rock and a hard place.

[Taptapboom7779]

I absolutely love my fiance. He's the father of my almost 4 week old daughter and we've been together for 6 years, I guess almost 7 since I turn 21 soon.. But he's an awful father. She's not even a month old but he screams at her to stop crying and he hates when I have him hold her if she's upset. He throws a fit when he has to change a diaper..
I don't know if he's worth staying with, or if I should just raise my daughter by myself.. :/

[RockRose]

taptapboom,  this is exactly the kind of man who will shake the baby,  or worse.  Sometimes it's women who do this,  but it's usually men who can not tolerate a minute of crying and become violent when the baby won't stop.

You're trying to keep plates spinning in the air if you want to still be with him but will have to make sure he's never alone with the baby.  That's like living on a boat with a tiger.

And I agree with SM.  Crying babies are frustrating,  but toilet training is when babies get killed at a higher rate.

[specialmom]

He most likely will never be able to be with his child.  He YELLS at his baby hon.  I mean, really?  You want that kind of person around your child?  I don't care if he is frustrated . . .   it's a baby.  And I promise you, when your baby is a toddler, he's gonna snap if not before.  He's dangerous.  He's not father material.  good luck

[mommysoon2b]

Hmm I'm sorry:/ I no that has to be hard to deal with....I wish you the best of luck

[Taptapboom7779]

He's supervised with her. He says he yells because he gets frustrated and doesn't know how to make her stop. I've offered suggestions like cuddling, rocking, speaking softly. None of it works for him. I don't think he would ever hurt her physically. If he doesn't change there could be emotional damage, but I won't be able to put up with how he is with her much longer. He had a fine childhood. His parents were and still are there for everything.

[mommysoon2b]

I Agree I don't want you to think I'm encouraging you to stay at all ...but I'm not dumb and I no that you could possibly stay and so if u do those are my suggestions on increasing the chances of him changing best wishes  

[specialmom]

I'm a mom.  It would not be hard for me to leave someone that got in my newborn's face and yelled at them.  I would never tolerate that kind of person in my child's life whether they were the father and someone I loved. That behavior would put ice in my heart for them.  

[mommysoon2b]

I didn't mean to compare him like he hurt you I mainly just mentioned it for support ....as in I love him to so I know how hard it is to leave someone you love ...but I want to put my baby first I would never be able to forgive myself if I waited and something bad happened and it affected my baby ...I would leave,but if you really are set on trying to make it work I'm not the one to judge try talking to him maybe ask him what bothers him about the baby...try setting up suprivised things that would in no way be stressful maybe talk to a counselor.... Was his dad in his life he may be not bonding because of problems.s in his childhood he hasn't gotten over? Maybe he's scared to be around kids it makes him uncomfortable bcuz he doesn't no what to do so he takes his frustration out on the babu maybe suggest a parenting class that YOU would love to go to for YOU and ask him to join you for support so he doesn't feel like your attacking him:) ...like I said put ur baby first but those are just suggestions if you do decide to try to fix it

[specialmom]

Love is not that important when it comes to the character of a someone.  He's the guy who yells at and very well eventually hurt this child.  I can almost guarantee it.  Your duty first and foremost is to that child.  I contend that when we get with someone at 14 years old, we haven't taken the time to find a mate for life.  There are qualities in someone that we need in order to have that.  This man is dangerous and will most likely hurt your baby.  

And that this is happening in this brief visits with her should TERRIFY you.  If I were your mother and I heard that, I'd forbid him from entering my house.  It's that bad.  He should not be with this child.

and you would be wise to cut ties now because I would give my right arm in a bet that he will turn violent soon enough.  

Abusive people yell at a newborn they see on the weekends.  Key word . . .   abusive.  You need to put the baby first.  

[Taptapboom7779]

We got together when I turned 14. He's only a year older. He's never had any anger issues. He's never even called me a name. He's not alone with her, ever. We currently don't live together so he only sees her when he comes over on weekends. He's been with me through everything, I want to do what's best for my daughter.. But I love him so much..

[mommysoon2b]

I would leave I'm leaving my bf of 5 years bcuz he put his hands on me when he knew I was pregnant its so hard bcuz I love him but my baby comes first he could have killed the baby and it normally doesn't get any better .....and he absolutely loves kids he's great with nieces and nephews always babysitting but I won't risk it

[RockRose]

Wow,  SM,  and July,  very similar posts.  :(

Really listen, original poster.  This guy is dangerous to your little baby.

Best wishes.

[14Manda]

You are better off raising your child on your own. No father should be throwing a fit when he has to change a dipper,or to hold her, or even be yelling at a baby for that.

[RockRose]

So you're nearly 21,  and you've been with him since you were 13?  

He's dangerous.  Any man who screams at a baby and "throws a fit" when he has to change a diaper is dangerous to the baby.  He's dangerous,  and it's very likely he'll hurt her.  

When you hear about shaken babies,  or smothered babies,  or babies with broken bones,  this is the guy who does this.  

[specialmom]

This is dangerous.  Men that have rage enough to yell at a newborn infant do often go the next step.  You can not allow him in the home alone ever wit her and I hate to say this, but it is unlikely this will get better. Babies are frustrating, toddlers are infuriating.  That he is screaming and being out of control means he should not be with the child.  good luck

[july_15]

Sorry my phone messed up. My opinion is you are WAY better off raising her without him! His anger could get worse toward your baby.

[july_15]

He shouldn't be screaming at her at all! You said she's only 4 weeks? Babies are going to cry! It's just part of being a baby. My opi