I'm still a new mom, still nursing. just turned 36 and my child will be 11 months, and today I realized my period was late. Took a test and sure enough turned positive. I just started crying. My relationship is not the best (I called him and he was studying (masters), told me he'll call me back and never did) and we have barely been having sex! Like once a month if that. Wth! I'm so not ready and I would have tried to choose a better time (like summer, not winter for having a child) I want to be happy and enjoy this pregnancy, I was so worried my first one I couldn't, but now....I'm just not even sure how to feel about this. I wanted to wait a little, I wanted to plan my next child. I know I should feel blessed, but I'm just upset and worried and I had not decided if I wanted more children in this relationship...sorry for the rant, I just want for once to feel happy about finding out I'm pregnant and both times I have just been caught by surprise and not feeling excited about it even though I knew I wanted kids....what's the matter with me