Any single moms out there?

[Giganticproportions]

I'm 22 years old, and married for two years to my 28 year old husband.  We found out I was pregnant at about 8 weeks, and I'm currently 15 weeks and 3 days.  

He has been telling me for about two months that he is miserable with me and doesn't want me anymore BUT he wants the baby.  

I love him more than anything.  When I found out my parents told me I wouldn't be able to count on him and it recently has come to my attention that a lot of people in my family always thought he was using me.   He is from Argentina and needed a green card.  We dated for 6 months before I agreed to help him out.  

After we found out, he told me that he had booked a week tour with his band, and then a three week tour with a band that he was "filling in" for ALL THE WAY IN GERMANY.  He already bought the plan tickets (maxed out my credit card without telling me) and that he was going regardless of what I thought or felt.  I felt like this was a slap in the face. We are BROKE and we should both be working to save money for doctors, etc.  He assured me everything would be fine, that he gets stipend meals and that he wouldn't be spending any money, and that he would have rent already made.    

Today I used our last $20 dollars.  I don't want to ask my family for money because of the situation and I didn't want to make him look bad.  He didn't have rent paid, and he still spent money.  While he had been gone I have been reading baby books and making our baby registry and taking care of myself and our two dogs.  The only thing he had done with me is fight me which of course causes me stress and anxiety.  

I honestly don't know what to do.  My mind is saying leave, of course but I honestly don't know if I'm strong enough to.  I want a family, but I also have to think of what's best for my and my baby.  

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent.  

Basically, single moms, how is it?  How do you manage?  I'm terrified.  

[Roxxxy915]

Wow itotally agree w.Mamaofdeux ^ alot. Ikno life can bring up situations vry hard & we dnt except em. But remember theres tons of single moms out there & have done it alone so , why cant you? Your son needs you to b stronger than ever right now. Show em your love towards em regardless of your stress. Be stronger for them move forwards for them. GoodLuck you can do thisss!!! That husband of yers dnt derserve you.. U helped him & he doesnt appreciate what u've done for him u gave him 2 babies & thats more than enough!!

[Mamaofdeux]

My husband of four years moved out April 10th leaving me 23 weeks pregnant and our almost 2 year old son. It's not easy. The first month was terrible. I became so depressed that my mom and grandma came over every single day to make sure that I was remembering to take care of myself and not just focusing on my son. I had to go on welfare to keep the roof over our heads because my part time job doesn't cover all our bills  (and I can't get anyone to hire me at the moment because they take one look at my baby bump and make up stupid reasons why they won't hire me) I hate it. I hate feeling like I can't provide, I hate feeling lonely without someone to cuddle every night or having someone to share every single moment with. I hate not being able to depend on my ex when it comes to being on time for pick up and drop off for his visitation. I hate that at the end of the day I'm so exhausted that I can barely take time for myself. I hate the entire situation.

That being said, it does have its good sides too. I can run the house the way I want to, discipline the way I want to, do things the way I want to without worrying about my exs wants/needs/schedule. I get all the loving I could ever need from my son. I can talk to the friends that I ignored just because he didn't like them. I can make my own plans and not have to check with him if it's okay.

It's terribly hard at first. But once you come to terms with the end of the relationship and establish your own routine it gets better. It's not easy, but parenting even with an SO is never very easy. So it's just different.

Family is there to help you and support you. All you have to do is ask. Check and see what kind of support they can provide you with and check and see how you can do things on your own and take life into your own hands. You'll always find a way to make things work. It may seem impossible now but you can do it.

[ericaranae]

I had this friend who helped a guy out she loved him and yet it was like once the marriage was official he started going crazy doing drugs bringing bad people around always gone and with other girls he totally used her for his green card. She ended up divorcing him and is now happily married and has a baby with the new guy who treats her how she deserves

[Stephanie71692]

Divorce him girl! You don't need someone like that in your life. And by reading what you said to me it sounds like he was using you just to get a green card! He made you believe he was in love with you so you'd marry him so he could get a green card and now that he hasn't he doesn't care for you or help you which is messed up. Don't stay with him.

[Octmommy2015]

I hate to say it but it sounds like your family was right... at this point you are better off without him, though it won't be easy it is definitely what you need to do for you and baby, being a single mom isn't a walk in the park but you'll have your family for support and be emotionally and financially better off then if you stay with him just cause hes the dad. You have to think long term and sounds like he is just going to run you guys into the ground if you let him.