Need advice from good mommies

[KimberlyWorden]

So my this is my first time, and im only 17.. I want whats best for my baby.. So i told my boyfriend that im not comfortable with our baby staying over night without me or him at his parents. For reasons being that they smoke weed constantly, they're house is very dirty, and they're not very good with babies. Ive watched them throw a new born in the air thinking it was having fun.. Im not at all saying that they cant see him or her i just want me or him to be there to supervise.. And he doesnt agree with it at all.. We fight constantly about it.. Am i being to strict?

[Amberni]

I told my bf the same thing. He smokes cigarettes though. I told him he'd have to change shirts before he holds the baby and everything. Also, the babies not staying with him without the first few months because I dont feel he'll be able to handle being up with the baby late nights,especially since I'll be breast feeding. Maybe I'm being too overprotective ,but I just feel I need to be there while the baby is still fresh out...

[kelsobliss]

I would make a point of saying its not about "your mom vs my mom" or him vs you. I wouldn't allow a baby sitter to take my kid to a house like that and thats the bottom line. If his mom wants to come to your place where the house is the way you feel comfortable then thats an option. But,dI'd also be very direct and clear, "you may not ... around the baby." It IS your place to lay down the rules. You're the mom now. If she's not ok with that, her son can give it a shot too.dI'd start there.
Also, go with your gut. If you have a strong feeling about something, trust yourself.

[ashrefra]

Stick to your guns momma,you know what is best and you should always follow your gut! If he really wants a power struggle, you're not married and you're the mother. You have more control over the situation legally:P if he really wants to play that game I would play that card. I can't stand when people try to make me feel helpless or belittled. I know it's your man but don't mess with momma bear (;

[KimberlyWorden]

Thank u everyone this is sooo helpful

[saramay2014]

Ikr i dont want my baby at my moms either liya... she smokes so many cigs and she is not responcible at all! She gave me to my grandpa who adopted me cuz she took pills n ODed n it was either that or the state take me, she use to be an alchoholic and has done meth befor so totaly not letting her be around my baby alone. Same goes for my aunt who said shed watch the baby, um hell no! Her and her husbend do all kinds of pills and im pretty sure they do meth, she also is totaly mental like she forgets everything, she text while driving and has fallen asleep while driving with my grandpa n had a wreck!!! Luckily everyone was ok but she passed out from being up so much cause of pills! Only one who gets to watch my baby while alone is my grandpa!

[Melissa_25]

I don't think your overreacting at all. Your putting your babies health and needs first which is what your supposed to do as a mother. I'm the same way and my kids are 4 and 2 and one on the way. My husband's family all have dirty houses and don't watch kids very well so my kids don't go there without me. I don't let my kids stay with a lot of people including my own dad because he does drugs but my kids can stay with my mom or sister no problem.

[Liyahsmommy1]

I am 20 y/o also a FTM but my situation is a little opposite. My Boyfriend doesn't want our daughter at my moms without supervision either. Because she smokes a lot of cigarettes in her house and also has some other issues I will not publicly speak upon. However I do agree with him. But as far as your situation I agree with you to an extent. The house being dirty and everything like that, however the smoking weed part do you honestly think they will smoke it around your baby.!? I mean it is understandable completely.! So I don't think your over reacting.!

[lkaykirk]

Ask him why he thinks it's OK to put a baby in that type of environment.  My brother in law does drugs and we won't alow him to be left alone with our baby. Not saying he would do drugs while having the baby but it's not safe for him to have done them the night before then watch h the baby. He could pass out or something worse.

[KimberlyWorden]

Never mind i got it:

[KimberlyWorden]

Btw whats a ftm?

[KimberlyWorden]

Like my boyfriend tried saying "if the baby cant stay at my parents then it cant stay at urs when we move out" uh no because my mom doesnt smoke weed, the house is nice and clean and theres no little kids there to hurt it. hes like "u dont have more of a say than i do" when he says that idk what to say..

[saramay2014]

Im a ftm at 18... i havnt told my boyfriend yet but unless im with the baby she is not staying at his house with his parents i dont care if my bf is watching her or not. His dad smokes weed and i honestly am not worried about the weed but his dad is very abusive twards my bf and if he were to lay a hand on him while my baby was in his arms or even there id be pissed off as hell. His dad dont like me at all and i dont want the baby around him but i guess i cant keep her from his parents 24/7 i gotta let them see her i guess but yea imma be around to so no ur not over reacting