losing it please pray

[armom2b]

Can't believe I'm about to write this but I need someone anyone.  My bf well now ex bcuz I don't play that... attacked me on Tuesday. He got upset bcuz I poured a half glass of room temp water on him to wake him up to take me to work.  He is on disability right now has broken leg and we don't live together.  Anyhow he put his hands up and told me he was going to box me and started swinging at me. I called police once I was able to get away he left before they arrived.  My sister blames me bcuz she said I provoked him with the water. My cousin/best friend isn't talking to me for a different reason and I tried reaching out to him to let him know what happened and got nothing.  I'm now concerned what if something happened to the baby.  I can't stop crying idk what to do.

[specialmom]

No one said violent --- but it is aggressive and hostile.  I don't think the poster disputes that.  If one makes a choice to pour water on them, they should assume the person they do it to is going to be furious.  

I think the poster is moving on from the man and that is probably best for all involved.

But no one said it was violent and this isn't anything to argue about.  She DID call the police by the way as written in her posts.  

[wyattsmom2015]

when did throwing water become a violent action? she did not throw acid and a cup of water would not physically hurt him. Violent is stabbing, shooting or beating him. Her reacting in a violent manner would be wrong but she did not react in a violent manner. If someone refuses to leave my house I would grab them up and physically remove them myself. I call the police if I need help and most of the time I do not need help to kick someone out my house. No one has a right to disrespect or hurt someone in their own home, even if it is their girl friend. Plus how is reacting to someone else's actions starting anything? He started the argument by what he said and by not leaving when she asked, In my opinion he got off easy. I read the post to my husband and he started laughing and said that the guy brought it on his self and got off easy for his actions. When I was a child a cold wash cloth or cup of water is how I got woke up as a child, I refused to get up and would start hitting and kicking when someone tried to wake me up. It never harmed me but did teach me to wake up when I was expected to, When my alarm clock goes off I jump up like someone threw ice on me. It was just water get over it, If you want a man to talk badly or treat you badly more power to ya and don't expect every other woman to be ok with it. I have seen people on here get support for some of the stupidest things but a woman getting hit seems to be expected on this site. She came on here with something that made her sad and angry but no one had anything nice or supportive to say.

[specialmom]

Well, that really is crazy.   He got nuts and once you see that side of someone, you can't trust them to not lose it like that again.  I think you made a good choice to end this. Keep that police report in case you need it later regarding the child.   good luck

[armom2b]

Thanks @specicalmom the relationship is over. I won't accept anyone hitting me regardless if I poured water or not.  My entire living was filled with water from the bucket of soapy water he poured on me. My bed wasn't even wet from the water I poured on him. So I'm drenched in water and got attacked, I mean he was hitting me like a man well trying I tried really hard to push him off me. Called police soon as I got away. Even then he still was coming at me. While the water rolled off him.

[specialmom]

I understand why you were frustrated.  And no, I didn't think you personally used being pregnant as your choice for pouring the water.  I was simply pointing out that it was an aggressive move and it would result in anyone being extremely angry.  

I think this relationship has come to an end or at least it probably should.  Too toxic for all parties.  good luck

[armom2b]

And fyi we don't live together which I stated in my post. He lives with his parents.  I allowed him to stay the night to take me to work bcuz he said he would since I need a part for my car.  

[sassymommy7922]

Thinking that it's OK to pour water on someone  is ridiculous,  if she asked him to leave and he refused call the cops. It's OK for her to over react and not him? Smh....if you don't want to pay all the bills in your house then get a man that can help. You cannot allow something  and then be mad

[armom2b]

Thanks for the replies.  Not once did I ever say or use be being pregnant as an excuse.  I simply told my story and asked for prayers. If you don't agree with what I did that is fine but don't make it seem like I'm making it like I'm a saint.  He wasn't sleep when the HALF GLASS OF WATER touched his body.  I should have called the police when he refused to leave my house after asking several times.  What happen happened.  I'm going to remove myself from the site as soon as I figure out how to delete my profile.  I feel worse my expressing myself here than I did before.  We have NEVER had a fight before EVER. I don't aspect every one to agree with me.  I stand firm that water doesn't equal fighting me especially when he had already poured water on me.  I only wanted him to leave my house.  Now I'm left with bruises.  I wish all you ladies the best of luck.  

[specialmom]

Yes, agree.  Pregnancy is not an excuse for bad behavior. We all have hormones and it doesn't end with pregnancy.  As life goes on, women battle hormones for eternity.  (isn't it fun being a woman?  Ugh).  

[Baby_boy77]

I've been the one to support my significant other, and it IS VERY FRUSTRATING when they are ungrateful P.O.S about it and don't help around the house.... so I get it but... you will always wonder if you did everything you could do. You seem like the responsible kind of woman, so do what the responsible thing is for you, whatever that is.

Just don't use pregnancy as a crutch to be cruel... so many women do that and it's not how it should be. I know it's hard ( I've dealt with a lot of B.S.) I wish you all luck !! Xo

[specialmom]

pouring water on someone is aggressive.  And not acceptable.  What he did was not acceptable either.  This was a toxic interaction with both parties at fault.  and it is not going to lead to a happy, peaceful, stable home for this child.  So, I'd cut my losses and move on.  

