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Avatar universal

em i being a mean person?

Ok well im married with a toddler and a baby on the way my husband and i are living in an apartment intill we save up to buy a house well about 6 months ago his brother has been staying with us due to the fact he was far from his job and is carless and his job is really close to us so he moved in and was planning on moving out once he got fulltime well he got fired from that job and i feel sins hes not working there anymore he should move back with his mom he took our toddlers room so im pretty crowded in mine with all the toys and sins hes been here we dont have much privacy or romantic alone time its already hard with a toddler well i just want him to move out i want my privacy and we need the space with new baby on the way so em i just being a mean person and may i add he got fired cuz of his fault
25 Responses
Avatar universal
His brother brings his friends over and now his other brother comes and stays here in our living room alot i just feel like i live with guys cuz i do and it makes me feel uncomfortable i just want my home back and my privacy i talked to my husband about it but its like he feels bad cuz they are his brothers to tell them anything
Avatar universal
I don't know the whole story but if your husband feels the same then it's a no-brainer - time to move back to his mum!

But if your husband still thinks his bro should stay for a bit maybe you'll have to tread a bit more carefully to avoid stirring up conflict between you and husband and family etc. Definitely talk to your husband about how you both feel about it...
Avatar universal
Oops posted same time as you. If your husband is too scared, maybe get him to say you need them out, let him make you the 'bad guy' so they don't get too offended by him.
Or ask if it would be easier if you made the demands yourself and talked to his brother.
Avatar universal
Well we have even gotten complains from our apartments saying that its to noisey here his brother is young so are we so he is always bumping music and also hes not on our lease so they have complaint and i dont work im a stay at home mom and im home alone with his brothers all day and it makes me uncomfortable we live in a small apart so im pretty much stuck in my room most of the day and we are already tight on money and his brother is just staying not helping and his other brother lives with his mom but is always here
Avatar universal
I just feel like my husband doesnt understand me cuz hes not home all day and if his brother was working and trying to get on his feet i wouldnt mind but he got fired cuz of his fault and the only reason he moved in was to be closer to his job only not because he was homeless cuz he has a room at his moms and well i feel like this aint my home anymore its there house cuz im the only female here and i feel comfortable and my husband and i have no privacy but he doesnt seem to care but i do its getting to the point where i hate living here i really do
Avatar universal
You can't be the stranger in tour own house. Have a honest talk with your husband and remind him why his brother came in the first place and that that reason isn't valid anymore because he doesn't work anymore. Talk about the money, that his brother does not pay anything and that its all out of your and your husbands pockets but you are trying to save for a house. And talk about the space, that he is taking your toddler's room with a baby on the way and you need ypur room back. And your intimacy with your husband. Good luck
Avatar universal
And also, no i certainly do not think you are being a mean person.
Avatar universal
Oh no, you are supposed to be comfortable in your own home. Start making everyone else uncomfortable. Kids toys and stuff go back in his room. All of it. Brother in law needs house rules. His name is not on the lease, then he is the new housekeeper/nanny along with the other brother. He has to watch your child and cook and clean to earn his room and board.

~~~~~or~~~~~

You could go the passive aggressive route and make up a fake letter from the apartment complex stating that his living there is a violation of your lease and as a result he needs to leave. Google a "cure or quit" notice for a template.

Avatar universal
I'm 100% with pray4me2015
Make everyone else uncomfortable
If I were you I would have sex, f that be loud. It'll make them uncomfortable. Leave a mess, don't wash dishes.
I personally love walking around with boxers and a tank top, I'm pregnant and hot I need to be comfortable.
They 100% need to leave. Come visit once in a while but you married one man not three lol
Or suggest moving in with his mom (sounds outrageous) but hey if everyone (excluding you) really want to live together then make everyone move to a house lol
Make the fake letter
Or invite your family over and ask them to help make everyone else uncomfortable. I hope the brothers don't have a key, somehow change the lock if they do. You have to come first in your home. As well as the kids. Don't let them watch what they want on the tv you need to take over! Cry a lot idk make your "hormones" make them uncomfortable lol
I live in a one bedroom apt with husband and toddler and I'm pregnant and we are feeling suffocated as it is I can't imagine adding more people!
Avatar universal
Also just to add you need to be firm asap. Once you do get a house let it be known that it won't be a hotel. Even talk to your husband before signing a contract that you don't want anyone staying at the house at all unless it's an emergency. You need to enjoy the house to yallselves as a family, grown people don't need sleepovers unless it's special circumstances, that's just my personal opinion.
Avatar universal
