Aa
Vent
I've had a rough life to say the least. I'm 24 preg with my 5th kid & in university. I just kicked my bf of 10 years out like 2 weeks ago. I'm stressed & kinda depressed. He's still somewhat helping but with health issues, having to get **** done around the house, cleaning, cooking, being induced in 2 weeks, etc I'm going to break down. I have no support system & I feel like I can't handle this stuff. I don't want to adult. It's harder then hell esp when you're alone. I don't have a social life & I really only leave the house to go to apts for the kids & drop off to daycare. I'm trying essential oils to get rid of some anxiety but no luck yet.
Another thought, are you a church goer?
If you live in an area with large non-denominational liberal Christian churches, that's a fabulous resource. The kind of church that has "come as you are" or "no perfect people allowed" on their websites.
Joining a single mother's group or Bible study on Sunday mornings while your babies are in Sunday school or the nursery can be a great resource for support and making a new network of caring, focused friends.
If you live in an area with large non-denominational liberal Christian churches, that's a fabulous resource. The kind of church that has "come as you are" or "no perfect people allowed" on their websites.
Joining a single mother's group or Bible study on Sunday mornings while your babies are in Sunday school or the nursery can be a great resource for support and making a new network of caring, focused friends.
Soon2be, following your story here is heart wrenching.
I think you need to see the bigger picture here. What you are coping with is too much for anyone to handle. No one could be expected to shoulder this well - so while you're looking for typical stress relievers like essential oils, etc., in this case, that won't help. That's for people who've had a bit of a hectic day.
I agree with SM that you need to make connections. I don't know how old your children are, but there are people out there in the world who will never be a grandparent who might love to "graft" you onto their family tree and help out. I see that a lot - someone says "my grandma, well, she's not my grandma actually but we always thought of her that way".
Or other single moms - you can bond together and help out, and form a support network.
Best wishes.
I think you need to see the bigger picture here. What you are coping with is too much for anyone to handle. No one could be expected to shoulder this well - so while you're looking for typical stress relievers like essential oils, etc., in this case, that won't help. That's for people who've had a bit of a hectic day.
I agree with SM that you need to make connections. I don't know how old your children are, but there are people out there in the world who will never be a grandparent who might love to "graft" you onto their family tree and help out. I see that a lot - someone says "my grandma, well, she's not my grandma actually but we always thought of her that way".
Or other single moms - you can bond together and help out, and form a support network.
Best wishes.
Hi everyone -
We've removed the offending posts, so carry on with the awesome support.
Let's remember that we are a support site. If you find you can't be supportive, it's better to just not comment.
Thanks, and good luck to you, soon2be5!
Emily
We've removed the offending posts, so carry on with the awesome support.
Let's remember that we are a support site. If you find you can't be supportive, it's better to just not comment.
Thanks, and good luck to you, soon2be5!
Emily
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hello there. To me, you sound like you are doing amazing! Having your fifth kiddo and in university, CLEARLY working very hard! Be proud of yourself sweetie!
I am really sorry it is so hard right now and you are tired and overwhelmed, I am sure. I'm glad that the father of the kids is helping and hopefully he will keep doing so. Do you have ANY family that might be capable of helping a little? Reach out to anyone you know. I know it is hard when you feel like YOU are the one who is in need and so it feels a little out of balance with people--- but don't let that stop you from asking for help. I had a friend that was having big struggles. I tried to help her with her kids, around her house and in general. I expected nothing. In her eyes it might have felt like she was doing all the taking because she was the one needing. To me, I was just being a friend. This sweet friend spent a Friday night making cookies with her kids to give to me when I showed up on Saturday to help. Honestly, that was the sweetest gesture of thanks from her! I am just writing this because you may think that people don't want to help you . . . but that may not be the case.
other single moms are also great allies and friends. You can pinch hit for each other.
Do you know anyone with kids or have any neighbors that have kids that are around 10 to 12? Okay, that age group makes the BEST mother's helpers. They could come to your house and play with your older kids while you study, rest, care for baby one here, do laundry, etc. They usually expect to be paid only a little bit. I paid our mother's helpers 2 dollars an hour. Oh my gosh, that hour or two was like heaven having less to worry about as the kids were entertained. So think of any kids in that age range who might be able to give you a tiny, well deserved break.
