sorry just need to vent.

[pregwith5th786]

I live in a 2 bedroom flat with my other half n 2 boys. I'm due oct with my 3rd. My husbands brother has come from back home he has a wife and 1 daughter 2nd baby due august. At the moment they living with my sis in laws family.
My husband has just told me today they will b living with us from now on. Believe me my SIL is too lazy to help me around with the house chores n always complaining about her aches n pains and its really annoying.
I delivered a stillborn last year august n I was hoping to stay stress free n try to rest as much as I can this pregnancy but I Dont think I will b able to if I have these people around me.
I just can't imagine 7 people living in a 2 bedroom flat and two babies on their way that makes 9 of us.
Am I just overacting n stressing over nothing? What would u ladies do if u had to go through this situation?
I'm really not happy about this thing and I Dont feel comfortable them living with us
Sorry about the vent but I would really do with some advice.

[Chima7]

I'm all for helping out family in a bind cause I couldn't turn away my brother if he was homeless. But at the same time you're talking about a very small space and that's a lot of people in such a tiny space.  If it was just a temporary thing with an expiration date like a month or two then I'd deal with it. But from what you've said it sounds like he's just moving in the family with no plans to leave. Is that the case?

What's this guy's story? Why are him and his family homeless? And what's the plan?  I think instead of telling your husband no, you should approach it from the standpoint of: What is the plan here? What is the brother going to do in order to get his family their own place?  Ask him about that and see what he says because that's the key here. If you know his brother is working on getting his own place then you know it's only temporary. But if not then you need to know that too and I think you should seriously consider moving to your parents house until the brother and his family move out or something.

[Rachel__grace_]

Yikes. That's something that should be discussed and agreed upon between you and your hubby beforehand, not just told to you that this is how it is.
Besides that, I guess it all depends on the terms of the living situation. Is it just for a couple  weeks until they get their own place? Can you have them stay in your living room (which is still not ideal, but at least they eouldnt get too comfortable staying there) so you dont have to sacrifice your boy's room?
Maybe you need to contact them and tell them yourself that you are not ok with them coming to live with you (if your hubby wont tell them himself).

[BrittBaxter]

What do you mean he TOLD YOU they were going to live with you from now on?! That is your home just as much as it is his and you have just as much say. I agree that he needs to put his family first and if he won't do that then you and the children will find other accommodations. That shows blatant disrespect and uncaring on his part and I would be wondering what kind of example he is setting for our children being that he doesn't respect his wife as a partner. My husband helped with this comment and he feels the same. Good luck honey!

[RockRose]

Why can't his brother manage to find a place to stay for himself and his family - and not mooch off everyone all the time?  If he needed help for a few months,  I could see that happening, but it seems crazy to allow him move in permanently.  

Does your landlord enforce occupancy capacity restrictions?  I can't imagine a property owner allowing 4 adults and 5 kids to live in a two bedroom flat permanently.

[MommyDiamond]

I think you should talk to your husband and tell him how annoyed you are.  You simply cannot have all those people in one house especially a 2 bedroom. You are a mother to be and have your own family to take care of. Yes it will be a lot of help with bills and such but don't risk your sanity just to make others comfortable

[jakki2807]

Do what's best for yourself and your own children. If them staying is going to stress you out then suggest that if they stay then you and the kids will find other accommodation! It's harsh but I bet it gets him to reconcider things. It's not good you all living on top of eachother in cramped living conditions especially with two pregnant woman staying there! I live in a two bedroom house with my partner and my daughter and when my partners son sleeps over we have to rearrange sleeping arrangements due to lack of space so I don't know how he thinks all of you are going to fit! Best of luck to you anyway and I hope you have a happy, stressfree successful pregnancy! :) x

[pregwith5th786]

Ok I just had a word with my husband about his brother n his family come to stay with us. He thinks 2 bedrooms r more than enough for us. Iv also told him about the SIL how she is always moaning about her aches n pains he reckons I should ignore her. I just told him I can't tolerate another family staying with us, I'm just about looking after my own family. He did seem quite cross but Im not bothered.

[nutz19]

I agree have a word and express how you do not think living with them would be a good idea. Good luck hunni x

[Dani2406]

I agree. Your husband shouldn't put you in a stressful environment, particularly after a previous horrendous experience. Speak with him & explain that you feel u need your own family time & space to bond with your own new arrival.  He should think about your own family unit first & foremost. His brother will need to find a way to support his wife & newborn. Good luck. I can only imagine how hard it must be x

[flowers75]

There is no room to accommodate any more ppl. Your husband want to help out his family,  but I think he should think about his family well being first.  I would be so mad, it won't happen under my watch. That inconsiderate to you, you have the right to voice your frustration.  Good luck mom.