anyone dealt with/dealing with...

[humboldtmommy2be]

So has anyone dealt aheroin addict babiesdad? he relapsed right before we found out i was pregnant, and there is now only 25 days left until baby is due,and he's only gotten worse, he got into a program that was supposed to help with his addiction but instead itz only helped him continue his addiction. I've had hundreds of dollars come up missing over the past few months. when i ask about it he flips. he almost died a year ago from using,n now he's back there. I've held on because i want my child to know his father, but I don't think i can anymore. any advice on how to not cave in, i always seem togive in and help him allbecause he is the father of my child. i feel like I'm going crazy.

[M_and_K_forever]

If he almost died a year ago from it Why did you let him impregnate you?? Bad decision...

[humboldtmommy2be]

i have distanced myself quite a bit, but it is so hard, but at the same time every time i see him i just don't feel anything anymore, he's not who i met any more, i hearhim tell me sorry every day for the same thing, I've told him i will not have him around if he's using anddoesn't get back into a program. But this is the hardest thing I've ever done. i never thought my child would be without his father. Im so heartybroken but  i know i need to do what Is rightfor my son.

[specialmom]

You need him out of your life sweetie.  I'm really firm about this.  Addiction means he WILL put his drugs over and above you and the baby.  He's not safe to have around your home.  He'd steal from his own child for his habit.  And heroine addiction is a tough one.  The issue is that even if he gets off heroine, the relapse to another substance is huge.  It's often a life long battle.  

He's not safe to have at your home or near your baby and you need to court order supervised visitation only.  (and not supervised by you but by a third party).

I loved and addict.  I left him and never looked back.  I love myself too much to live on the roller coaster of addiction.  And as I've never felt love like I do for my kids, I would NEVER subject them to experiencing life with an addict.  It's no way to live.  Kids need a stable, safe home with parents that are completely present.  

so, I can ONLY advise you to leave this relationship as soon as possible.  good luck

[jlrojas]

Here's my advice... That baby and its wellbeing needs to be your first priority. A drug addict dad isn't a good role model, not reliable or responsible.. They always put their addictions first.. You also need to think about the legal aspect of it.. If he is around the baby while he's high you could risk losing your child.. Meaning family services or worse ( ppl on drugs are unpredictable) .. What you need to do is Pray and ask God for help and also put distance between the daddy n u.. The missing money... Well we know where it went... That was money for ur baby.... I will pray for you and I hope u figure out what u r going to do. God bless.

[twinstwins]

From personal experience, they don't change. It took my bd to go to jail several times for me to get over him. He stole from everyone, including me, bc he couldn't keep the needle out of his arm. He has NOTHING to do with my daughter. As u will come to find out, it's better that way. U don't have to worry about the in & out of ur baby's life... if he's scoring with ur kid in the backseat. It's not worth it. U have to stop enabling him. It's hard hard hard when ur love someone, & u had this perfect idea of a family. There are men out there, that will love u & ur baby as their own (I found mine). U don't have to go thru this. Ur gonna have to cut him off completely though. I pray ur strength. It's going to take some to do this!

[carlyfarrell2]

I think that if he wants to get better and be be a man & a father for you and the baby he will make it important to take the correct steps to stop. But, nothing will change someone who doesnt want to and you got to decide is this the first man/ father figure I want my child to see and grow with... to learn from. Its about you and the baby...

[nuala76]

My mother was/is an addict.  She never gave it up.  She's lost most of her family,  her missing license,  is consistently behind on rent,  on her fifth  marriage,  and generally,  nobody puts up with her anymore   I genuinely wish I had not allowed her back in my life.  I grew up without a mother,  and she's still not a problem.    from personal experience,  it isn't worth knowing him,  for your child.  My father talked me into letting her back in,  and I wish I wouldn't have listened. The more your clean up after them,  the more you enable them and the more they expect,  assume they deserve what you do,  to keep them afloat.  Won't do you any favors,  I promise.  Take him back if f he gets clean.  Otherwise,  take care of you and your child.