So, we're here for you to vent to any time. you have so much going on.
what is your surgery for? Ugh, that is too bad and at a very inconvenient time. Anyway, let me know how you are doing hon. We're here for you. peace
I am really sorry it is so hard right now and you are tired and overwhelmed, I am sure. I'm glad that the father of the kids is helping and hopefully he will keep doing so. Do you have ANY family that might be capable of helping a little? Reach out to anyone you know. I know it is hard when you feel like YOU are the one who is in need and so it feels a little out of balance with people--- but don't let that stop you from asking for help. I had a friend that was having big struggles. I tried to help her with her kids, around her house and in general. I expected nothing. In her eyes it might have felt like she was doing all the taking because she was the one needing. To me, I was just being a friend. This sweet friend spent a Friday night making cookies with her kids to give to me when I showed up on Saturday to help. Honestly, that was the sweetest gesture of thanks from her! I am just writing this because you may think that people don't want to help you . . . but that may not be the case.
other single moms are also great allies and friends. You can pinch hit for each other.
Do you know anyone with kids or have any neighbors that have kids that are around 10 to 12? Okay, that age group makes the BEST mother's helpers. They could come to your house and play with your older kids while you study, rest, care for baby one here, do laundry, etc. They usually expect to be paid only a little bit. I paid our mother's helpers 2 dollars an hour. Oh my gosh, that hour or two was like heaven having less to worry about as the kids were entertained. So think of any kids in that age range who might be able to give you a tiny, well deserved break.
So, we're here for you to vent to any time. you have so much going on.
what is your surgery for? Ugh, that is too bad and at a very inconvenient time. Anyway, let me know how you are doing hon. We're here for you. peace
You can do this! This is my 2nd pregnancy and doing it on my own again! Men just don't man up a lot now a days. It's easier to run they think. I think it is awesome your in college and raising your children. I would love to go back but can't seem to get any help.
Keeping you in my thoughts. Please seek out the help of family and friends. Maybe go stay with someone you trust with your kiddos. ... grandparents? Cousins? Someone will open their arms for you. Just look!!! :) I will be thinking of you. Don't reconnect with that guy if he is unreliable. ... not helping out with the kids..... etc. You don't need that. Maybe someone can help you get a good job too. You can do some jobs in thr medical field that pay well for a year or less od training. Ultra sound tech is just one option!!! Good luck but don't try to do this alone!!!
This is fir her to speak her thoughts and feelings. I just feel like she is not here asking for negative comments but ones that can uplift her. Honey don't let ignorance bring you down. Every relationship has problems nobody cam tell you better then you. Keep pushing live ur life and pray it gets better.
This is fir her to speak her thoughts and feelings. I just feel like she is not here asking for negative comments but ones that can uplift her. Honey don't let ignorance bring you down. Every relationship has problems nobody cam tell you better then you. Keep pushing live ur life and pray it gets better.
Things will get better! I had my older kids very very young and kids father had passed away. So basically was a baby raising a baby. U can and will get thru this. You can't always help who you fall for. And just because u take precautions don't always be in our favor. Hold your head up and do u!
And just because someone is having a hard time does not mean they are unstable .
I don't agree with you at all Mags, things happen in peoples lives and you are not in her shoes . Hey I don't have any children yet I'll be a first time mom but I can relate to life being hard and going through a lot of stuff that hasn't been happy. I'm by myself with the pregnancy as my fiancé is gone out of town he's only home one day a week as he has to work. I've basically been stuck here In a small town and I know no one . I get the depression, the anxiety ... My best advice I can give you is keep being strong and have hope that things can change for the better , because they can. Let the love for and from your children uplift you . This may be a lonely and hard time but it's not forever. . and don't listen to people who say oh you shouldn't have done this or that ---- they can say all they want but they don't know your life, what you've been thru, and your personal situation . It's easy for people to say that. I wish you the best of luck and just try to think positive , that's what I'm doing as hard as it is right now
I have to agree with mags242001. But I truly hope things get better for you that is a lot to go through! No one deserves that ;(
Wow you are a strong lady. Hey its ok if you need to cry maybe once. It feels good to let that out. You are not alone and dont worry this is just a season you will be ok in the long run when your bundle of joy arrives. It will probably take your mind away from things. Try to stay as positive as possible. Ill be praying for you and your family. Take care nd GL.
Can't forget I have to have surgery a week after baby's born.
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