You're the only one who can decide what your limit is. But personally I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to any kind of domestic abuse. I literally don't care what his excuse is. If any guy hit, pushed, shoved, choked, slapped, or in any other way physically hurt me I would be out the door and would never come back. That's my policy. I don't allow disrespect. I was raised better than that.
I understand how you feel. Every times my husband and i have arguments he tell me to leave him alone or not to hold him and of course i do not listen to him and believe me it always make things worst. Try to talk to him when he is calm and do not do anything in haste.