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Avatar universal

I want to divorce my husband

We were having issues before I got pregnant and I was planning on leaving him. That day I took a pregnancy test and well you know I stayed. Today is his birthday but he went out and partied with a whole bunch of people and left me at home. On my birthday when I wasn't pregnant he wouldn't let me go out. His phones are always on lock. I just searched his truck and found girls lotion. My son Told my neighbor that he wanted to kill himself right before he left to the club. Keep in mind he is 5, I was devastated and asked my husband to stay and talk to him with me but he left and went to the club. Is this a good enough reason to divorce his ***?
23 Responses
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Avatar universal
He sounds like a selfish ****.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Can I ask what city your in? Because where big live in Texas the cops would have gotten cps involved already. My husband is in law enforcement.
Helpful - 0
2031435 tn?1336008840
You can get a divorce when pregnant if your marriage is broke im studying laws. If this problem is since you guys were young and up until now things havent change then that is to much Hun, you have the decision to say this is to much i have to move on. Always always have your kids first, if your unhappy ur child is gona be unhappy. Its time for you to live for them and be happy with your life so your kids can be to. Dont wait and take your son to counseling there you will know what is bothering him. Talk to him first and tell him your not always gona be waiting for him to mature you will eventually get tired. Good Luck !!
Helpful - 0
1901977 tn?1333991726
It's because they want to figure out child support as part of the divorce decree, and they can't do that if the baby's not here yet. But you can file, you just have to wait til the baby's here to get it finalized.
Helpful - 0
971074 tn?1362759766
What the hell is wrong with Texas? I agree that is chauvinistic and potentially DANGEROUS!  

I hope you can get some help for your son. It breaks my heart to hear that a 5 year old is having suicidal thoughts.

It sounds like you have  a clear perspective on what is going and what you need to do. Protect your son and your future baby. That is the priority.

Do you have family that can help you?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thats insane that u cant get a divorce while pregnant in Texas!!! Thats some serious male chauvinist bull! Maybe you can get a separation,
Helpful - 0
1901977 tn?1333991726
First of all, don't quit your job. He sounds like the controlling sort and he'll use money to control you and then you'll never be able to leave him. And I would leave him, if for no other reason than he doesn't know how to prioritize your family and your son. A woman shouldn't be the "glue" that holds a relationship together, he should be contributing to the relationship and sticking to you as well otherwise he has no investment in the relationship and he will take advantage of you, which it sounds like he does. So get out, take your son with you and get him the help he needs. The courts can work out visitation and child support, but being miserable and dealing with a miserable little boy while pregnant seems like just a sad life for you to be living. Your little guy will be happier if mom is happy, and then mom will be happy because her babies are safe and well. This dude is not worth it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds like you really don't love him any more. But no one blames you. Get your son help, have the baby, don't quit anything u don't want to, and get a divorce after u have the baby. asap. Save up while ur pregnant from the money from your job to move out after u give birth. Btw... from the sound of it, he probably only wants u to quit so u can stay home with the baby and he doesn't have to while urn at work, that way he could go have "fun." That's how it looks to me if he isthe way you say.
Helpful - 0
2008858 tn?1343844041
I think u need to concentrate on yourself and your son who sounds like he needs help ASAP! Put your relationship on hold and deal with more important things
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Fiind some help get social workers involve let them now about how your son is feeling and how stressed you feel in the relation your in...

Unless you still love him and you want to work things out .......
Maybe your just angry right now....
You have to really think about it......

Take care
Try not to stress to much because it's bad for your baby..

Xxxxx
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
That's crazy. They won't let me kick him out either. One time I called the cops on him because he wouldnt let me leave with my son cuz I was going to my friends and they wouldn't do anything. They said neither of us had to leave and we couldn't take anything with us without the others permission.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just look it up and you can't get divorse while pregnant in the state of tx
But I'm pretty sure you could kick him out for being abusive
He is  abusing you and your son emotionally & mentally ....
Helpful - 0
1839656 tn?1329183801
In Texas you can't get a divorce while you're pregnant my cousin went through that 2 1/2 years ago, they made her wait until the baby was born. You can file the papers and get everything ready though.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I live in Texas.
Helpful - 0
1959722 tn?1338778115
I think if you want a divorce get one but in some states you can't get a divorce while you're pregnant
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It sound like his cheating >:(
I know its gonna be tough being pregnant and with five year old but his not helping you at all.....

