daughter won't acknowlege I'm pregnant?

[urbanjewel]

I'm 39 and pregnant with my 2nd child, my daughter is 16 and won't acknowledge I'm pregnant.  My husband and I wanted to talk to her about it but she kept saying she was busy. Finally had a chat with her alone showed her the ultrasound and she just got up and walked out of the room. I'm now 25 weeks and showing but she doesn't seem to care or even notice. Should I try to talk more or just leave her be? Its clear she's not happy but is there anything I can do, I don't want to upset her.

[Lucy_Amor]

Perhaps she might be felling left out with all the baby excitement.  Give her time, she will come around. Once the baby is born I'm sure she  will love him or her.

[faith807]

That must be heart breaking for you. I hope your daughter comes around shows love and support to you and the new little addition.  
I'm 20 wks along with my second child and SHE is due to arrive on my son's 18th birthday!
My son has been nothing but loving, supportive andreally excited to have a little sister.  I'm feel so blessed..

[hersheyma]

I have two teenagers and a pre teen, truthfully it's All about how you raise your children and what they know they can get away with, we will not always agree on everything but you will not be disrespectful, walking away when I'm talking,  theres no such thing as them not having time to hear what I have to say, my kids can get mad All they want it's not gonna change a darn thing

[Isthatyoubob]

She provably thinks she's an adult so you could try talking to her like one?  Try saying, "I know you're mature enough to talk about this rationally and am interested in what your thoughts and feelings are".   Call her bluff then she can't behave like a spoilt teenager.

[brimorais]

I agree with choegc1023. My daughter was the only child for 18 years and i would never think that that was enough reason for her not to accept a sibling and ignore me. She can be jealous all she wants and shes also grown and needs to understand what the word respect means.

[JulieKuhnert]

Imo I don't think it's disrespect, or it's not meant to be, I think it's hurt. Yes the mom is hurt, but so is the Teen girl. As parents were tend to think our teens should just accept anything we throw at them, and forget they have feelings and emotions too.

I'm just looking at this from more her point of view, she's been an only child for 16 years, she's an overly emotional teen, and she feels like she's being replaced by not only a new baby, but your husband.  Sometimes teens don't mean to be disrespectful, they just try to shut out whatever is hurting them.

[chloegc1023]

^^I would disagree, unless ur already used to being disrespected like that by ur own kid, then I can understand, probably because it's allowed, but she's grown enough to have a heart to heart.  There's nothing wrong with sitting down and talking to someone.  

[JulieKuhnert]

Trying to "make" a teen understand is like beating your head against a brick wall. The more you push, the more she's going to rebel and resent the new baby for taking her limelight.  Teens aren't the most rational beings, saying "I'm your parent and you will do this" could just make her more resentful. She isn't really doing anything any normal teen would do, she's trying to ignore the hurtful situation. She's hurt too, she probably feels like you're going to choose your new baby over her, that she's getting pushed out. Put yourself in her shoes, I'm sure you've been buying things for the new baby, I'm sure you've been talking about it. She's probably just tired of having it pushed in her face.

[chloegc1023]

I would have to agree with hersheyma.  U r the parent and ur teenage daughter is completely being disrespectful to u.  I would put and end to that asap, if I were her mom.  I would tell her how her disrespect and lack of concern for the baby makes u as the mother feel.  I'm pretty sure that if the roles were flipped and she was the one getting pregnant, she would definitely want ur support, instead of avoidance of the whole situation.  She can feel how she's feels but her behavior is unacceptable.  That's just me though, I would make her understand how she's being hurtful to u as a parent.  Maybe then she will lighten up and accept that she's going to be a loving big sister and be more respectful to u and everyone else in the house.  

[JulieKuhnert]

35 is too old to have a baby? ! Lol, I'll be 35 when I have my first.  Saddens me to think Teen girls think 35 is too old, but when tv glorifies teen mom shows, I guess it was going to happen.

As for your teens who aren't accepting of the baby, it's not really all that shocking. They aren't going to be the center of attention anymore, the area I'm  high school and will be doing things like prom and graduation and their time to shine could be overshadowed by a screaming infant. If I was their age and in their position, I could definitely understand the jealousy. Everyone gushes all over a new baby, to the first mom she's been an only child basically forever, now right when she's going to be experiencing some pretty exciting things, a new baby takes all her attention. Just give her time, she's a teen, she has a lot of emotions (weren't we all emotional as teen girls?!)

[azulita35]

I also have a 16 years old girl and a 13 years old boy i am 35 years old and 37 weeks my daughter at the begining when i told her i was pregnant she said she does not want a baby at home and that i am too old to have a baby. She also said she will leave soon to go to college after that she does not seems to care so i just leave her alone. Yesterday i told her what she will have his little bother in two weeks or less she said she needs headphones that blocks the noise because she does not want to listen to him when craying. I am hoping she will get excited when the baby arrives but we will see.

[hersheyma]

I wouldn't worry about her not liking it, and she for darn sure would not walk away from me when I have anything to say, I'm not trying to be harsh but sometimes us parents need to stop trying to be so cool with our children...

[rdeli]

Don't worry when comes she will be more excited than you. She'll a great  to her little sibling.

[TMMB]

Just leave her be. If she won't acknowledge it, so what? I'm sure you want her to be excited, but I think it has to run its course, with her, before reality sets in. She will have to aknowledge it sooner or later, but just let her decide when that will be.

[urbanjewel]

She's my only child her dad has others but she's not around them at all since we live in different states. There never seems to be a good time if I mention it she just changes the subject or walks away,  I really don't wanna make her feel uncomfortable or mad.

[brimorais]

She probably feels embarrassed. I know its stupi but that's how most teens are. He probably thinks you're too old to be pregnant...my daughter knows a girl who's mom just had a baby and all she does is spend time with her bf. I got lucky with my daughter, she's 18 and was happier than me about my pregnancy. Try to talk to her when she's not expecting, let's say you're preparing dinner and she's around and you just start saying something or ask her opinion. Try to include her. Sometimes when i want to talk to my daughter about a subject i know she doesn't want to talk about i pretend i heard a story about "this girl" and i give my opinion about the situation. Without telling her the girl is her. Lol her face is always priceless thinking "oh i did the same thing". Also try to go to the mall to get something and stop at a baby store too. This would be my approach, hopeffuly it helps.

[wayfunmommy]

Is she an only child?  This is probably causing her a lot of issues. 16 year Olds are selfish beings. She probably feels like you are completely upsetting her way of life. She'll come around. Give her time.