck!
Avatar universal
Both sets of grandparents live in my city so it will be easy for any of them to just drop by... My instructions will be that no one is allowed to "wait" in the hospital and that visitors are ok after we make an official public (Facebook) announcement which will be several/many hours after the fact. I'll probably allow my own family a brief visit a few hours afterwards, but I'm not comfortable enough to see my husband's family until the next day (or at my discretion depending on how I feel!)  
10882379 tn?1435465934
Yes! Omg...my husband's family is SO invasive and it drives me crazy! It's part of their culture to be there ALL the time...but it's not part of mine. I like my space and my privacy, but I also like family too...just after I get the space I need. Especially his sister...she just invites herself over everyone's house all the time, shows up unexpectedly, and stays as long as she wants. I am VERY worried about her after I give birth. My husband sometimes gets defensive about it, so I have to find a careful way to explain to him how I am not comfortable with her just showing up without telling us first. I wish there was a way that I could have the hospital control guests for me.
Avatar universal
@Cadosanjos, maybe u should share this post with him so he can understand how it is for us women. Everyone is jus so excited. They dnt really consider how we feel.
10882379 tn?1435465934
Yeah I could do that...but I don't know if I should show him what I wrote about his sister! Lol he gets so defensive over his family. I think he gets like that bc he knows deep down that it's true...but he's not ready to admit it. I can tell my other sister-in-law (also married into the family) feels the same way, but won't come out and tell me because the family gets SO defensive over being collective and it's just a touchy subject. She kind of hints it to me nicely instead.

But either way...I HAVE to find a way to get my husband to agree with me on this or find a happy medium somehow. I don't mind the family visitors...I just want some respect too.
Avatar universal
This is our first baby and we've already agreed to wait a few hours (until I'm comfortable) after our little boy is born to let anyone know. I want those first bonding moments and some rest and my fiancée has agreed. We both have big families and this is both our family's first grandchild so they are super excited but I see myself getting overwhelmed with everyone being there and wanting to hold our son so we're going to wait a little before announcing our little mans arrival.
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