husband says I don't give him enough love?

[alicesaidwhat]

My husband told me that I'm not giving him enough affection. This happened after I told him I need more physical space on the bed because I was having a hard time being comfortable... I'm 34 weeks pregnant.
I need space.
I can barely breathe since my internal organs are being smashed, and because of this damn stuffy nose all the time I have to be a mouth breather. Nothing like having to breathe through your mouth and having some face be 5 inches away from yours....
I have to have space to roll around because I just CANNOT get comfortable. Even with my maternity pillow, it's hard!

He told me he wishes I'd give him the kind of affection I give our dog. Our dog weighs 5 pounds.... he barely takes up any space.
When I tried talking to him about his feelings, he fell asleep! So of course I got frustrated and started crying because he's not the only one who feels like they're not getting enough love! I woke up at 3 am this morning because I forgot to pack something for his lunch. I packed up his lunch, wrote him a little love note, and made him coffee.
And he's just gonna fall asleep on me when I'm trying to talk about WHY he feels like I don't love him enough.


I'm so aggravated and hurt. It's so disrespectful to fall asleep while someone is TALKING TO YOU. Granted he worked a 12 hour day, but we barely spent any time together when he came home. He just looked at his phone, watched some mtg videos, ate, and then decided to lie in bed and go to sleep.

I just wish he understood that he shouldn't be jealous of our dog. I DO love him. I just can't show him like how I used to before I was pregnant because I'm physically incapable. Besides, he got the dog for me to keep me company during my pregnancy anyway! He shouldn't be upset that we have a bond. Idk, I wish he could understand that he's not the only one who feels neglected and unloved sometimes :\.
Idk what to do anymore. 40 more days until our daughter is here.
I'm worried that if we don't solve our issues with feeling loved, it's just gonna get worse when she's born. Because all of our attention will be on her (as it should be)

But god can you imagine? He's already jealous of the dog. Imagine how he'll be when Alice is here.
What do I do?

[WifieAndHubster]

Aww, I'm so glad that you guys got to talk it out. So happy for you two. Hugs!

[BabyWidmer]

So glad you two worked it out:) Yes co-pregnancy is real:) Good men are hard to find

[alicesaidwhat]

Agreed!! I've read about Co-pregnancy earlier in my pregnancy and was in disbelief. Probably because I wasn't really experiencing any symptoms for a long time. But now I understand that it's not just MY journey, it's OURS. I don't really like to say "we're" pregnant, cause physically..it's all me lol. But emotionally, yes. We're pregnant lol.

Thank you all for being there for me! This app totally ROCKS

[Skyseyes]

Awww...glad you guys got to finish up your talk. I think all hubbies feel this way...even I feel this way sometimes.  But as long as communication is open all is good.

[alicesaidwhat]

I woke up from a nightmare that stemmed from this and it was just awful! I dreamed we kept arguing about it and that my husband tried to kill me! I woke up crying at 4 am and sure enough, he heard me and started consoling me.
We were able to talk about what he said, and how I never want him to feel like I don't love him. That it hurt me that he feels that way because I do try. But I'm glad he told me, even if it hurt.
He told me he didn't know why he said that to me, that sometimes he gets caught up in the moment and forgets all the other stuff I do. He knows that I love him. And he actually said I've been a lot nicer while pregnant than I have before lol.
I let him know that we have to make time for each other to love on one another each day, since once the baby comes we may not always get the attention we need.
He said we can get through anything together :')

Thanks for all your advice ladies!
Co-pregnancy is real!

[BabyWidmer]

(Hugs) and try not to punch your husband tomorrow. You sound like a great wife:). Maybe the 2 of you can go on a date?

[BabyWidmer]

All daddies go thru this, sadly. It will pass and he will forget about what he said. I would be furious if my husband fell asleep too (and he has before).

[WifieAndHubster]

I know my husband worries I will not pay him as much attention when the baby is born versus before we got pregnant. As it is it's hard to fix him meals sometimes because I get tired so easily, we can't have sex because I got anterior placenta previa, and my body changing worries him. But it's normal. We both know it.
What you need to remember is this pregnancy affects him as well and if he works all day long he is going to feel depress when he can't spend time with you when he wants to. It's not that he is jealous of the dog,  he is just trying to communicate his feelings with you and a lot of guys have trouble doing that.
My advice,  take ten minutes minimum to spend with him as soon as he gets home before he gets to tired and sleepy. Hug,  kiss, cuddle, just sit next to one another, talk to the baby, have him feel her move.  Any time spent together is better than none.
Send a sweet note with his lunch for him to find at work and remind him that you still care, write a message on the foggy mirror after shower so he can read it after he showers. Pregnancy affects the both of you,  he may become hormonal too because of the pregnancy. Just try to be patient and understanding,  and he will see you are trying. If that doesn't work have a heart to heart ASAP so you guys can address the issues and start working towards recovery.
Hope this helps. Best wishes and I'll be praying for the four of ya.

[freechild]

You brought tears to my eyes. God bless you all and be strong. Send him sweet text messages during the day like I miss you so much etc.