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Boyfriend really unsupportive and I don't know what to do
I found out a couple of weeks ago I was pregnant and I'm now 16 weeks. It was completely unplanned and unexpected and he's adamant he doesn't want the baby. He's said he knows he can't make me do anything and it's up to me but I feel like I'm not getting any support from him. I told him I want to keep the baby and he had a massive breakdown and just cried and now I feel so guilty. Am I doing the right thing continuing with the pregnancy with him so against it?
Specialmom gave you great advice, she always does.
I don't believe any child is unplanned or unexpected. If you're not using any birth control then eventually you can become pregnant. I do understand that birth control can fail. Condoms break, the pill is 99% effective if taken as prescribed. There is Plan B though. It's too late for that now because you're 16 weeks along.
He does have a responsibility to help pay for this baby. But, he does not have to be in the child's life. This is so sad because I believe every child should have both it's mother and father in it's life whenever possible. If he wasn't ready for a baby then he should have used a condom.
About child support. I have 3 nephews who have 12 children between them. The oldest has his 3 boys living with him and is taking care of them on his own. My second nephew does not pay child support even though he's been in jail because of it and he's had to pay fines. He sees none of his 5 children. My 3rd nephew pays just enough child support to keep from going to jail and rarely sees his children. They cry because all they want is to see their dad. One of the reasons I'm telling you this is because it happens a lot more than you think and the women and children can end up suffering and struggling. I also hope that other girls and women will read this and really think about getting on birth control if they're sexually active. Or, to at least carry condoms with them just in case.
So, be prepared to fight for child support. He might easily agree to pay it and change his mind about having this baby in his life. I really hope he does the right thing and helps you with the baby.
We're here to listen and help anyway we can.
I don't believe any child is unplanned or unexpected. If you're not using any birth control then eventually you can become pregnant. I do understand that birth control can fail. Condoms break, the pill is 99% effective if taken as prescribed. There is Plan B though. It's too late for that now because you're 16 weeks along.
He does have a responsibility to help pay for this baby. But, he does not have to be in the child's life. This is so sad because I believe every child should have both it's mother and father in it's life whenever possible. If he wasn't ready for a baby then he should have used a condom.
About child support. I have 3 nephews who have 12 children between them. The oldest has his 3 boys living with him and is taking care of them on his own. My second nephew does not pay child support even though he's been in jail because of it and he's had to pay fines. He sees none of his 5 children. My 3rd nephew pays just enough child support to keep from going to jail and rarely sees his children. They cry because all they want is to see their dad. One of the reasons I'm telling you this is because it happens a lot more than you think and the women and children can end up suffering and struggling. I also hope that other girls and women will read this and really think about getting on birth control if they're sexually active. Or, to at least carry condoms with them just in case.
So, be prepared to fight for child support. He might easily agree to pay it and change his mind about having this baby in his life. I really hope he does the right thing and helps you with the baby.
We're here to listen and help anyway we can.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm sorry this is happening. I think he is being honest with you. And he is entitled to feel like he does not want a child and could be right that it isn't the best thing for his life. Then you have to decide what you want to do. Do you have other support? Are your parents on board and ready to help? Do you have an income to support the baby or a plan on how to get it? Be really practical and just come up with a plan. He may bolt and not be a part of this. I'd personally go to court and make him pay child support as he has a duty to do so and hopefully once a baby is born, he'll come around and actually be a dad. If you are not a couple, do you want to go through with the pregnancy?
Unfortunately alot of men when it comes to unplanned are like this some end up stepping up some don't but us women are strong and you decided alone you wanted to keep the baby so if need be you can raise it with out him if he doesn't want to be there that's on him but it's never wrong to keep your baby
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