[wyattsmom2015]

By the way if you asked him to leave your house and he replied like you said then you did not start it. If someone refuses to leave your house then your next action is to physIcally remove them. You are in no condition to do so, you were left with no choice but to give him no other choice but to get up. I would have did worse. A woman being pregnant by a man does not give him the right to treat her any way he wants. You should not be told that you are in the wrong because you stood up for yourself no matter how childish the reaction was. It was probably just the first thing that came to you mind when he refused to get up and help you or leave. From what you said you gave him ample warning to leave.

[Baby_boy77]

I don't think anyone should be woken up like that... but he should have accepted the fact that you have to be up and taken to work ands part of his "keep" to live with you there... living with someone who pays the bills is a privilege not an expectation. My man pays the bills and I counter with doing everything at the house possible while he is away so he doesn't have to worry or work longer when he gets home..

Your man should at least understand the minimum requirement would be to take you to work and then he can come back to rest and heal.

Haha my man got WAY mad when I've torn the covers off of him ( I keep the house pretty chill cuz I get too hot then sick..) to get him out for his work in the morning or else he sleeps in and is late (he has to leave at 5 am) but water is a no go.. I would be in the dog house forever if I did that. I already slept on the couches 90 percent of my pregnancy cuz he was snoring too much hahaha he is a sweetheart, just not a morning person.

Like those ladies said.. let it blow over. We all make mistakes and stupid decisions ( both sides of you two sound like a poor decision) I disagree with violence but it was provoked. The important things are that the baby is okay (go in to see the dr. If there is blood in your undies) and you are okay.

You guys need to talk about this... maybe take some time apart and try to handle this in a different way.

Go to a mutual location and discuss it like adults. Listen to him. Make sure he hears you too. You can't get through it  if you are worried about the next thing you are going to retort with after he finishes. Truly listen.

I Know Hormones suck. It's hard to listen when you're so hurt and upset... but you have to try

[wyattsmom2015]

He should have left. I would have threw a bucket of cold water with ice in it. I am in a similar position, I pay all the bills right now. My husband is out of work and he is not looking because he says he wants to help me around the house. Well he complains when he has to do anything and throws a big fit. I have always paid all the bills because I am the responsible one, when he was working he spent almost every penny on himself not me or the kids or even household bills. I make me so mad that women think everyman deserves to be treated with respect, I was taught that you earn respect. Just because they are guys does not mean that respect is just given. A real man would have been grateful to have a woman that was going to work and got up to make sure his woman had a ride there. You did the right thing by doing something and I hope you made a police report even though he was gone.

[specialmom]

I'm just going to say that it is pretty hostile to pour water on someone to wake them up.  Youch, I'd be super angry as well!!!!!!!!!!!  But he should never put his hands on you.  This relationship sounds volatile and probably best to let go of.  Not a good environment for a baby with a morning episode like this going on.  

If he is not contributing financially and you resent it, if you two fight on a regular basis and it escalates to things like this, etc. then I'd really just kind of move on as it isn't supposed to be this way.  Peace in a home is important!!  

I wish you all the best.  You sound like a lady that can take care of business in terms of supporting yourself and being strong, so I feel confident you are going to be okay as a single mom.  I know it is hard but when it gets to pouring water on someone because you are resenting them and then their reacting physically right back . . .   it's just toxic to be together.  good luck hon

[natielou]

I agree with the comment above. Your out of order for pouring water on him and its very rude and immature. You cant use the excuse he doesnt work or pay bills just so you can justify been rude as it obviously hasnt bothered you any other time as your with him and having his baby. He was obv shocked at been woking like that and shouldnt have lashed out. Your both at fault but more so you for starting it

[mamiofstb3]

This app is becoming worse than Springer... I'm done with it now that this post made up my mind because this is all sorts of ridiculous.......

[rdeli]

I don't agree, there's no way to spill  water on him. I think we should treat our man with respect. Don't take pregnancy as an excuse to do whatever we want. I would be pisse of if my husband did that to me.

[sassymommy7922]

I agree no man should attack a woman, but if a woman attacks him 1st, I don't see the issue. Don't get physical  1st and then expect someone  to walk away. You don't know what buttons you pushed by doing that and if u don't wAnt a man in your house that u pay the bills in even if he can't work so it's not like he's lazy, then he shouldn't  be there in the 1st place. Maybe he went to far, but the reality  is your also at fault

[alid32]

Yeah, he's in the wrong regardless of what you did.  No man should threaten or attack a woman ever- esp pregnant. You're better off without him.

[armom2b]

Just so you know I try waking him up several times. He told me he will get up when he wants to.  No man is going to lay in my bed where I pay bills and sleep when I'm struggling to find a way to work.  Furthermore a half glass of water?  If it upset him that much he could of left. He poured water back on me not even the same amount.  A bucket of water with soap in it. Then attacked me.  So a small amount of water is ok for him to cause me physical harm??? I didn't think it was right to hit anyone.  I had asked him to leave several times when he told me he wasn't taking me to work. His reply he will leave when he wants.  I'm not claiming throwing water on him was right but he should of never put his hands on me. He should have respect my request and left.

[aicnov14]

I'm sorry but that was just plain rude and true he shouldn't lose himself like that with a baby in the picture, just give it some time to blow over, it'll be okay!

[aicnov14]

I'd probably wanna pop you one too if you seriously dumped water on me instead of shaking me like a normal person. if he hasn't shown any aggression like that towards you ever, no mental abuse or physical in the past I'd honestly let it go, that's a bit of a shock getting woke up like that. What the heck would you do? You know you'd have the same reaction.