Mother in laws!!!

[Tricia0818]

I'm so over my mother in law! She lives with my husband and I. She knew when we got our own place that if she threw a pity party and left her boyfriend my husband would feel bad and let her move in. She barely worked when she moved in , and we told her she needed to find a better job to help with bills or babysit our boys so I could work. She went looking for a job which is fine but she refuses to pay bills and help clean the house. Then has the nerve to ask us for money!!!! Now she has stolen my tweezers , no big deal but don't say you went and bought them when I know you took mine to use because you asked me! I'm over it, I'm 21 weeks pregnant and I have two kids already. I don't need to be taking care of an almost 50 year old woman who needs to stop depending on her kids to take care of her because she is too damn lazy and won't take responsibility for her own actions and fix her problems ! I feel like this woman just doesn't stop. She tries to tell me how to raise my kids, which most mothers do! But when you have up two of your kids to their dad because you didnt want them and now you expect them to do so much for you!!! My husband doesn't know what I do because he knows she has no where to go and he doesn't want to look like a butt for kicking her out but when does it end??? Sorry I had to vent!

[specialmom]

Sounds really hard.  I WILL say that your partner sounds like an honorable man.  That's the kind of guy you WANT To be with.  The kind who feels loyal and responsible to the people in his life.  So, cherish that.  And try to support him.   I know this is really hard and I would hate it as well.  

What can you do to help encourage her?  Maybe you and your husband could right out a budget.  Think about how much you would like her to contribute and don't leave it open ended. let her see the bills.  Make it all very real.  Let her know how much your partner brings in.  And then give her an amount that she needs to pay.  And have a date by which she should start paying.  I would write it out and have that amount for three months with the option of requesting more after that three months.  then she knows what is expected in black and white.  Have a family meeting.   Go over this.  If she can not find work, then her 'rent' will be her babysitting.  Explain it to her officially and then act on it.  If she isn't babysitting and working, then you present her with a move out date and you can tell her that you'll help her look into welfare to support herself since she refuses to work.  But that you have two kids, one on the way and money is too tight to also pay for her at this point.  You love her (or your partner does) and want the best for her but have to be realistic.  

Then  make a division of labor chart.  Have jobs for yourself, your partner AND her spelled out.  Hang it up in the kitchen.  

It's hard.  No, not al mother in laws are terrible as stated above.  That's very untrue.  And having someone completely out of your life hurts----  even when we don't know it.  So, hopefully this can be worked out.  I certainly can understand how you feel---  this would really bother me too.  Hopefully it can be worked out hon. good luck

[Rahina20]

I'm sorry that you are going thru that . Mother in law will always be a pain in the ***. Thank god I don't have that problem because mine never wanted to meet me. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and we never seen each other, thank GOD. Good luck Tricia