I think you should empty his drawers,
change the locks and tell him
good bye

child support immediately
I wonder  how much fun will he be having without any money :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have been the glue to this relationship for years. I'm 24 and when we were in our teens he would always cheat and I thought we were way past that by now. I sacrificed so much for our family. I got into nursing school in the state I'm from but moved out to Texas instead for his job. I gave up some of my life long dreams to be with this man and make this marriage work. I have came a long way but when is it too much. I'm tired. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and sad that I am. Everything is so separated between us. I don't have any access to his accounts, his phone, and he even has his mail sent somewhere else. I only work part time at this BS salon. He wants me to quit after I have the baby to BF, but I don't even know if I can rely on him to support us. He made 90 thousand last year and I didn't even make half that cuz I suffered from two miscarriages and moved and didn't have a job that long. When is too much? How am I supposed to make something work when the other person is to immature to sacrifice anything. He is 23 and acts 18. My son is depressed at five, he shouldn't have anything to worry about. I feel like this is all my fault for staying in the situation I'm in.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You cannot save what is already dead if it is dead... Ask your self... do u still love him? Is he worth the fight?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If i was in your shoes id divorce him. What's the point of staying with someone who treats you and the family like crap? I wouldn't want someone who doesn't love me or my children and emotionally disattatched himself to you. You deserve better. Even the bible says one has right to divorce for adultery.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its completely your decision, but if your unhappy then your kids will be unhappy as well, which may be linked to why your son made that comment. He definetly needs counseling because that statement at that age is very troubling. staying together for your kids is not the answer. You need to want to stay married because there is love and friendship there. My mom raised to children on her own and she had us at 14 and 19, with no support. As women, were much more capable of the impossible than we give ourselves credit for. Life is to short to.live in misery and with blatant disrespect.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you thought of marriage counseling maybe? Marriage is a lot of work & expecting a new baby brings on stress. He's still @ the clubbing stage , that's trouble! I'm sorry your son feels this way. Definitely address his feelings. If he is being unfaithful that's not fair to you. Have a serious heart to heart w/ him & let hubby know where you stand. I hope you can compromise & save your marriage.
Helpful - 0
362249 tn?1441315018
Only you can decide that Hun! You have to sort through all the details and figure out the best thing for you and the kids!  I do agree yall being married and having kids theres no excuse for going clubbing thats rediculous at least not like that! I stayed with my BF cus im pg also and it just didnt work so dont stay for that!! If you re not happy and your son hes obviously having problems I would at least separate and think things over and take your boy to counseling and if your hubby is interested him too! Cus divorce is a HUGE decision and life changing! but again you have to do the best for you guys maybe you can stay with your family or friend just till you can sort things out?? I did leave my BF but i knew i wasnt in love with him and i knew he was not happy about my very unplanned unexpected pg and it was the best for me i feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off me!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't believe in divorce. But that is my personal opinion. I believe you work through your problems for better or worse. BUT you both have to be willing. And while there are two sides to every story him walking out while you are trying to talk to him about his son would make me upset to.
I can't tell you to get a divorce only you know in your heart what you have to do. My husband and i have been together for 10 years and I'm 24 and he's 26. We have been to you know where and back. It  takes both of your commitment. But if you already have one foot out the door and you don't feel he's in it then why stay...
What do you want to do? Are you financially stable to be on your own? Not saying this offensively. But some women stay for that reason. Not saying you are. Are you now staying because you are expecting? If you are unhappy a baby isnt going to fix it. It might make things worse. Please tell me how your feeling.
Helpful - 0

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13167 tn?1327194124
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