very stressed out need some advice

[anita_p_]

So when I found out I was pregnant my boyfriend asked mi to abort I said no nd we had a big argument nd i was alonr when i told my parents i was pregnant nd we almost broke up he decided to stay nd help mi out
When I was in my 22nd week my boyfriend decided to talk to my parents everything was fine it was amazing our relationship was better then ever after that
He then asked mi if I could b there nd tell his parents together that im pregnant
His mom was furious nd she was extremely nasty with mi called mi a **** a ***** nd even said that I only wanted to trap her son nd force him to marry mi
its been a month since then nd things have gotten worse bc he nd I had a misunderstanding when he said that his mom wanted to take my baby away from mi he failed to tell mi that it was a joke I was scared didn't want my baby to b taken away from mi so I talked to my parents told them everything that happened how his mother initially reacted nd my parents were ready to take legal action when I told him this he explained that it was a joke between him nd his mom
My parents dont believe that it was all a joke nd r very pissed bc of the way I was treated
Now my boyfriends mom is demanding to go to my doctor visits to find out the sex of my baby when i clearly told her that i dont want to know nd she wants to meet up with my parents to talk about my pregnancy
My parents don't want to talk to her at all nd my boyfriend is mad at mi nd saying that my parents r acting like children
I dont know what to do I dont want that women there at my doctor visits nd when I told my boyfriend that he got mad still nd isn't talking to mi now
Any advice on what I can do would help

[anita_p_]

I understand what u r saying but his mom is upsetting mi bc she doesn't listen to anything that I say my parents were pissed off at first but they never treated my boyfriend badly
I decided to not know the sex of the baby when I talked to my parents when I thought that I was going to go through the pregnancy alone with my parents there for emotional support nd my boyfriend respected my decision but his mom is not having it she's like that baby is also mine nd I want to know I don't care what u decided I want to know
I dont want her there at my appointments bc I dont want her arguing with mi about finding out the sex of my baby nd my boyfriend was like ok then it will b just u nd mi no parents but I want my mom there too bc she's my mom nd she was there for my first appointments so it wouldn't feel right not having her there

I would b willing to give his mom a second chance if she were to actually accept the fact that im gonna b the baby's mother nd that she needs to respect my decisions I would b willing to listen to suggestions but not demands
I told my boyfriend this nd he was like no u have to accept my mom for who she is nd that's not her
I feel like im the only one giving in to try nd make things work nd hes not doing anything

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, I'm going to tell you this and it is hard to hear but said for a purpose. So stay with me and don't get mad until you read the whole post, okay?  I'm on your side sweetie . . .  BUT, a pregnancy when not planned and a couple is not in a great position to be new parents is upsetting to parents.  I have hopes and dreams for my kids that do not include impregnating a girlfriend!  I hope that they attend college and get established in life, wait a bit until they are independent adults and mature and married before having a child.  If a pregnancy threatened their finishing high school and college---  I would indeed be very upset at their choices.  I'd be really worried that they'd just changed the trajectory of their entire life because they were horny.  That would be a true shame to me.  So, if blindsided and told this information, someone can react very badly.  

Then what happens is that they begin to process it.  They begin to think about it and picture it.  They warm to the idea.  They accept that it is happening and they begin to be more alright with it. They may be disappointed and worried----  that comes with parenthood.  You'll understand this some day and usually after you see how hard it is to raise a family, pay all your bills while living comfortably, etc.  You're going to want your kids to get on their feet too before entering into parenthood.  But you love your kids.  So, you also make the best of a situation.  And may still worry but open your heart to the idea of their having a child.  

So, NOW, she's opened her heart to the idea.  

She deserves a second chance just as your boyfriend did when he told you to abort.  Remember?  He also was NOT happy at first.  HE may have had plans and dreams and loves you but wasn't wanting to be a parent yet.  So, he reacted to the news.  Just like his mom.

YOUR parents surprise me for being so okay with it. I am surprised that your parents could not understand how his mother feels.  There is no legal action to take for someone saying they want to take your baby.  That is not illegal.  FYI.  That was kind of an overreaction on your parents part.

I'm sorry his mom reacted in an ugly way and took things down the path of insulting you.  That was uncalled for as her son also was a partner in sex.  But parents try to protect their children and they were worried.  Your parents should understand that.  And I guess that their anger and overreaction is part of their trying to protect YOU.  

so, your folks and his are the same.  Give his mom a second chance.  I think if you don't, it will never work between you and the father of the baby.  Because family rifts are horrible to live with and he's young enough, he still views his mom as his family and won't just drop her for you.  :>)  so, you also need to process it, make the best of it and move on.  good luck

[anita_p_]

Bump