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Avatar universal

No sex drive?

I posted a few days ago about being a single mom. Well he decided to come back. An my family is being more nice than they were. But I really feel like ne an him r on two different pages. He want sex a doesn't quite understand y I don't. I am a high Risk pregnancy an it makes extremely nervous. This is my 4th an even though I have only see the dr once he  told me not to risk it right now. An on top of everything  I don't have a sex drive at all. But he's still  insist  that as long as we're easy it will be ok. An I was trying to be nice an explain it's just not safe at the moment. But he kinda made me mad so I went off an told him even if I could I wouldn't because I don't want to. An he says I'm that it shouldn't  always be just cuz I want it that he has needs to. I understand he has needs but y should I care if he doesn't care about how I feel? Any other women  not want anything to do with sex? An if so wat do u do about ur man?
7 Responses
Avatar universal
I understand where you're coming from, it's not easy being in the mood when pregnant. I must say though, you do have to think of him too. Men are different than women and ignoring his sexual needs is disrespecting him and hurtful. Even if you can't have sex find other ways to help him out. It's only fair
Avatar universal
See I don't get how it fair. I mean it not like that wat we were made for is to give him pleasure. I mean  personally I could care less about sex even before I got pregnant an the only reason I did was for him. So I think that he should  be respectful of the fact that I can't nor do I want it right now. An I shouldn't have to please him in other ways that I don't even enjoy just because I can't  have sex. But maybe that's just me
Avatar universal
I completely understand why you don't want to have sex right now. You have a high risk pregnancy and your boyfriend should understand.
You said you weren't interested in it before you got pregnant. There could be several reasons for that. Low hormones, being upset with him, just several reasons. Do you think that's a problem? You being upset with him? Most women do not want to have sex with their partner if they're not feeling loved by them.
I do kind of agree with the above poster. Think about putting yourself in his shoes. He wasn't able to have sex but you wanted to. There are other things the two of you can do that does not involve intercourse.
It would be great if the two of you could get in to couples counseling. There are 3 children already involved and another child on the way. They deserve to have a stable environment. You deserve to be happy and it seems that you have an up and down relationship with your fiance. There's also the problem with sex. Counseling can be a wonderful thing.
Avatar universal
Like I said I understands where you're coming from but you have to be realistic. Men's sex drive is completely different from women, completely. It's a biological difference and you can't blame him for his urges. If you are not willing to accommodate him, he is going to find it elsewhere, whether he leaves you for someone else, cheats,  or develops a crazy porn addiction. I'm not trying to be mean, this is a martial thing that every couple will experience at sometime at some level. There has to be communication and reciprocity to overcome challenges like this. Do some research about the male sex drive so you can better understand where he is coming from before you blew him off. It does sound like you have other issues besides sex, but this is what your question was about so this is what I answered. Regarding those issues I agree you should seek therapy to resolve those. You can't find that kind of help on a blog, you'll end up getting more bad advise than good advise.
Avatar universal
Thank yall for your answer me an him sat down an had a long talk an I understand were he is coming from an he understands my concerns with sex an being high risk .... an I get he has urges so thank yall for ur input
13167 tn?1327197724
Your name just changed a little bit.  ??  

I agree,  you don't have to give anyone sex that you don't want to,  but it's unlikely he'll stay in a relationship if he's not ever getting any sex.

So it's kind of your choice.  I think all men understand it for a while when there is a problem,  and they're usually willing to wait somewhat patiently if there's a temporary health issue,  but it sounds like you've decided you just don't ever want any kind of sex anymore,  which men won't understand.

So if you want him to not leave again (maybe you don't care,  which is understandable) you probably should consider being his sexual partner.
Avatar universal
An thank yall for ur opinions an me an him talked an he understands that there's a medical reason we can't have sex at the moment but I have an appointment the 23 an we r going to talk to the dr ..... an as for after I have this baby of course we will have sex just not everyday
I'm glad to hear you two are talking. Communication is so important. He needs to know how you feel and you need to know how he feels. I think you've gotten some really good advice here. It sounds like he loves you but men do indeed have urges. If everything is going better with your pregnancy your Dr may give you the okay to have intercourse. If not, like I said earlier, there are other ways to please each other. If you didn't care for sex before you got pregnant maybe he's not doing things you like. Communication is important in every part of a relationship, even the bedroom. Please keep us up to date on how things are going with your pregnancy and what your Dr says.
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Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
13167 tn?1327197724
Austin, TX
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