Having sex after baby :,(

[Crystal0093]

I'm going to be five weeks postpartum tomorrow and I feel so sad cuz I finally gave in to my hubby and let him try to have sex with me he was begging me so much that I just gave in and when he started to it hurt it felt like I was goin to tear open and I told him to stop and take it out tht I couldn't do it and I just feel so bad I feel like we're never goin to be able to have sex :( I know I'm supposed to wait the full six weeks so plz spare me the lectures it's just me and him have been fighting a lot lately and he told me he really wanted to have sex so we can feel close again cuz going without it has been real hard on him..

[specialmom]

How are things going?  Was last night any better?  

[specialmom]

Hi crystal.  I did read your other post too.  I think that after having a baby, the dynamics between a couple really change.  Some are ready for it and others take longer to adjust. Your husband is adjusting.  I do think you have to force the issue.  Give him your baby girl and go lay down.  For like 2 solid hours.  I had this issue a bit with my first baby. My husband was a nervous nelly with the baby and wasn't really helping. I was exhausted.  my sister is the one who said "STOP, it's HIS baby too.  Give him the baby, go to your room and lay down and do not get up for TWO hours no matter if you hear crying or anything else."  I did it.  And then it became our routine.   I got a mini break and my hubby was in charge.  It was great bonding time for them.  And I got my needed break.  so, it does sometimes have to be a forced issue. BUT)

As to sex, I feel bad if you feel like you have to in order to hold his interest.  Hon, marriage is a vow that does not mean you have to have sex if you are recovering . . .   it means you love each other through the hard times.  

Ugh, I'm not sure though if he is going to listen as he sounds like he is dead set on his way or the highway.  

[Crystal0093]

Thank you for the advice I did try it with lube that didn't seem to help it kinda burned :/ maybe I wasn't using the right kind cuz I think this one gets warm when it goes in me.

[alisonk170]

Try again but with lots and lots and lots of forplay.  Send sexy mesages to eachother all day then hug and kiss lots and have him touch you lots on the outside befor any penetration ( you may also want to use lube ) all this will feel good and help you relax and want it it should also help him be able to enter worhout corsing you pain

[Crystal0093]

Bump