My marriage is over :/

[syddie95]

So that horrible moment hits you that your marriage is actually over. But, it's because you don't put up with him calling you stupid, dumb a$$, idiot, etc...he told me after Simon is born he's going to hit me....I told him to leave and not come back. I said since you hate me so much I dunno what's keeping you here....and he called his mommy and he's gone. Good ridence I say farewell...I need to know though since I'm married do I have to put his last name on my son's birth certificate? Also I don't have a job or a house of my own, but how would I get custody of my son?

[RockRose]

syddie,  you need more help than the support of the board can give you.

Call a battered women's shelter and ask for their contacts to help you find housing,  WIC if appropriate,  free or inexpensive legal advise.

And if you think you can get the support of his brother by telling him that your husband threatened to hit you in the face when the baby is born,  tell him.  You need help.

Who knows - the brother may be a polar opposite of your husband and may help you out awhile.

[Nikkitaylor3696]

No judge will give a newborn to the father unless the judge himself sees you shoot up heroin or something. I hope it all works out for you!

[Sammywa]

You can get financial help through the state, and you will get custody because that is not safe for the baby when he even threatens to hit you and cause domestic violence. See if where you are has TANF or other stuff like that for solo moms or needy families. Its very VERY hard for a father to prove a mother unfit and courts more likely than not side with the mother.

[syddie95]

Dang :/ but as far as him being a new born they won't take him away? So I could have that extra time to get the divorce and his name changed correct?

[Nikkitaylor3696]

The baby is automatically  his weather you put him on the birth certificate or not. File for divorce. In the mean time he can and will get to see him if he goes through court. If you say he threatened you he may get supervised visitation. You can't put your maiden name on the birth certificate. It's not your legal name anymore.

[syddie95]

And I'll get custody even if I don't have a job or actual living situation? I don't have a way to pay for the divorce and he's not going to put any money towards it he has "better things to spend money on" and being 10 weeks till my due date not many places will hire me....

[syddie95]

Oh no he's so not. I made a HUGE mistake the day I married his worthless a$$!!!

[syddie95]

Well I guarantee as soon as I say he said he's going to hit me in the face when Simon gets here his brother will be on my side...his mommy will be forever on his side cause he does no wrong....-_-

[imfinallypregnant]

Well if he left you you can file for divorce and say he abandoned you and your kid and you will for sure get custody.. If you dont have family You can go to like a social service agency and they can help you get housing for free if you qualify they might be able to help you at least until you find a job. Good job for not putting up with his S H I T.. He's not worth it

[Sammywa]

That is a tough spot. Try to get some of his family or brother on your side to make it easier for you and baby

[Sammywa]

Yeah that is not okay. And Mommy's do better anyways! He doesn't need a dad like that. I would try looking into a lot of stuff now so by the time he is born he can't have much access to the baby if at all. Neither of you need that.

[syddie95]

And the thing is our house is on his brothers property. ..so I dunno how all of this will go down..

[syddie95]

No he doesn't I don't want his name on the birth certificate even...I don't want him within 100 miles when I give birth to my son. He doesn't deserve him...he said to me okay so when he gets older and he's wondering who his daddy is ....I yelled I'll tell him he's no good and not worth your time. I could raise Simon up to be a respecting man but if my husband was in his life this little boy will think it's okay to call his wife a b*tch, stupid,etc...not to mention have no more respect for me than a disrespectful 4 year old -_-

[Sammywa]

Change the locks and don't give him a key and you can try getting a restraining order based on his threats and that you don't feel safe for you or baby with him around

[Sammywa]

You probably out your last name now unless you get a divorce before baby is born. You could put both tho, his last name then your maiden name. But I just wouldn't put his name on it, he doesn't deserve it.

[syddie95]

And he has a place to go easier than I do, he can go live with his parents which live like 5 minutes away -_- so I am scared he'll come while I'm sleeping one night and steal Simon from me :/

[syddie95]

Well I told him that I am NOT leaving this house, that this is mine and Simons home and if he hates it so bad he can find somewhere to go I have no where else to go I have family but they don't have space for me, so I'm going to stay here and throw his s*it out takes everything in me not to burn it all -_- okay well my last name is his last name so would I put my maiden name?

[camillmill]

Make a log of what he said when.he said it!

[camillmill]

I am so sorry your going.through this keep calm head up for simons sake

[Sammywa]

You don't have to put his name on anything, and states usually side with the mother anyways. If you have any proof of anything you've said then keep it for court. Just have a stable house and even getting help from the state is better than nothing. Good luck and I'm very sorry

[camillmill]

No you dont.... do you have family.and.or.friends you can stay.with? Explain the threat he made that he is violent say you dont feelnhe is capable of.taking care of.him... they cant take a new born away from his mother! He needs you