god parent question

[mrsmistie2]

My husband and I are trying to figure out who we would like to make our god parents we have close friends but in far away states, he automatically thinks we should choose his sister. I personally don't agree bc she is not financially stable, lives 2500 miles away and takes no responsibility in her life she's 26 and can hardly take care of her self..am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't have a great runner up compared to his sister but I think she just wants it for the title.

[specialmom]

I would definitely choose family over friends.  Many find as life goes on and we go through the different phases of it, we drift in and out of friendships.  My parents picked their best friends to be my god parents.  Haven't seen or heard from them in  years---  they moved to the other part of the country.  they never bonded with me as they weren't around me and the role of godparent was basically meaningless.  My sister has our aunt as her godmother.  They are very close and it is a special relationship.  I have my niece as my godparent and I adore her!!  My husband is his nephew's god parent and feels that way about him too.  We spend time with them.  

This is about choosing someone special to be a spiritual guide to your child's life . . .  I'd pick someone you can feel safe will ALWAYS be I their life.  good luck

[LoveCake98]

If you're talking about making people guardians of your children then you would hopefully be considering settling your estate, life insurance, etc., and planning for your children financially. So it shouldn't really matter if the person you choose is well off because they'll presumably get some of your life insurance money to raise your children with, correct?   So the big decision should come down to who you know that isn't nuts and hopefully shares your beliefs enough to be an ok person to teach, discipline, and raise your kids.  It won't matter if they live far away since your death would mean that person would have to handle many tough decisions regardless of where they live.

Also it can be a good idea to split funds and name someone else to settle your finances.

[RockRose]

Hmm.  When you say "god parents",  do you mean if something happens to you,  that person is in your Will to become guardians of your child?  That's a job you need to choose with incredible care,  because it's a serious responsibility.

If you mean "god parents" in the usual Catholic way,  where it's just a purely symbolic role,  and the god parent usually gives the god child something on their birthdays,  or occasionally does something else for them but won't be responsible for their care,  that's a completely other thing and it really doesn't matter much at all who you choose. It certainly wouldn't matter if the God mother is financial well-off.

[newbabyak]

We are in the same situation. What we finally decided is this- our immature family member is not the best choice of the moment, our friend is. However, in a few years they'll be more mature and in 40 years the family member will still be a part of our lives. Since it's more of an honorary thing these days than who's going to raise the child, when we look back when we're all in our 70s, it will have been worth it to make the family member feel special. In the meantime, we put the other person in our will as the guardian.

[kitcat2015]

I feel you because I'm literally in the same exact situation!!!  My SIL is 26, definitely not doing anything with her life, not financially secure and wants a title given to her rather than earning it.  All I can say is that the safety and security of my baby is more important than hurting someone's feelings, especially if they won't put my baby first!!

[Zally07]

I am in the same situation. With my daughter we chose my only sister and his twin brother they are both very responsible and have been great godparents.  My sister in law was so upset about it she feels like we left her out. This time we have some friends in mind they are a couple and are great parents to their daughter not only that but they are very responsible the problem is my husband feels bad because of his sister. I don't have anything against her but she us 26 years old and only wants to party are and care for her self. I only think what's best for my baby but mu husband is worried about hurting her feelings.  

[red84angel]

Oh, and we didn't worry about mileage since my husband is military. Location can change anytime

[red84angel]

We don't do god parents but we do have guardians. My sil is immature for her age even though she's mid 30's and irresponsible with her money and love life. My brother and his wife are crappy parents and also irresponsible with money. We ended up choosing my husband's cousin and his wife. They're raising their similarly aged children the way we want ours raised, are responsible, and are right with God. It took us awhile to come to that decision since we both have a sibling and felt guilty but if something were to happen to us, I want to know that my children are going to people who will raise them the way I want them raised. You just need to be honest and list your reasons like you did here

[wyattsmom2015]

You should pick the best person. The person you would actually want raising your kids. If it is friends then that is who it should be and it does not sound like his sister is too much closer;

[lkaykirk]

Hubby and I each have 3 siblings. Well out of everyone we came up with my oldest sister. My middle already has 3, my brother and his kids live with my parents. His sister isn't mentally stable and drinks constantly, his younger brother does drugs, and his youngest brother lives with his parents. So we kinda only had 1 choice. Because we want our kids to go to family but half the family isn't even allowed to baby sit. OK well mainly his siblings. So be honest with him. I was very honest with my hubby and he actually agreed.