Aa
bf problems
I'm 12w+5 and I'm a ftm....I'm super excited but I'm having problems with the baby's dad ...he used to be abusive never punched me but verbally and would throw me slam me hold me down etc...he would beg me to forgive him and then always find a way to blame me sometimes I believed him if I had slapped him or yelled or anything I would believe it was my fault but other times I literally did nothing and it would happen...it didn't happen a lot and it was random ....he stopped for a long time and we found out we were preg I was thrilled I thought everything was great we still argued a lot but always worked it out then one day about a month ago he got mad andwas screaming at me wouldn't let me get passed him so I slapped him he grabbed me by the throat and and slammed me into the wall then I tried to run and he did it again the threw me on the floor and I started screaming about the baby he said it was my fault he wasn't hurting the baby to shut up I left he apologize d for weeks I finally gave in I was to scared to do this by myself I had quit my job bcuz he said he could support us and I'd been so sick and my job refused to work with me ...he hasn't been violent since but he's either extremely sweet or rude and demeaning and idk what to do ...we are in an old apartment and the smellakes me throw up I can't cook iv tried and end up in the bathroom and cleaning does nothing to help the smell he won't help me look for another apartment even though the lease is up in Feb and tells me I'm lazy and never do anything... I always let him use my car to go to work (he works 12 hours) bcuz his truck is always broken down which leaves me without a ride and without food unless I get a ride to my moms ...anytime I get any little bit of money he expects me to pay for his gas and food ...he leaves his dogs in the apt and expects me to take care of them I can barely hold one of them and he almost makes me fall down the stairs every time I let him out they both have to be let out on leashes ....he has another place for them but won't take them because he says its more work for him I love dogs and so I continue to try and take care of them bcuz I refuse to leave them in a room to suffer but they have scratched all the paint off the doors and put a hole in the wall and the lease is in my name but he doesn't care ....he won't clean the room they sleep in says I need to even though it needs to be bleached and I can't do that ....he says I don't appreciate him but I do he has paid the bills for about two months but before that I paid them and he lived there for about four months for free ....we got into another argument and when I finally managed to get out of the house he wouldn't let me leave I came to my moms I no I am hard to deal with and I can't get as much done as I normally do but I try ....I really just want to be done but I'm scared to do this by myself ...am I in the wrong? What are yalls opinions ( I don't think he would ever hurt the baby) he's 21 should I leave or stay
You need to leave. He's going to hurt that baby too..please leave and live with your mom.
Lllleeeeeaaaavvvveeeee him.!!!! That's all i have to say.! && if he abuses the doggies too && doesn't take proper care of them report that! They don't need to suffer neither! && honestly your baby is better off without him... no need to have an abusive dad.. the heeellll with that!!!
U need to be done w him u will be better off on ur own if he's like that while u r preg just imagine how hel be after u have baby and how he may treat ur child .. I was in a relationship like urs for 7yrs only diff is we never conceived a child together .. life is so much better now ! U need to protect u and ur Little one. It may be hard doing it on ur own but itl Def be worth it and ul kno u and ur baby r safe .. it's hard but u can do it momma keep ur head up !
Thats why we are here. We are here to help mommas when they need us. When/if you leave and it gets hard write us. We are here to listen and give advice. Good Luck.
Thank y'all I really appreciate it I want to leave its just hard which isn't an excuse the baby is giving me the extra push I need to get out....yes my family will help me Thanks for the support :)
Just leave hun they don't ever change
This was hard to read. I would leave. You have your family. You stated that you go to your moms a lot and if she wasnt there for you she wouldnt let you come over and eat. Not being rude. But it sounds to me that he doesnt want to be alone because he will have those responsibilities to do by himself. Lol. The situation your in now will just worst when your sweet baby is born. I'm not saying he will hurt the baby, but he doesnt have enough respect for the mother of his child.
Its hard I understand, but leave him. For the sake of your innocent baby. Your strong. I hope for the best for you and your child.
Its hard I understand, but leave him. For the sake of your innocent baby. Your strong. I hope for the best for you and your child.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ugh, hard to read. Guys like this don't get better over time. The pattern is that they get worse. And you've just committed yourself to some level of involvement with him for the next 18 years. AND, he could bring his same flavor of verbal abuse and aggressive physical nature to your child.