Tell their ***** to leave! You are NOT the mean one. He is. He's a grown *** man taking from you and your baby. He's sad. Sorry but he needs to kick rocks.
Avatar universal
I would walk in there today and say hey you need to be moved out by the end of this weekend. I have a toddler and a baby on the way we need the room back and we can't afford this. Once it's done he won't want to stay. And your husband is already agreeing. He just doesn't want to be the bad guy. If it gets ugly call your MIL if you think she would be on your side. Tell her you need her to get his *** out! She should understand, she's had kids. And if she don't then just be persistent, tell him daily, get up at 6:30 make breakfast loud as you can, turn the livingroom tv on and let your kid go wild. Dont hold back, invite friends with kods over real early.
Avatar universal
Yeah put all of your toddler stuff back in the room .. I don't know why you took them out lol ... And if he ask why you are putting stuff in his room .. Just tell him its your toddler room and you are feeling cram in your room and walk away he doesn't need more explaining then that.. ^^ and so true invite your friends and family early in the mourning and be as loud as you can .. Don't clean up after him at all (if you are) ...... And hopefully he leave.. Cause I know how that feels it ***** ... Goog luck :)
Avatar universal
Yeah put all of your toddler stuff back in the room .. I don't know why you took them out lol ... And if he ask why you are putting stuff in his room .. Just tell him its your toddler room and you are feeling cram in your room and walk away he doesn't need more explaining then that.. ^^ and so true invite your friends and family early in the mourning and be as loud as you can .. Don't clean up after him at all (if you are) ...... And hopefully he leave.. Cause I know how that feels it ***** ... Goog luck :)
Avatar universal
Sorry auto correct lol .

Good luck!! :)
Avatar universal
He needs to go. Or give him a dead line to find another job. His bed room is not free. You and your husband is paying for it.  
Avatar universal
Im so tired of this i really want my sexlife back my privacy and my home back cuz i feel like this isnt my home anymore and if they dont leave soon its gunna start causing problems in my marriage cuz it already is and i do need that room back my kid cnt really play with all the toys cuz we had to put alot away due to space..but ima ralk to my hubby to see if he helps if not im gunna have to fix this mess cuz i cnt take anymore i talked to MIL but she didnt help at all shes just happy to have them out of her house but we are young early 20s tryna get on our feet we cnt be supporting two guys
Avatar universal
Then walk in there and say get out. You have until Monday morning. If  he has a job or not he is not your responsibility, your kids are. Girl if you were in texas I would come over there for you. My hormones scare me sometimes.
Avatar universal
Lmfao I'm with watermelon! I totally would go over and kick them out! Like for real! It's not even for the drama or anything it's funny like really they don't understand they shouldn't be "cockblocking" It may make you look like the bad guy for a while but oh well they will get over it and understand at some point. You were nice for 6 months but it's time to go, even if he gets a job it's not okay for him to live with yall anymore.  
And your husband needs to take your side because he married you and should have your back before anyone else including family.
I had my little sister stay with us sometimes but I drew the line what she could wear around my husband, she had to wash dishes take trash out etc but once my husband said he was tired of her I just had to tell her to go home lol I won't let anyone come before my marriage brothers and sisters fight so your husband should man up and not be afraid of his own brothers. Yea we love each other but yall got to go I need to miss yall lol
Or ask during dinner in front of everyone hey so blank when do you think you'll move back to your moms because WE (include husbands name) want to start making the room a nursery before the end of the month/weekend(give a date). Be firm and put him on the spot. Keep us updated
Avatar universal
Yeah I'd tell them they need to go. It isn't your responsibility to take one two men. You're definitely not mean, don't feel that way. You need to be comfortable in your own home and your kids need the space. Even if he gets a job I'd still tell him to go.
Avatar universal
I like the putting him on the spot in front of your husband. But don't back down, even if he pleads with your husband and it looks like he might cave. Be strong, and let everyone at the table know it's not a question it's a demand. Get out!
Avatar universal
Good luck hun its a really diffecult situation.I'd follow sxl0072412's first advice ,make them uncomfortable in every possible way and don't make it so obvious so no body can blame you. Although It might take time ,it's the most polite way to kick them out ^_^ .
Avatar universal
Thank u all for the advice for a sec i thought i was being mean but yeah the one thats been staying in my living room is out other one has a month to find a job and another to save up money and get out cuz i do need my space and hes really hard to live with hes young so he thinks he knows it all and is rude but i guess all i had to do was speak up but yeah im gunna make him uncomfortable everyday and in a month we will be buying a crib and ima start putting my kids stuff back in that room so he knows its time
Avatar universal
Good for you! Just stick with it, ask him every few days how the job hunt is going. Make sure he knows you are serious, and don't give in!!!
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