im really getting upset

[nana101312]

I'm 13weeks and my boyfriend keeps telling me shut up that I always nag . I just want him get off the Xbox and help clean the house Idk why but ifiI bend over and over my stomach gets sharp pain and I have to rest but he don't understand now I feel like he keeps disrespecting me and I just cry because it hurts and I don't wanna leave with a baby on the way .  Any advice ?

[specialmom]

I am a stay at home mom and don't think it is MY job exclusively to take care of the house.  We are a partnership.  I'll take care of the kids and house when husband is gone at work but if he is home?  Nope. He's gonna help.  Do I do more?  Yes.  absolutely.  But mostly because I like it done MY way and then it becomes easier to just do it myself.  I don't want to complain about how my husband cleans the bathroom and thwart his efforts. So, I just do it.  But if I felt resentful, I would definitely have him help.  

Husbands/partners are a team.  I contribute to our finances by providing child care.  By being an economical shopper, etc.  So, therefore.  I expect him to clean up the dishes once and a while.  good luck

[mrsYoungs]

I used to have the same problem with my husband. Except the video games he would play on his phone and it would **** me off so eventually I had to talk to him about it cause he wasnt helping me when I had to watch my sisters kids im just as far along as you are what he needs to understand like my husband did is that we need the help there are certain stuff your not supposed to do while pregnant and that your significant other needs to do talk to him cause im sure you love him and of he loves you to he put the controler down and actually help you cause he needs to grow up now hes gonna be a daddy now andnot a over grown teenager

[BrittneyGrinder]

My husband and I agreed that I keep up on the house during the week days when he works, and then he'll help out on the weekends when he doesn't work. Maybe try that.

[RockRose]

Some of this is a communication problem about division of labor.

I think both of you need to sit down and decide who has what responsibility.

I believe if both are working outside the home,  then labor in the home should be split somehow.

if one is working and the other is managing the home,  that's how that gets divided up.

But if you're sick or injured or have a big project like houseguests coming for Thanksgiving,  the one who works should help out when there is extra labor to be done.

So first,  you have to come to an agreement when both of you are calm.  

If he believes he works so you should do all the cooking and cleaning (which is what I believe too) then you need to have that discussion.

So you're not just huffing around saying help me and he's saying rude things back.

You need to come to an understanding of the agreement.

[clowe93]

I have the same problem, my boyfriend doesn't want to help me around the house at all. He used to say I "work and I pay the bills, so you clean"

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, he IS disrespecting you.  Proper communication between couples isn't one telling the other to shut up when they have a concern.  

Maybe try to switch up how you talk to him to see if you have a better outcome.  Talk about how you are counting on him as your teammate and partner and you want this to be a WE situation that you both participate in.  ??

I don't know.  I don't get the whole gaming thing and basically think of video games and x box for children.  I would have a hard time seeing my husband as very manly if he sat around playing video games all day and DO expect him to be more productive in life, even his leisure time than that.  Like what a mind numbing, brain s ucking thing to spend your free time on all day.  So, I understand where you are coming from.  

I guess all you can do is try and be a connected couple that can talk about things and make changes in order to please the other. (both of you).  

And make sure you are seeking things like job training at trade school, community college or college so that if you need to, you don't feel 'stuck' in this situation and can support yourself with no problem.  good luck