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Avatar universal

just me ranting

I'm so sick of my sister. Ughhhhh. She comes to our house to do laundry doesn't help with laundry soap and oh of course this has to be the 3rd time since I've been pregnant that she's broke our dryer. (Not counting the 7 other times shes broken it before i was) She over fills it to ridiculous amounts. She had an industrial sized trash bag full of clothes she made into two loads. I'm so f'ing sick of it omg. And guess who pays for it. NOT HER. And not only that when she is here she leaves our space heater plugged in all night. That's cool, start a fire while all of us are upstairs asleep and you're downstairs. F the pregnant girl her fiance and your little brother.as long as she makes it out she wouldn't give a f I've had enough of this sh*t.pretty sad that I'm 3yrs younger than her and have more gdamn sense than her.
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Avatar universal
The bottom line is I need to grow a backbone and stand up for myself but I can't seem to do that for some reason ...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
U are exactly accurate I do feel like I'm about to explode because I feel so worn out on fixing everyone else's problems its causing a lot of problems in my life with my fiance he is sick of me going out of my way for everyone else and idk why I keep doing it.. That's just how we were raised and my sister obviously doesn't use her morals.. There's a lot more to my sister like u said mentally Ill is possible. Her boyfriend has beaten her up several times he's beat up my dad and myself before for no reason at all he jumped my dad one night awhile back so I can't seem to understand why my dad buys her love and likes her so much more when I've done everything for our family over and over, they treat me like sh*t when she's around but as soon as she's gone they need this they need that..its hard to handle..
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
kmrteen,  I'm sure since you are in this situation you've thought of many ways to handle this situation with the laundry,  but reading through your posts this toxicity between you and your sister goes a LONG way back and doesn't have much to do with a washing machine.

You could separate out her piles,  and show her exactly how to set up the machine.  She certainly doesn't want it breaking in mid cycle so she has soapy wet clothes to deal with.  

But that's not the issue.   This is bigger.  Somehow,  you two are at completely cross purposes.  Everyone in the family loves her,  and won't allow a cross word to be said about her,  and your dad is practically paying her to come visit,  so somehow she's beloved.  

But from your perspective,  she's mentally ill.    Repeatedly breaking your washing set up because she's over stuffing it and then turning dials all kinds of ways to make it go faster is crazy behavior,  if it's repeated and always breaks the machines.

Since she only comes over once in several weeks time,  I wonder if you could somehow try to put this out of your mind in between her visits.  It just seems like you are seething and about to boil over,  over something that's pretty fixable and happens rarely.

I do get it,  the feeling that a family member is a screw up and everyone loves them anyway,  but this seems to be ruining your life.
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Avatar universal
My dad will suck up to her until the end of time because the only time she comes around is to do laundry or to get money, she won't come for weeks then shows up with 6 baskets of clothes that she tries to make into 2 loads..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She over loads it and messes with the settings to make it go faster, she has no sense..and our washer is a little old school so u have to keep it on a setting that says small load or else water fills up and gets on the floor needless to say every time she leaves the switch is on super load and the floor is soaked. Our floor is literally beginning to rot. I love it being here with my dad and its gonna be a sad day for me when I leave because the main reason I want out so bad is because of her and she doesn't even live here. I know my dad loves me being here, but I can't take it..
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Only thing I can think of is maybe the timer is actually broken.  We have a rental property that we had to buy a dryer for because of this and it was actually the timer that was bad and running in a way that wasn't proper for the machine.  ???  

Anyway, yes, I'd get out of there as soon as possible.  some issues in family are best just to get away from because you probably won't be able to change what your dad or grandma does and as long as they do what they do with your sister, your sister will be there taking.  good luck
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
What the heck does she do that breaks it?  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yeah we're trying to get a place and I know the heating elements are expensive...we've bought 3 since I've been pregnant AFTER we had just purchased a new dryer... Our dryer was brand new and I take good care of our things but as soon as she comes over its a free for all..I know its not us breaking it because I've gone to the extremes to conserve our dryer just to prove a point..this isn't even mentioning the washers we've been through..sadly..
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, that is frustrating.  I'd try to get out as soon as possible from living with your dad and then you won't see the things she does and can be separate from it.  It's kind of on your dad as much as her for enabling her bad behavior.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Exxxactly all my sister does is leech off of us, not just me but also my dad that's why we pay the bills cuz as soon as my dad gets his paycheck she's over here asking for money, he is constantly fixing her car literally like every other week.she does it with my grandma too she has no respect for anyone..I go visit my GMA at least once a week and she always tries to hand me money cuz she's so used to my sister doing it to her. Its getting ridiculous..the worst part is she has a f'ing job. She's on her phone so much she's been through 4 in the past year and when her last one broke she flipped out on me cuz I had an extra one I was trying to sell and she cried like a baby to my whole family until I gave it to her she's a manipulative leech...and it doesn't pay to talk about it with my family cuz they think she's so perfect
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
It's hard to not have her over if it is your dad's place initially and he is letting her come.  What about moving to your own place separate from your dad?

I also say this as a person who just bought a new dryer . . .  after a couple of times patching it up . . .   someone can't just break a dryer.  It was going bad.  Might have just been a time for a new dryer.  I know that it got to the point that fixing it wasn't worth it anymore and we got a new one.  You can only patch them for so long.  A new heating element is more than half the cost of a new dryer.  Ha, can you tell I've recently been through this??  I got a nice one on sale for 400 bucks----  I think most places do have a way to buy it and pay over time.  Maybe your dad will do that for the house.  And around us, they have appliance places that are 'scratch and dent' for half price.  Usually you cant' even see it so it is a good place to look for a new dryer.   Just an idea.

good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds like my sister I don't even talk to mine anymore over the stupid stuff she does I'm 22 and she is 37 and I have more sense then she does I just found that the less I talk to her less I have to deal with I feel like if I ever need anything I should be able to go to her but no its the other way around she is like a leach and ***** everything out of me but you should talk to her and tell her how you feel cause you are pregnant and don't need the extra problems
Helpful - 0
9634886 tn?1405819605
Soooo talk to your dad about it....if he doesn't do anything about it then stop paying to fix things that you don't break.....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm not paying for it anymore. My fiances dad can fix it, but that's not the point. We would still have to buy a whole new heating element..for the 3rd time. We're having our baby in 4 weeks I seriously don't have the money for everyone else. They expect us to do EVERYTHING I'm growing very tired of it.. We've been looking for our own place for months now and we might have a nice place but they're in the process of remodeling and preparing it to rent so we can't do much atm..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its my dads house but my fiance and I have paid the bills since weve been here and paid for the damn dryer each time.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Is this your house or do you live with your mom?
Helpful - 0
9634886 tn?1405819605
Soooo tell her not to come over anymore. If it's your house you can't tell her you don't want her coming around anymore. Maybe if she goes haver and tries to do laundry tell her no she can't. If it's not her house then she has no right. I would never just walk up into my sisters house and whatever I want. Clearly she has no respect for you or your things.
Helpful - 0
9525685 tn?1410800512
Put your foot down tell her how your feeling
Helpful - 0

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13167 tn?1327194124
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