Sadly, you are best to cut your losses right now and permanently while documenting the abuse to try to curtail any type of custody he might seek. If he is violent, that's a deal breaker and he IS violent. I've never been pushed, body slammed or held down before in my life. If it happened once, I'd consider that violence and be out of there. I am encouraging you to think about this is the way a healthy emotional person would which is to see this as violence against you and to get yourself out of their for your sake and our babies. Don't sugar coat it. That's how women end up in long term domestic violence situations.
good luck
Sadly, you are best to cut your losses right now and permanently while documenting the abuse to try to curtail any type of custody he might seek. If he is violent, that's a deal breaker and he IS violent. I've never been pushed, body slammed or held down before in my life. If it happened once, I'd consider that violence and be out of there. I am encouraging you to think about this is the way a healthy emotional person would which is to see this as violence against you and to get yourself out of their for your sake and our babies. Don't sugar coat it. That's how women end up in long term domestic violence situations.
good luck
I watched my mom have a relationship like that for 18 years because she thought it was best that her children grow up with a father. I got older and I also became mentally and physical abused because I didn't condone his actions. He couldn't cage me like he did my mother.
He's inabeling you, just having you there in HIS apartment and taking YOUR car is the start. The abuse will never get better, reguardless of what he says or does. He is a prime example of what my "father" is. I haven't talked to him or seen him 8 years, I have forgiven him but he's just poison. Do you not have any family? He wants you to "rely" on him. You're going to be isolated before you know it, even more so than now. It's going to be a sick twisted cycle, girlfriend. Don't live your life in a hell, you don't need a "man" like that in your life. Please for your sake and babies,get out now.
He's inabeling you, just having you there in HIS apartment and taking YOUR car is the start. The abuse will never get better, reguardless of what he says or does. He is a prime example of what my "father" is. I haven't talked to him or seen him 8 years, I have forgiven him but he's just poison. Do you not have any family? He wants you to "rely" on him. You're going to be isolated before you know it, even more so than now. It's going to be a sick twisted cycle, girlfriend. Don't live your life in a hell, you don't need a "man" like that in your life. Please for your sake and babies,get out now.
If hes choking you he could stop the baby heart beat get up and leave hun you can do so much better
You need to leave, clearly he is physically and emotionally abusive and hr is unstable. I have my degree in psych and this is classic. You dont think hell ever hurt the baby? That doesnt sound like a 100% positive to me ... If hes.willing to choke you and put you through this stress during your pregnancy, i cant imagine how itll be when the baby arrives. Get out while you can. Best of luck
You really need to leave him... With what you said I don't think he cares of you and neither the baby! It sounds like he's just using you and since you seem like a good girlfriend he's taking advantage of that! That is not a healthy relationship and when the baby gets here it's going to affect him negatively. You can absolutely do it on your own. It won't be easy at all but you can do it if you really propose it to yourself. And plus, you and the baby will be safer (: Don't be scare... I don't think he's that tough of a man if he's hurting you verbally and physically like that. Good luck hun, I really wish you and your baby the best!
GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. think abour your child and leave him. If he hurt you even when pregnant whos to say it wont happen again and whos to say he wont hurt a crying baby if it sets him off. Please leave. No one deserves that and if you feel you didnt have a big enough reason to leave him before, you do now. That precious little bundle inside of you needs loving and protecting and the best way you can ensure that is by getting out of that abusive relationship!!
You need to leave for several reasons: 1. If he did it before he will keep doing it. 2. Just because he said he didn't hurt the baby doesn't mean he didn't, any fall you have runs the risk of hurting the baby. 3. All he is doing is stressing you out which isn't good for you or the little one, he should be trying to make you as stress free as possible not cause more of it. 4. No man should lay his hands on a woman in a violent way, even if you lay your hands on him first, he should be man enough to walk away. You are not alone, there are groups for single mothers everywhere.
I understand I been in similar situation ..its best to just leave!
Oh my.. you made me literally wanna cry for you. I used to go through that with an ex. You will know your worth in due time. You really dont need him as much as he may say he loves you or you love him.. if you dont leave now he is just gonna keep taking advantage. Dont let it ruin you or your babys life. You can find better hun. You will. Someones whos gonna learn to love you the right way. Someone who wont abuse you. If you dont escape now you can risk losing the baby. Right now all that matters is you and the baby.
You should leave cause its like he dont care about u or the bby like he could do it one day and you could lose the bby wit al the stress u should go and put ur baby frist then he mite cop on cause the more you take it from him he keep doing it cause you keep forgiving him thats why hes doing think of your bby get up and leave
You should leave him its like he dont care about u or the baby he could do something and not mean it and you could lose the baby you should go and put your baby frist you can do it on your own and you will thank yourself in the end
Leave. He sounds like a complete abusive ******* and doesn't deserve you pr your baby at all. By hurting you, he's automatically putting your baby in danger. If he hurts you, what's going to stop him from hurting your baby? He'd probably just apologize a lot and say he didn't mean to but that'd be a load of bull. Just take care of yourself and your baby.
How old r u
I would leave a man should never hit a woman and then they try and blame the woman and say u made me do it no tf u didn't yes u can do it alone some women mess themselves up thinking they need a man yes it would be great if he helped out but surely u can do it.
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