Pregnancy Relationships Community
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Avatar universal

Relationship Advice

My partner & I are having our first baby together and i'm wondering if any other moms have any advice about how to keep our relationship strong during the trying & stressful times of pregnancy & new baby stage. We are both delighted about the pregnancy but I want to make sure we stay as connected as we are now.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Just don't forget to love each other through it. It may sound stupid to some, but your relationship comes before your kids. You have to set a good foundation in order to raise your kids to know what a good foundation is. After my daughter, it almost seemed as if she was the favorite now. I lost all my hubby's attention to her. It was frustrating, honestly. But when I read into it, even the bible tells you that your relationship comes first. I finally talked to my hubby, and we were able to work things out. Just don't go all out about your baby, the baby is going to be your world no matter what, but love each other the same. Go on dates, spend time with him. Let him know that he means just as much as your baby and he'll do the same. Go out to eat, watch a movie, go to a park. My hubby and I are actually planning to go window shopping this weekend, then out to eat lol just don't forget about your relationship. Ever.
Avatar universal
I think communication is the key. Listen to each other when your frustrated. When I got pregnant with my daughter me and my husband now were only together for 3 months but when we had our daughter he helped as muxh as he could. Now we have been together for 5 years and are having a baby boy and we couldnt be happier.
Avatar universal
communication is everything, trust and be comfortable enough to let him know everything. I wish i would have comnunicated with mine more. We are still together and extremely happy about our baby but we have much more problems now that im pregnant than what we had before...it really *****, we love eachother alot but since we didnt communicate right from the beginning or i guess deep anough about our lives when the baby came itmade both of us stubborn, i never thought to say ehat i wanted because i thought it would go my way anyway and i think he did the same, now alot that has to do with the baby makes us argue, like where we will live, whos family will be at the birth, stuffike that....not saying that it will happen to you but communication will be the answer and try not to let the hormones take over. The guys can only take ao much
13167 tn?1327194124
Oh my gosh,  you could sell tickets to this conversation!  What a bunch of wise moms are here giving you good advise.

Love this.

Avatar universal
I am 37 weeks with baby number one. I got some good advise that I've followed and it works .... And that is to know when to shut my mouth lol. When I feel hormonal and irritable around dh, just bite my tounge and be sweet... Because he is a good hardworking guy who doesn't deserve it when I snap and am crabby because of hormones etc. I would always regret it if it happened when I felt good again shortly after because he's a good guy. I'm sure they'll be times with a newborn that I feel crabby with lack of sleep etc so plan to follow this.
And congratulations to you!
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi there.  Well, this is a subject near and dear to my heart.  So important for a man and woman to stay connected after the birth of a baby.  The issue with a baby is it becomes all consuming.  I see it on the forums even before a baby is born . . .   the world immediately begins revolving around the child.  And this is great to be in love with your child!!  That in itself bonds a man and a woman very closely together.  BUT, they have to remember to connect OUTSIDE of parenthood.  

Great to have dates.  Oh, it's so nice if you can escape for maybe 2 hours to go for a picnic, to dinner, to listen to a band play or whatever it is you like to do together.  We couldn't really attend a concert the year my sons were 1 and newborn so we had a sitter for an hour and a half---  picked up some carry out and went to the venue of the concerts----  a big outside stadium.  We sat in lawn chairs in that parking lot and ate our carry out.  I mean, we had a great time.  LOL.   Could hear the music just fine.  We would go out to dinner and make sure to be back within two hours.  And during our 'dates'--  there was no kiddo chit chat really.  It was about enjoying each other.  

We had dates at home a lot too. Put kids to bed and then light a candle and talk, play cards, watch a movie, listen to music---  whatever you have fun doing together.  

Okay, this may not be popular but I think sleeping with your child ruins intimacy with your husband/partner.  My friends who do that complain about it.  There is no boundary when you sleep with your kids between them and you and your partner.  And in my opinion, that is how partners lose their connection a bit.  Lots of people cosleep and I'm not knocking it other than to say that it does create a situation in which a couple is ALWAYS with their child and it becomes harder to relate to each other separately.  My kids had their own space and we had a baby monitor (which I didn't need as I got bionic hearing when I had kids.  My mama ears picked up everything).

Greet your partner every day they come home from work with a hello and a kiss.  And let him have a few minutes unwind time before thrusting kiddos on him. If you work, then you two alternate that ----  but still do the kiss and hug when you see each other.  

Try not to fight about little things.  When we are tired, we tend to bicker more.  And we're tired after a baby.  So, try not to let that get to you and start bickering.  

Enjoy the ride.  Parenthood is wonderful.  But it is indeed smart to start thinking about the mom/dad---  man/woman aspect t staying close with your partner so parenthood doesn't become the only thing you have in common.  good luck
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Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
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