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Husband's Priorities

Today has been absolutely filled with drama that I can't avoid & really I just need to vent.
My mother is really sick, my worthless deadbeat dad is making things so hard for her & continues to intrude like he's apart of my life & will be a grandpa to my daughter, my mil won't leave me alone & god knows everything is always about her, & now to top it off my husband & I will be sleeping in separate rooms tonight because he thinks he needs to blow another bonus on a ****ing gun instead of doing some things to prepare for our baby due in just 4 short months. I tried to calmly explain my feelings on this & he got mad.
I'm not even expecting a reply & if you're just going to be negative save it. Just thought maybe someone would understand & feel the same. I love my husband but I wish we were on the same page about this stuff!!
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Avatar universal
The best part about this app is knowing there are others out there going through/thinking the same things I am! It helps so much to know I'm not alone! THANK YOU! Very good ideas & I definitely try to remember things can always be worse! We truly are blessed & the men in our lives will understand it soon enough, happy as they may be it does change more for them after baby comes! Thank you again for the helpful words ladies, I really needed them today!!
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sounds like a bad day.  Everyone that is in a support role to you isn't being very supportive.  Sorry to hear this and hope it gets better.

I'd make a list of what the baby needs---  keep it very practical and put prices by it and give it to him.  Tell him this is what he needs to come up with by the due date so that you are prepared for the baby.  Then if he thinks he has enough to buy his gun, let him.  But I'd make it clear that X amount is needed for these baby necessities.  good luck
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Avatar universal
I definitely know that feeling, had to deal with that type of attitude from my husband past almost 8 years.. Don't get Me wrong he did alright at first but he would let money and material things go to the brain..Played video games ,obsessed with movies electronics,didnt want to help me with bdays christmas etc ,was distant during those times and other times too.. It cost him a few times almost our marriage.. but it seems over time he's learned from it so this time he's so happy and serving with out asking and making sacrifices for the boys one 11 1/2 one 7 yo, he's willing to sell car for extra money for Christmas, I just found out Saturday we're expecting after 7 years..Due in August will be 6 wks tomorrow apt in a few wks.He's already wanting to buy stuff ,is  protective and thrilled.. I believe I won the battle over time, but he still gets to enjoy his hobbies healthily, especially since he's proved it's value doesn't out weigh family /priorities.. It's a battle or a war so to speak stand your ground for your baby, WE ARE WOMAN, WE ARE THE LIONESS SO KEEP ROARING!! #&Happy Final Weeks 2 you ;D
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Honey I feel very similar. Keep your head up and stand firm on how you feel.
I am having issues with my brother and his girlfriend and posted about it earlier last month or this month. It has gotten worse and the are making allegations against my husband, when I am with my husband the entire time they are talking about. My brother left his girlfriend and she is saying stuff because she wants people to feel sorry for her and take care of her kids so she don't have to. We won't do it so she is trying to make us as unhappy as she is. She tried to say my husband was looking in her bathroom window which is ten foot off the ground and she is dog ugly. She even called the police which said there is nothing they can do because he was with me and the kids who are old enough to tell them where daddy was plus the older girls girl scout leader seen him in my house when she was picking up my girls for a meeting. The cops said we should move because I have a high risk pregnancy and so much going on with the kids.

Then I am buying Christmas for our five girls and my husband keeps spending money on himself and complaining that we don't have enough money because of the holidays. I tried telling him we would have more if he tried to spend a little less on stupid junk he don't need.

Girl don't let the stress get to you. You know the world is full of people who apparently know better than you on what you should do and only care about themselves. I am fighting the stress in my life also so don't feel like you are alone. Sleep in desperate rooms because the strongest will be able to hold out longer, make him give in first because it sounds like you are in the right.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It seems to take men a lot longer to realise that there is a baby on the way. My partner has just started to buy things and give me money for things the last couple of weeks I'm  37 weeks now. I haven't pressured him to buy things as i have my own money. I wanted him to buy things cos he wants to,  which he now has ☺ I'm very lucky that i can talk to my partner about anything even the gross stuff lol. I'm sure your husband will come round in his own time. Just try and take it easy as much as you can. Thi gs will work out. Good luck with everything. If you need to vent we're all listening x ☺
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am going through a lot too. You are not alone. My boyfriend is obsessed with guns and constantly buying bullets etc. It makes me furious too cause he has not purchased one item for baby. We do have to understand that it is not real to them yet. Us as mothers are the ones who have yo think of EVERYTHING cause men just dont know and aren't thinking of preparing for baby. My grandfather told me to get rid of it when I told him I was pregnant. My mom and dad get involved in me n my bf relationship and my mom has been so judgemental and wants me to leave him and live with them. My sister ditches our family traditions for christmas for the years in a row now and my mother changes christmas to the following weekend...leaving me with nothing to do on the real holidays. Things are rough. We are not alone though. I always try to tell myself that things could be much worse and I should be grateful for what I do have. It is hard but being strong for myself and the baby gets me through it.
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Avatar universal
Thanks girls. They really don't have any idea! I've shown him the prices of strollers, car seats, rocking chairs...He believes everything will just show up at our house apparently. He's also been looking at 2 door trucks-what the heck will we do with that?! What are they thinking?? If we can't fit the baby in there, they just get more alone time & get out of dealing with them I suppose! As for my father, he's not welcome at our house. Period. I'm not having that mess around my children. I'd like to say the same about my mil but husband just feels sorry for her & plays into her drama. She needs him for something every other day-most of it is just that she doesn't want to be alone. Well neither do I! If she didn't treat everyone so badly she wouldn't have that problem! Ugh people drive me nuts right now lol
Helpful - 0
10201748 tn?1419748841
My husband is the same way. Our sinw I'll be here in 4-5 weeks and we don't even have a crib...but he has a new to him $10,000 TWO DOOR truck sitting in the driveway.

I'm planning in dipping into our savings and buying the rest of the stuff we need whether he likes it or not.

Hope everything works out for you and hubby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My bf is alway spending on himself vs the baby. I'm almost 34 weeks. I understand you stress. Sorry about your mom. Set clear boundaries with your father and Mil. As for your man have you shown him prices the get ready for baby? Maybe he needs to realize how much babies cost. Like I said I understand my man's more worried about video games, blurays and junk.
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Avatar universal
I'm so sorry.
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Avatar universal
Hopefully everything gets better for you.. don't lose hope...
Helpful - 0

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